Plans Are Over Rated Too!!

We had a bit of a wild night last night...  I had made sure that Alex and I would be alone and that his favorite dinner and wine were ready the second he walked into the front door.  My plan was to let him know just how sorry I was about the speeding tickets and all his extra worry about my driving this year.  And if all that extra effort might change his mind about me driving... Well then all the better.

But instead I had.... two mind blowing orgasms and he added more time to my sentence.

Dang, but that didn't turn out as planned and yet I am still on cloud nine.  :0)

This is what went down...

Romantic table set for two with fresh flowers, candles just ready to be lit and a wonderful Merlot opened and breathing.  The entire house smelled of stuffed shells and garlic bread warm and waiting in the oven.  I was up in my bathroom putting myself together without making it looking like I am putting myself together. (Yeah, you ladies know what I am saying!)  Now all I need to do is head downstairs and wait for my man to arrive home.   But wait, that is the garage door now so one last touch up and off I go.  He meets me on the stairs and does the up and down look but he has his intense alpha look, which has me doing a double take and quickly going over my day to figure out what put that look in place... I started down and he started up and my smile is shaking at this point, as I can't figure out why he looks so... INTENSE.    We make it to the middle of the steps and then he has me up against the wall and his hands are all over.  He takes my mouth which was half open in shock,  my hands are pulled above my head.  He pushes against me a bit harder and he is at my ear in a low voice...

Alex: "Dinner for two, candles and wine..Now why does that smell like some one is trying to seduce some one else? Hmmmm."

Me: "I just wanted to show my man some love, is that so wrong?" (And why am I so out of breath all the sudden?)

Alex: "Only when that love has ulterior motives attached... Is that the case tonight or is this just because?"

Me: "Um..."

Alex: "That is what I thought.... So it looks like you need to be reminded."

With that I was flipped around so that I was now face to face with the wall and he now had my hands pushed up above my head on the wall.

Alex: "Move your hands and your bottom will pay, understood?"

Me: "Yes sir."

Oh heck, when in the world did I pull sir out of my pocket when I wasn't seeing a paddle in the mans hands.  This was a new one for me, but my goodness I was not well versed in being put up against a wall like this in the middle of a stair case hello!!! Gut instinct was to give this man 100% respect and what ever else he wanted...

My sun dress went up and he actually tied the darn thing around my wrists above my head...  He kissed my neck and worked his way down my shoulders and down my back until he reached my underwear.  Then in one motion he ripped the side and off they went and dang those were some nice undies he just killed... Sigh.  I got a swat on my left cheek and a gruff voice telling me that he didn't like me wearing underwear they just get in his way.  Yes, but when you are wearing a sun dress it is sorta of a needed item.  I didn't explain that right then, I was not really able to voice much at this point but it's amazing how the mind can still flutter around and make some sense while all this was going on....

I heard the zipper on his pants and could hear the cloth as they hit the floor and then my legs were pushed further a part.  Then he bent down and decided my left cheek could use a kiss after seeing his hand print and then moved over and sweetly kissed the right side.  (How did I know this, he was telling me his thoughts in a very low gruff voice that sent chills up and down my spine.) I was super turned on and so very excited so when the sharp pain of teeth biting my right cheek registered I was warped from excited to surprised to nervous... This man has never left marks or been this amorous outside of our bedroom.  Don't get me wrong, we have had lots of fun outside of our bedroom...But not this intense.

I was breathing really hard at this point and don't think I have ever been this turned on EVER! (So this alpha male takes over the world.. or me...works REALLY well for me.)  Then he was back up and I was being bent at the waist and then he was in me... One thrust and he was home and we were both up against that wall together and both consumed by our needs and wants for each other that we just stood there for moments like that.... Then he started to move slowly at first and then got a harder rhythm that took my breath away.  Between our position on the steps and our height difference my feet were not touching any ground during most of this as the motion from his hips moved me up and the arm he had around my waist was lifting. We were both breathing hard and sucking for air and then all I could do was hold on to that dang wall and let the sensations roll over me one after the other, it was mind blowing that orgasim that hit me.  Then Alex let out a loud yell and held us there against that wall while I could feel him pulsing into me over and over...  It took us several minutes to recover and when I finally had some sense back and started to move my hands I heard.

