Thursday, February 27, 2014

Quick Check In...

"Why are we making two of everything if they are sharing their big day?"

"Because they each want to be unique and stand out in their own way."

"Then why don't they have separate weddings and be uniquely normal?"

"I vote you ask that question tonight at the family planning meeting."

"Seriously, this is getting silly!  We have to have two entry points because they can't both travel down the same way.  Plus, they can't agree on the same number of friends to stand up with them."

"Oh, you must be behind.. They are now color coding their friends and the over flow will help to seat and cover DJ and cake and camera duties."


"Oh yes, they are now fighting over the disposable camera solution so we may yet be on the hook to find a photographer, which is going to be fun since we have just over a week until the wedding."

"We had a photographer!! They fired the photographer together!  That was the only thing they have agreed upon this entire time!"

"Lori honey, you are preaching to the choir here... I was right there when they did it.  But now they both don't agree that disposable cameras will capture all the fine points of their wedding and the kids might get ahold of them and waste them. "

"So we watch the cameras and tell the kids up front to not touch them and let the adults take the pictures. We can't change course now, it's just too late for them to change their minds."

"Couldn't agree with you more... You going to tell them?"

"No.. I am calling Jay and electing him to tell them."

"Bet ya a glass of Merlot he calls Alex and makes him do it."

"Are we talking your good Merlot you have hidden downstairs or the cheap stuff in the rack in the kitchen?"

"Hey now, that is just... Oh fine, the good stuff."

"You are on!"

This was the conversation Lori and I had yesterday afternoon on the phone... I will be sitting down with a glass of her best Merlot this evening (she doesn't hide her good stuff like I do), as Alex had a REALLY bad headache last night after telling the ladies they must use disposable cameras and move on.  Easy bet for me...  :0)  

The wedding is March 8th and it IS in our backyard!!  I won't even get into the family drama that made that happen.  Needless to say I have been swamped busy the last few weeks trying to keep our schedules moving and not losing my mind with all the wedding drama.  We even had a groom faint dead away last weekend during one of our "family planning meetings".  Yes, this family is not for the faint of heart!  I seriously wanted to have a shirt made saying that and pass it out at the next meeting, but Alex said no.  Grrrrrrr.  He is just no fun!

The teenagers have a pool going (one they don't think we adults know about, aren't they just adorably cute and naive still...) on if one or both the grooms don't just make a run for it...  I would love to put money down on the odds of the fainter making a run for it, but I guess that would just be a bit wrong.. Sigh.

It has been a while since I posted so wanted to make a quick post to let the few that come by know I am still here.. Just crazy busy with this wedding drama.  I would love to report that the amount of drama and crazy has helped to keep me out of trouble...But sadly it would seem that I am not capable of staying out of trouble anymore.  I kept telling myself that it was a just a phase or the time of year was playing into things.. But I have now just come full circle that I am no longer capable of staying out of trouble and honestly I don't even care.  Maybe it is my age or just the point of life I am in...  Alex doesn't seem to be all that put out either and assures me no matter what I throw his way he will be able to handle.  I tried to tell him maybe he just needed a vacation and that he was just overly HOHy lately.. But neither of us really went with that theory.  I can feel a change in myself and can't really say what has made me want to push the boundaries more, but I am..  Not in a major way that is unsafe or damaging to our marriage or family.  But I am pushing... Sassy could be my middle name.  Plus having Lori and even Jay down the street has made me feel more like my younger self I think too.  I got into trouble the other week with Jay.. He is an HOH and led me astray, yup I blame him!!  (Are you falling for that? Yeah, Alex didn't either and Jay didn't look at all sorry about it.)

Ok, I am off to head home and to my lovely glass of wine with Lori...  I promise to post and let everyone know how the wedding ends up and maybe post about the trouble Jay got me into.  :0)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Is boring too much to ask for???

