tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post2190708056142058031..comments2023-04-29T05:25:25.200-06:00Comments on Loving Me Always: I am struggling...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15409977636543884387noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post-17931955499065796522013-11-26T14:50:47.775-07:002013-11-26T14:50:47.775-07:00This is a great post. Reading it, I realized that...This is a great post. Reading it, I realized that I get somewhat anxious about our maintenance/reconnect spankings. Not because I'm dreading or fearing them, but because I'm not feeling secure in how he's going to handle it. I've shared with J that they need to be harder and longer, because they weren't really doing anything for me.....they had come to feel rather comforting. I think I'm worrying ahead of time whether it will happen the way I need it to.<br /><br />I agree with K that talking the next day about the spanking and both of your feelings about it is a good idea. I'm thinking of talking to J about that for us.<br /><br />The dialogue about Alex's toes made me laugh :)Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13515398597364090414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post-42881653282221159812013-11-22T05:35:07.319-07:002013-11-22T05:35:07.319-07:00Please don't be so hard on yourself, ( I know ...Please don't be so hard on yourself, ( I know easier said than done). As you know we have been doing reconnection spankings since we started ttwd ( I know we are but a drop in the bucket time wise compared to you two). While I applaud Alex for talking you through all of this, it isn't always so simple as to trust and call it that. Our minds/hearts have a HUGE impact on how we deal with any given situation. Sure we are willing/wanting to submit fully and accept whatever they decide, the issue is how we prepare. Let's face it, it hurts! And when we climb on board we are expecting to feel their dominance. Yes expectation is a tricky thing. When they don't share that they have changed their mind mid spanking it is awfully confusing. Picture us on a playground merry go round ( um not the classy ones with horses and stuff, the ones that will make you vomit). All seems well and good until you get off. Your mind is spinning and you are disorientated. <br />I don't think it is a matter of trust. You see a punishment you can wrap your head around. As you can a reset. An r/a session is different in that it is a reconnection so that alone is different to each person and in each situation as well. I personally think all it would take , at least for the next few times is for Alex to say during if he changed his mind about the severity, " we are going a different direction now". I am not saying tell you in advance, but I have been there where an r/a has become something different and I can tell you the confusion is really difficult. Your mind and body are preparing for one thing, ( another analogy--- like being pulled up to the peak in a roller coaster, and then it levels out instead dropping down- still has an effect just not the same) and he delivers another.<br /><br />Blah, blah, blah willie. I basically am talking about my personal experiences and this really may not be the case in your situations, but I felt I should share in case it was. Mostly, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOUSELF. Ttwd is about getting to know each other but also yourself!<br />williewilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post-42071013522905720782013-11-22T01:17:11.167-07:002013-11-22T01:17:11.167-07:00Oh dear did I laugh about your toe conversation ha...Oh dear did I laugh about your toe conversation haha<br /><br />I totally get what you're saying with the reconnect. I can deal with punishment and the maintenance ones, as I know what they're for, but with te reconnect I just get a mental block. It's like why am I getting spanked when I haven't done anything wrong and mostly not knowing how the spanking will be, whether if its more intense or not and if we will also reconnect in other ways. H says its needed to keep our mind set in our roles, and I get that, but I just sort of lose my focus in that as soon as I know it's going to happen :(<br /><br />Oh well we will carry in learning I suppose :)<br /><br />Hugs xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post-29032326627598689342013-11-22T00:10:41.095-07:002013-11-22T00:10:41.095-07:00So sorry that you are off! The feeling that you di...So sorry that you are off! The feeling that you disappointed or hurt your husband has got to be the worst! If I even suspect I have I tear up! I think this has happened to many of us, in one way or another. It is easy to get wrapped up in your own viewpoint without realizing it because the only feelings that you can feel are your own, of course. I find myself asking my husband a lot more now, like probably to the point of annoying him, how he feels about a particular moment, act, conversation, etc. because his view very often differs from mine. I know you will sort it all out :) River Wildhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12914080438490765849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7212712207893602436.post-59485751237116937622013-11-21T18:03:02.625-07:002013-11-21T18:03:02.625-07:00I am amazed at how 2 people can be in the same sce...I am amazed at how 2 people can be in the same scenario, but come out of the situation with 2 completely different view points. We do all the time. Whether it's an intimate issue or a Dr appointment. <br /><br />I love the way he can communicate with you though. Asking you questions to get to the bottom of the disconnect, instead of assuming he knows and can if the problem. I have no advice really, but to just suggest maybe you can discuss each reconnect session to make sure you both are on the same page after... I struggle with good communication so hopefully your better than me. It took 3 years of reading before I could even utter the words to Hubby. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com