"Don't"  in my ear and froze.   He was still pulling in air and finding his ground again, but once he did he asked me...

Alex: "Who is in charge here?"

Me: "You."

Alex: "Good answer."

He kissed my neck and swatted my bottom and said let's get a shower and then eat what smells like one of his favorites.  Our shower was the exact opposite of what had just happen on the steps, he was slow and careful with me.  He started at my head washing my hair and then he washed me from head to toe very, very slowly and with me completely still and taking it all.  When I was washed he asked me to stand and watch as he cleaned himself and then he got us out and dried us both off.  I was put into one of his t-shirts and he put on some boxers and down to the kitchen we went hand in hand.  He decided what was done and in what order and we only ate off one plate with him offering up the food for us both.  Once we finished and took the rest of the wine up to bed, he pulled off my shirt and started his slow exploration once more... I have never felt so much intense attention from him like this, he covered every inch of my body several times last night and he took his time in doing it...

His parting words this morning were that he loved me and wanted me safe and ready for him when he gets home tonight... No ulterior motives other than to love and trust my husband.   To that he got a really big ... "Yes sir!"   (No paddles or walls needed for this one!)

Last night while holding me in his arms Alex told me that he liked my post on what I have learned over the last year.  He said that he found my comment on how life has many stages and we will change for each stage really hit home for him.  He lost both his parents this year and that has made a huge impact on him as a parent and husband.  I have noticed he is making extra time for the kids these days and where he was once easier on "family" time being missed he is dead set against letting it happen anymore.  He is much more protective of me and harder on me now too, this is a huge thing for us right now.  I need to meet him in the middle and make it easier for him by not making him worry so much... Which would be me staying off ladders, not speeding and generally thinking through impulsive ideas a bit more before jumping head first into them.  Sigh... All super hard for me, but within my grasp.  We promised to grow old together and I am going to do my best to live up to that agreement!!

Driving Is Over Rated Anyway!!! :0(

It's a thousand degrees out still so rolling down the windows and letting the wind play havoc with my hair isn't an option.

Plus using the AC on high just eats more gas which causes me to spend more money... Not to mention the smell of said gas is gross, so filling up the tank is not my favorite activity.

I guess listening to music and singing at the top of my lungs can still be done outside a car, just seems more fun while driving.  Now that I type that I wonder just how many people have watched me boogie and sing on my way to and from places over the years and got a kick out of it... Or thought maybe I shouldn't be driving.  Grrrrrr

I just got a new air freshener for my car too... This could be considered false freshening!! I mean I am technically freshening air that is not being used, that is just soooooo wasteful right?!?

I have seen the light....

I will mend my ways...

For the love of all that is mobile and moving in this world other than me... I WILL DO BETTER!!

I WANT TO DRIVE SOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!  

I know it hasn't even been two weeks yet, but this punishment is driving (not literally, ugh) me nuts.  I have even asked to be spanked instead of this, but he is not bending an inch.  This is the first time he has ever taken my driving privileges away and I am going to REALLY try to make it the last too.  I don't care if I get dubbed the granny driver of the century, this lady is not zipping any where ever again.  

PROMISE!!!   

One Year In - What I have learned...

Alex asked me last night what I have learned over the last year or where my mind was in regards to what I have read here in blog land.  I just thought I would share a few things that we discussed...

One of the benefits of this wonderful community is being able to read about how different everyone is, yet how similar in other areas we all are... We all want our relationships to be the best they can be  and to be successful.  Huge common ground right there!  Most of us are using some form of DD to help accomplish this success and happiness within our relationships.  For any of this to work, both people in the relationship must give of themselves either in leadership or submission.  Not everyone is a born submissive or a born leader and the rules/scenarios of how things are done changes within each relationship.

Everyone's glass slipper is a different fit..

Commitment:

Commitment is huge!!  Let's face it people, it's not easy being in any kind of relationship!  It takes work on both sides to communicate and participate for there to be a relationship.  Everyone is different which makes it all the more challenging because now you are participating with some one that may or may not agree with, think like or is even willing to give an inch on various topics in life.  When two people agree to participate in a relationship and all the aspects of a relationship you need both people to be 100% in it or it won't work.  You may have that one person that is willing to take up and give more if that other is not willing to give a full 100% but how long will that really last?  Will that relationship really be great enough for that one person giving now over 100% to stick it out?    