Two of Alex's sisters are getting married in March and they have decided to share their special day.  Now one of these two have been engaged for two years, but has just left all the details to the last minute.  The other sister has only known her soon to be husband for three months and so the family is still in shock and maybe in a bit of denial to be honest about her getting hitched.  My perception on Alex's family is that the boys were raised with a more firm hand, because these girls are all over the place.  Seriously, his sisters drive me batty...  I love them, don't get me wrong, but they drive me completely up the wall with the choices they make and how they expect their brothers to save the day for them when they mess up.  I told Alex he needs to tell them his super hero cape is at the cleaners or something to give him some much need rest from their dramas.

Last Friday I got a phone call from Laci, she is the one that has only known her fiancĂ© for three months and is now not only joining Kenzie at the alter... But taking over the details of the wedding as well.  Due to weather, timing (lack of planning on Kenzie's part) and finances they want to have the wedding in our back yard.  SERIOUSLY?  Wouldn't you think this conversation warrants a bit more than a phone call?  We want to take over your entire month of February planning the wedding and oh by the way your back yard and home for an entire weekend in March on a telephone call at 8am on a Friday morning!!!  Did she really expect for me to say that sounds WONDERFUL and dance a happy jig????

I mean the dust is still settling from our move, the holidays were a blur and my stress level has just started to level out.  Not that she is aware, but I haven't even managed to stay out of trouble for one entire week of 2014 so far... What are the chances of that improving if I have to enter into this new huge pot of CRAZY?

Once I was able to put words together again after the initial statement, I do me statement she didn't even ASK!  I told her that I could understand that finances and timing would make a backyard wedding more viable for them, but that my backyard was probably not the location they should be focusing on.  We just moved in and still have boxes in storage we are dealing with, not to mention my daughter has started her count down for getting her drivers permit and my son has only been driving for a few short months.  So we have teenagers to keep up with and just basic life moments we are trying to catch up on since we got so behind with the move and holidays.  Is it really wrong for me to want to put the brakes on anything big right now and focus on regrouping?

Laci wasn't happy at the end of the phone call, she hung up with out saying goodbye so to me that is just rude from anyone but from family??? Come on now!  I didn't even take time to breath, just picked the phone right back up and called Alex.  I had to beat her to him was my first thought and it was closely followed by... Oh you just wait until I tell him about this latest problem his sisters are dumping on his door step.

Alex: "Hey honey, I am stepping into a meeting is this important?"

Me:"Do you want a double wedding in our backyard in just over one month from now to happen?"

Alex: "Give me five minutes and I will call you back."

So while I waited for his phone call I got a text from Lori... "Did you talk with Laci and Kenzie about having their wedding in our backyard? I am going into class right now and am more angry than I can even say in a text message."  So I wrote her back.. "Interestingly enough you are not in angryville alone and no, we talked about the wedding being in our backyard not yours." Which got me a "WHAT???" back.  I told her to call me when she had some free time between classes.  Lori is a teacher and she loves her job, but her being in class all days makes it hard for us to gossip.. I mean chat during the day.

Alex finally called me back and I was able to relay the conversation I had with Laci to him and informed him we were not the only angle being played as Lori had texted me about them having the wedding in her backyard and they had put my name in there some place too.  He obviously could tell I was upset so he told me not to worry and to let him make some phone calls and we could talk about it when he got home.  I wished him the best of luck and hung up...  I even managed to get lost in work and totally forgot about everything until later that night when I came home.