Worse what if they both start out at 100% on a "improvement" strategy like including a form of DD, but one of them get lazy or decides it just isn't worth the effort.  This DD aspect takes work, that is just the truth...  The leader is taking on responsibility of the entire family and their partner... That is just huge!!  The other person is giving a large part of themselves over to the other to lead and take care of and that is huge too!!  You both came together to find a common strategy but when that one person doesn't follow through (or maybe both), now you have two people unhappy and they feel it's time to take away what ever is bugging them. But that very thing was what was brought in to help their relationship in the first place.  

She totally wants that glass slipper back!!

I thank God daily that our relationship was pretty much founded on Alex being the leader and DD was just going to be part of our marriage.  We agreed and that was just it... Done... Over...  We have never once even thought of or spoken of removing it.  Have I asked him to be more relaxed.. YES!  Have I asked for rules to change or be removed... YES!  But never in our 18 years of marriage have we ever talked about it being removed... It is just part of our marriage.  We both struggle at times with our roles that we agreed to take, but we have both stayed the course and that to me is a big win.

Submission:

Submission is not easy for me, it is not one of my natural tendencies and that gets me into trouble.  But the amount of time over the years I have spent working on this has really helped me now in many ways.  Does it still come naturally to me?  Nope!  :0)  Honestly, it's a daily struggle but one that has gotten easier over time.  Do I still find times when finding my submission doesn't happen with out help?  ABSOLUTELY!!  I am human and will always fall short in some way and this will more than likely be one of them...  I just know myself after 38 years of life and know how stubborn I can be.  (We won't even get into my temper being a major factor either...Ugh)  Honestly, I am also a born leader and have a hard time switching gears to let Alex lead us...  I just have come to the conclusion that I love this man in such a huge way that I was and still am willing to put my trust in him and let him lead us.  It's a challenge, but one I am willing to deal with for the love of this man and my family. Just as I know that he has to love me over the moon and back to put up with some of my crap.  :0)

No more glass slippers here folks!!

Reading all the blogs out there and seeing how other women are struggling in their submission has been really helpful.  Not only have I taken inspiration from these women, but felt like I had company on the days that I read a post but could have written it myself as I had done that same dang thing and was just as unhappy.  The posts that were written in celebration over newly found submission or improvement in that area is just as inspiring and I cheer right along with them!!  I also then take time to ask myself where I might be in that particular submission and decide if I need to work on it as well.


Which brings us to leadership:

What I feel deep down is that without good leadership...without consistent leadership, it's really hard for any relationship to survive or be healthy.  Power struggles will only break away slowly at the foundation of the relationship and eventually do permanent damage.  So even on the days that I wish Alex would relax his stance on some areas or just look the other way when I don't keep my end of the deal... I am so VERY glad that he doesn't.  Heck, I am so very glad he took the leadership and is willing to be the strong one that will always push and do the hard stuff necessary to keep us on the right track... I sure as heck don't want that job!  :)

My King can have it!!

Lot of thought provocation from reading blogs and seeing how others are working on their marriages or just doing the day to day thing.  Which if I am honest, is exactly what Alex and I needed last year when we found these blogs.  Our marriage is to a point where we will be empty nesting it soon and our kids are to the age that we don't have them under foot 24/7.  We will be left to just love and live with and for each other and it has been a REALLY long time since we just had each other.  So finding these blogs and working on focusing more on "us" now will only help us when these kids go out and start their own adventures.  Life has its stages and we will change as we meet each stage, but having each other will see us through all the changes.

A year in from discovering this blog land and learning from all the wonderful people posting and sharing...

DD is a tool for some relationships... DD is part of the foundation of a relationship for others... In the end every relationship is as different as the people in them.  Alex and I are in it for the long haul and I wouldn't change our relationship or the form of DD we have decided to incorporate for anything.

And I feel like one VERY lucky lady to be in love and be so loved by my husband.

Summer is coming to an end....