Laci and Kenzie were in my kitchen with Alex and his mother chatting happily with wine and munchies.  Both of them live a good hour to an hour and a half from us and his Mom is staying with Lori and Jay for a few weeks before heading back to the mid-west and hopefully less snow.  So them just dropping by without planning at all was just not realistic, so this was a planned attack.  Alex came and greeted me with a huge hug and a whisper in my ear to "be nice" (ME?) and a squeeze to emphasize the statement.  Grrrrrrr.   I was given a glass of wine and a chair materialized out of nowhere and I was pushed into it and told to relax after my hard day at work.  All I could think was no amount of wine and buttery words are going to change the fact that these ladies are scheming against me and I am NOT backing down. (I also wanted to know how Alex had let it get this far and why didn't he call me and warn me what I was coming home to?)  I took the wine and made a show of sitting back and relaxing..  That would be when Kaylee came bouncing into the room exclaiming she had just found the ultimate wedding dresses for both Laci and Kenzie.  She noticed I was there and bounced over... "Isn't this just too exciting Mom? Two weddings in one and we get to be part of all of it and they are even letting me help with the theme and everything!"  Oooooohhhhhhhh NO they didn't!!!  They went around me to my daughter??? Seriously?  Now that is just playing dirty right there...

I turned to make eye contact with Alex and he looked like he was about to throw up.... Literally, the man was green.  He turned from the room and just barely made it to our bathroom before he was sick.  The flu bug had hitched a ride home with him and he was sicker than a dog for the rest of the night.  (Unfortunately Kyle was next and it hit Kaylee just last night... Ugh.) Needless to say Alex was sick and out of commission and I was left to CLEAN house.  Which I did... I was nice enough about it but was very determined to let them know that we were all off limits for at least the entire weekend.  So I got them all out the door and my kitchen cleaned up and took care of Alex the rest of the night.  It only dawned on me in the wee hours of the morning when Alex finally stopped getting sick and fell asleep that I had no clue where the wedding location currently was and how far in they had pulled Kaylee.  Really, Alex at this point hadn't even told me his thoughts or what conversation he had had about all this either.  Alex slept most of Saturday and when he was up he looked like death warmed over, so we didn't talk about anything important.  I kept him loaded up with fluids and watched movies with him until he fell back to sleep again.

 The flu bug did actually help me win the Super Bowl party argument... I didn't want to attend any parties this year, but stay home and watch from home and relax.  We had been invited to something like 7 different parties, just crazy the amount of people throwing Super Bowl parties this year.  Alex had said we would wait and play it by ear to see what we ended up doing, so it looks like a really good thing we didn't commit to anyone.  Jay came down after it was apparent the game was just not going to get any better and he made sure no one was currently tossing their cookies, he and Alex went out back for about an hour.  I was guessing they were talking about the wedding so kept my distance and gave them space. (But dang, I really wanted to know what was going on. Amazing how I could go from wanting NOTHING to do with the weddings to wanting to know EVERYTHING. Yes, I admit to my nuttiness, but I am a woman we change our minds ALL the time!)  Lori called while they were out talking and said I should meet her half way between the houses to "borrow" something.. I didn't get the clue right away but the quick whisper made me jump to the conclusion Maria was right next to her and she obviously had information she wanted to share. (YES!  I was finally going to get some information about the weddings!!)  So I decided cookies were needed and I was out of eggs and should really borrow some right then and could she meet me half way.. Lori quickly (and with a happy/giddy tone) repeated that I was out of eggs and why sure she had some I could have and she would meet me half way.

I have to wonder what the neighbors between our houses think of our two families.. If anyone had watched the confrontation Jay and I had a weekend or two back that would have been fun enough.. But the amount of kids that go back and forth daily and the amount of time Lori and I spend meeting half way to talk... Lori talks with her hands.. (Don't kill me, you know you do!) I am pretty animated when I get going on subjects that get under my skin so I can only imagine what they have decided about our families from watching us the last few weeks.  This conversation or lack there of would only just add to their belief we are Crazy people...  Lori came jogging from her side cradling the carton of eggs and I came running from my side with my monster puppy in tow.  (We have been working on leash training and so far I can say he has failed miserably.)  So it wasn't too surprising that when I came to a stop he didn't and he launched himself at Lori. (I think animals can sense when a person doesn't like their kind (Lori is NOT a dog person) and they go that extra step then to torment them for revenge.)  Also you should know I call him a monster puppy but he is not so much a puppy anymore in that he is 75 pounds of happy now...But very much still in puppy mode, he has zero manners yet.  So Lori ended up covered in egg and got a pretty nasty scrape on her left knee that started to bleed to the point we needed to get her inside quickly.  She wouldn't walk anywhere near the dog and so I told her to take the lead and I stayed a few steps behind with the monster in tow.  He was still bouncing around with tongue hanging out and all not a care in the world and if he had egg on him it was not noticed.  (Oh the life of a dog.) So we went back to my house and we no sooner got through the door when the men noticed we were there and Lori was hurt.  Jay came in and swept Lori away and back to their house (dang, I still don't know what is going on with the weddings!) and Alex turned on me... Well he turned his HOH, you better start talking look on me.

Me: "Alex, I was going to make cookies and we are out of eggs and so Lori was going to give me some. I went to meet her half way and took the puppy to get some extra leash time in and he got super excited and took Lori out.  It all happen really quickly, thank goodness it is just a scratch on her knee because he really took her down fast and hard.  You should really take a turn at the leash thing with him, he might listen to you better than me.  There is still some light left you could take him now, you know if you felt up to it. "

Alex was leaning up against the kitchen door way at this point and when I ended with him taking a walk with the puppy if he felt up to it he just continued looking at me as he crossed his ankles and sighed.  Ok.. guess he is not taking the monster for a walk anytime soon and we are going to actually have a conversation... Heck, I better just get this over with I mean it was pretty innocent really... Just a quick gossip between sister in laws.  Wasn't he and Jay doing the same in the backyard or was that ok under HOH standards, since they were figuring out if there was a way to tame their sisters this late in the game?  (I know, I am so bad... but really these girls get away with EVERYTHING!)

Me: "Lori called and it seemed like she might have some information about the weddings that she couldn't talk about with your Mom right there next to her.. So she was going to meet me half way with eggs so your Mom didn't know we were going to talk about everything that is going on."

This was all said without making eye contact, because really he already had to know this without my admitting it... (I don't make or eat cookies unless forced by a school project or function that I get volunteered for and can't get out of..)  Sunday night is our reconnection night and I REALLY didn't want a un-fun spanking that night.  Seriously, my goal all last week was to have a FUN spanking this weekend and change my stripes for February to be a good month.  I had not gone one week in January without getting into trouble!  We have been meaning to try out some implements and have some fun since late last year and have yet to have the time or the lack of trouble to get it done.  :0(

Alex: "We are not having the weddings here or at Jay & Lori's home. Mom and I have found a few other locations that they are going to check out next week and decide which will work for them. There intentions in dragging Kaylee into the details may not have been pure at the beginning but they are loving her help and enthusiasm so we should really let her help as much as they will let her and she enjoys.  If you wanted an update all you had to do was ask and I would have told you what I know and Lori could have been spared the hurt knee and up close cuddle with your uncontrollable dog."

(Did I mention we had this lovely puppy because I found him and brought him home?  He found me actually and was so small and dirty and clearly mistreated.  How did I know once he recoverd he would become a HUGE menace? A very huge and cute menace to be exact...I wouldn't change it for the world and neither would Alex, if he was being completely honest.)

Me: "Yes, of course that would have been the best way of getting information but you have been sick and then Lori called and you were with Jay... So I thought why not find out what I could and make some cookies for the kids at the same time.  It's a win/win right?"

Alex: "Jay was right... Lucy and Ethel." He finished that statement with a shake of his head and a chuckle.

It only took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about... He and Jay grew up watching EVERY "I Love Lucy" show.. I mean they can probably tell you by heart several episodes!  Grrrrrr.

Me: "Oh yeah Ricky, well then you and Fred had better stay one step ahead then."

That got me a raised eyebrow and then he started towards me...

Alex: "Oh honey, trust me I am WAY ahead of you."

I ended up having a VERY FUN spanking that night and we called in sick on Monday... So we had even more fun while the kids were in school..

I now have a favorite implement too!  But that is just an entirely different post all on its own..   :0)