I live in the desert so we don't see much wet here, the end of summer we see a bit more wet but not much.  Well this last few weeks have been AMAZING and ....WET!   The night before last we experienced a micro burst which landed our neighbors tree down and against our garage door.  Alex's  truck was trapped until the guys were able to hack the thing into pieces and get it off the door. (So was my car, but since it's not going any place any time soon... Grrr)  Seeing my son with all the men hacking the tree up was a huge eye opener... He is all grown up!!!  I had a moment where I walked out and didn't realize he was one of the guys hacking because he looked like all the men.  My heart did a little squeeze and my eyes filled up a little and then I had to take a deep breath and tell myself it's time to start letting him go.... Very sad moment.  Alex was at this point last year but it has taken me longer to come to terms with him being grown.  He is a senior and will be leaving us for college next summer, so I really need to start preparing (if that is even possible for a mother) for him leaving the nest.  Like me, he will be graduating at 17 and going off to college and away from home before hitting 18.  By looking at him you would never know since he is 6'4 and his voice is deeper than Alex now. He did apply to some in state schools, but none close enough to stay at home and attend.  Kyle also approached Alex about working in the company and aligning on his education to either partner or eventually take over Alex's company.  That was HUGE!!!  Kyle has never worked with Alex and has constantly said no to part time jobs over the years that Alex had offered him.  So to say Alex has been walking around on cloud nine for a few days is an understatement for sure!!

Kaylee on the other hand will be staying an extra year at this point, as she is going to redo her 9th grade here at home with me.  I told you a few weeks ago she wanted to try online schooling, but what I didn't mention is that she was given very little choice but that things had to change this year.  Kaylee has multiple learning disabilities and we have had a horrific few years with the school systems working with her and her IEF.  So this year we told her that we would look into a charter or private school, as we were done with public.  (Her grades were horrible and her AIM scores confirmed she didn't retain or learn enough to "meet" what was expected at her age.) So we went to a few interviews and she decided to try online for now and if that doesn't work we will go back to private.  This is her second week and so far she LOVES online school and honestly so do I!  We are working together and it feels great to have this time with her alone every day.  She still is heavy into the youth group at church and she has her cousins down the street too.. But she has learned a bit about friendship, as some of her friends have shown their true colors with her not attending school with them now.  Plus her older cousin Alissa is leaving this week for college which is a good two hour drive from here and she is not liking it at all.  These two girls have become very close over the last several months living so close and it's taking a toll on both of them saying good bye.  Alissa will come down as often as she can, but it will be different and Kaylee has expressed her fear that Alissa will change and not have time for her younger cousin.  So we are talking about all this and getting her focused on school right now.

(Alissa and Kaylee decided to high light their hair together last weekend... So I thought this picture was good.  Alex hates her hair (she didn't ask either so that is a point he is stuck on too) and I am getting use to it now, but would say maybe less is more next time.)  The bummer about this is that I was working up the nerve to start getting him ready for me cutting my hair short... I did that right after our honeymoon and he has NEVER let me since.  So I have had long hair for 18 years and I want to try short in the worst way.  Now I have to wait, he can't take too many hair changes close together.. Poor guy.  


I got a phone call last week asking if I would throw one of the two baby showers that need to happen in the next three months.... I SAID NO!!!   :0)   The two new brides will be welcoming new little ones in late September and December (Maybe January).  But I am laying low and told them I would be there with bells on, but I am not up to hosting anything else this year.  All the holidays have been decided and I am not hosting anything!  I have heard some grumblings around the family that now that I am retired why shouldn't I help....  Really??  Lori went to bat for me and gave those young ladies a good talking, but knowing them it won't change anything.  They need communicated from the bottom end for anything to sink in, but that is just my humble opinion.  I am trying to remember they are young and have no idea what being a parent, running a home and working full time is all about.  Only then will they understand what a nightmare they put in my lap back in February this year with their weddings. Plus we had just MOVED... Twice really since we helped Lori and Jay move too!  Ugh.. Ok, sorry venting over.  Guess maybe they got to me more than I wanted to admit to myself.  Grrrrrr.

So every year Alex's assistant takes a 3 week vacation and usually he gets a temp to help while she is gone.  Well I have been taking her place this time and working with Alex has been.... KINKY.  HA!  We have had lots of fun in his office, the copy/service room (lots of servicing that day) and we even had a few moments in the parking garage.  (So hoping the security cameras didn't pick any of that up) Probably a good thing we don't work together all the time or the man would never get anything done. He is now two weeks behind schedule, which is the exact amount of time I have been "helping".  I only went in for a few hours but still, I was told maybe this week he would just wing it.   Sigh... FINE!  No, all joking aside I totally enjoyed it but can see that I was not being helpful in the right way.  (He did bring his ruler home, he said after all the use it got the last few weeks it just doesn't seem to belong in his office anymore.) :0)

I do have some bad news to share... Ugh.  I did in fact get pulled over last Friday for speeding and got a ticket that actually said "Speeding" this time.  So I didn't have a wonderful weekend to say the least and I am not to drive until further notice.  Do you have any idea how much I drive around???  Neither did I until I couldn't!!!  Oh my goodness, I am soooooo ready to follow the speed signs and anything else just to get back on the roads again and it hasn't even been a week... Ugh.   For all of you following this blog, no it wasn't on the same street as earlier this year.  I was actually on a freeway and it was truly scary and I prayed the entire time no one would run into us while stopped on the side.  Alex also wants to get me a different vehicle, says bigger is better where I am concerned.  Not sure I agree, as all I ever seem to do is hit things with my tires... I don't know one curb that I haven't at some point taken out around here.. Sigh.  My tires are rogue, not me...  :0)

Pride before spiders...

I was minding my own business cleaning up the kitchen yesterday afternoon, singing my heart out to the counter top along with my Pandora. (I turn this app on and let it play most the day, really like music in the background.)  My son had left a bag of tortilla chips that was all but gone, so I went to pick it up and a HUGE  (I am talking army boot wearing, hair raising and ugly jumping) spider jumps up and out at me!!!  It seriously jumped straight up and then flew right at me and I was just able to well of course let out a very loud girlie scream as I jumped back away to safety.  The spider lands right at my feet and then I run screaming with dish towel in hand for the closest furniture to climb up.     Kaylee came running downstairs at the sound of my screams and sees the spider jumping around the floor and she in turn screams and jumps up on the kitchen chair next to me.   Now we are both watching this big spider (seriously, it was huge!!) jump and then turn and run straight for the kitchen cabinets and disappears.  We both just gasped as it happened and just stand there watching the empty space like it will return any moment...

So after a few minutes I couldn't help it, I just started laughing... I am talking stomach deep chuckles and can't believe I am up on a chair with my teenage daughter right next to me.  She started to laugh too and it took us forever to stop, it just seemed super funny.  Eventually we got down and put the chairs back up to the table and Kaylee said we should NEVER tell anyone (Oh I am sorry this is sooooo going on my blog) as we would never live it down.  I am not big on bugs... AT ALL!!   When we moved I had to get comfortable with the idea that more bugs would be involved in our day to day as we are now out in the desert that hasn't been developed at all.   (We have had two rattle snakes removed from our backyard so far, which Kaylee enjoys since our local firemen do that for us...)  Last week Alex killed two scorpions inside the house, so we are actually thinking a cat would be nice.  But not nice enough to sway Alex to let another four legged critter into the house... Sigh..

The next question was how to finish cleaning my kitchen with this crazy huge combat boot wearing spider in my cabinets just waiting to eat me...  (See, don't do bugs!!)   Kaylee has decided we are in this together and suggests that we get the broom and poke at the under part of the cabinets to spook it out.  That is a great idea honey, but what exactly would you like us to do once said spider is spooked and runs at us????   Will you be killing it then? Hmmmmm? Yeah, she didn't really think that through very much..   So in the end we decided the kitchen looked pretty darn good and Alex could do the protector thing of hunting the spider and removing it when he got home.  With that decided we went to the game closet and brought enough board games to entertain us while we watched the kitchen for huge angry spiders until Alex came home.  So we sat at the kitchen table with our feet up on chairs for the next two hours until Alex came home and found us.  We explained the entire situation to him in great fashion with screams and all and he rolled his eyes and said and I quote ladies around the world.... "Females!" and went upstairs to change.   (Oh don't worry, either the spider was a female and decided revenge was in order or maybe even karma kicked him in the butt later)

Alex came back down about ten minutes later and starts to poke around the cabinets we pointed at and we watched from the safety of the kitchen table.   NOTHING!!!  He even opened the cabinet and took all the pans out and went to the next cabinet and took all my tupperware out... NOTHING!!!  So then he decides we have lost our minds and is telling us so as he puts each and every item back and closes the cabinet doors... He turns around to make further fun of us and BOOM the darn thing comes out from the cabinet he had just gone through and he seriously jumps right at Alex!!  I have never seen Alex move so fast... He literally juggled the spider because it flew up at him and he pretty much caught the thing only to throw it at the wall and he ran and jumped .... Yes my fellow females, he is now on top of the kitchen table... Not in a chair with us, but the man has jumped on top of my table!  He didn't stay long, he jumped down and grabbed the broom and killed the spider.  But I would have loved to have a picture of the manly man on top of  my kitchen table, especially after he delivered his eye rolling female statement earlier.  

Yeah, we ordered pizza and Alex decided that Kyle doesn't need to know about the spider encounter.  Kaylee very sweetly asked if that was because he didn't want Kyle to know he can jump on top of the kitchen table in two seconds flat when a huge spider jumps his way.   (I lover her!!)  She got slid a twenty and will be going to the mall today I am sure!   What Kyle doesn't know can't hurt anyone else's pride!!   But my blog land friends can sure have a great chuckle...

Forget Private... HELLO PUBLIC!

I am VERY happy to say....

After much debate (You don't even want to know how much talking this took!! Ugh..) it was decided that with added caution I can stay public.   

Basically it came down to not letting one bad apple spoil the entire apple cart experience!  

It also didn't hurt that everyone in this amazing community pulled together and put some VERY heart felt comments on each others blogs.  That went a VERY long way in helping me talk Alex around and in the end Jay actually helped me too.. I know shocking right?  He got a huge bear hug from me and his favorite brownies (I don't bake unless forced, so he knows how much this meant to me...) for his efforts.  

So what has been happening the last couple of weeks (other than all our debating that is)...  My son just started his Senior year in High School this morning.  I took a billion pictures to document it!  He did actually look at me for one or two...  :0)   My daughter has decided to try online school and doesn't start until next week, so she had to make faces at him this morning while laying around in her PJs.  That was also well documented with pictures... (He didn't find any of it amusing!)   Once he was out the door she went right back up to bed and has yet to surface and it's after 11am here.. Sigh.   Teenagers!    

We are down two puppies... They now live next door, so we see them all the time.  It was super hard to watch them go and we miss them, but not the mess they kept creating daily (hourly).  Plus we were having (sorry this might be TMI) doggie duty issues... Like the little guys kept eating the older dogs droppings.  Ick!  The vet said it was normal and they would out grow it and gave us some thoughts on helping the situation along... But then they started rolling in each others duty and that was my limit!!  I still buy them toys and take them over to play and see them and we have new friends that are super nice.  Jack was happy to see the puppies come and he was happy to see them go as well.  He has totally adapted back to being the one and only four legged critter in the house.  He does slip through the gate to the neighbors to play but he always has the option to come home and leave them behind.  

Our lives have always been pretty crazy busy so we never really made friends with our neighbors and now we feel super bad about that...  They reached out to us and opened that door to start the communication (after our kids kept them up all night too... plus our monster dog had eaten all her roses and they still liked us!!) and we are so VERY grateful.  

Let's see what else... 

I am still messing around with new recipes and cooking tools.. I just got a Wok last week for my birthday, so am trying to figure out what I am going to make in it first.  I was told to use peanut oil, but am trying to decide if another oil would be healthier...  My kids are scared, but they eat out more now then ever before since they are working.  So Alex is the only one that will need to suffer through my experiments.  :0)  I will more than likely cook two meals so he has a back up while we find out what works or doesn't.  He is a big guy after all and his go to solution for hunger is a frozen pizza, so I have to have healthy back up or the man will literally turn into a pizza.   

For the most part I have been able to avoid any real trouble the last few weeks... We did have a key situation last week that didn't end very well, but we have figured it out now.  The opposites attract thing doesn't always help when two people are so VERY different in keeping track of objects... My every place has its thing and every thing has its place just doesn't work for him.  But I have hung decorative key racks by EVERY door on the inside now, so no more problem... Until he loses all the keys hanging from said key racks anyway...  (Love you babe!!)  Other than that and the blogging topic we have had a really quiet few weeks here, which is very unusual...BUT SUPER NICE!!!

Anyway, so happy to be back!