Pride before spiders...

I was minding my own business cleaning up the kitchen yesterday afternoon, singing my heart out to the counter top along with my Pandora. (I turn this app on and let it play most the day, really like music in the background.)  My son had left a bag of tortilla chips that was all but gone, so I went to pick it up and a HUGE  (I am talking army boot wearing, hair raising and ugly jumping) spider jumps up and out at me!!!  It seriously jumped straight up and then flew right at me and I was just able to well of course let out a very loud girlie scream as I jumped back away to safety.  The spider lands right at my feet and then I run screaming with dish towel in hand for the closest furniture to climb up.     Kaylee came running downstairs at the sound of my screams and sees the spider jumping around the floor and she in turn screams and jumps up on the kitchen chair next to me.   Now we are both watching this big spider (seriously, it was huge!!) jump and then turn and run straight for the kitchen cabinets and disappears.  We both just gasped as it happened and just stand there watching the empty space like it will return any moment...

So after a few minutes I couldn't help it, I just started laughing... I am talking stomach deep chuckles and can't believe I am up on a chair with my teenage daughter right next to me.  She started to laugh too and it took us forever to stop, it just seemed super funny.  Eventually we got down and put the chairs back up to the table and Kaylee said we should NEVER tell anyone (Oh I am sorry this is sooooo going on my blog) as we would never live it down.  I am not big on bugs... AT ALL!!   When we moved I had to get comfortable with the idea that more bugs would be involved in our day to day as we are now out in the desert that hasn't been developed at all.   (We have had two rattle snakes removed from our backyard so far, which Kaylee enjoys since our local firemen do that for us...)  Last week Alex killed two scorpions inside the house, so we are actually thinking a cat would be nice.  But not nice enough to sway Alex to let another four legged critter into the house... Sigh..

The next question was how to finish cleaning my kitchen with this crazy huge combat boot wearing spider in my cabinets just waiting to eat me...  (See, don't do bugs!!)   Kaylee has decided we are in this together and suggests that we get the broom and poke at the under part of the cabinets to spook it out.  That is a great idea honey, but what exactly would you like us to do once said spider is spooked and runs at us????   Will you be killing it then? Hmmmmm? Yeah, she didn't really think that through very much..   So in the end we decided the kitchen looked pretty darn good and Alex could do the protector thing of hunting the spider and removing it when he got home.  With that decided we went to the game closet and brought enough board games to entertain us while we watched the kitchen for huge angry spiders until Alex came home.  So we sat at the kitchen table with our feet up on chairs for the next two hours until Alex came home and found us.  We explained the entire situation to him in great fashion with screams and all and he rolled his eyes and said and I quote ladies around the world.... "Females!" and went upstairs to change.   (Oh don't worry, either the spider was a female and decided revenge was in order or maybe even karma kicked him in the butt later)

Alex came back down about ten minutes later and starts to poke around the cabinets we pointed at and we watched from the safety of the kitchen table.   NOTHING!!!  He even opened the cabinet and took all the pans out and went to the next cabinet and took all my tupperware out... NOTHING!!!  So then he decides we have lost our minds and is telling us so as he puts each and every item back and closes the cabinet doors... He turns around to make further fun of us and BOOM the darn thing comes out from the cabinet he had just gone through and he seriously jumps right at Alex!!  I have never seen Alex move so fast... He literally juggled the spider because it flew up at him and he pretty much caught the thing only to throw it at the wall and he ran and jumped .... Yes my fellow females, he is now on top of the kitchen table... Not in a chair with us, but the man has jumped on top of my table!  He didn't stay long, he jumped down and grabbed the broom and killed the spider.  But I would have loved to have a picture of the manly man on top of  my kitchen table, especially after he delivered his eye rolling female statement earlier.  

Yeah, we ordered pizza and Alex decided that Kyle doesn't need to know about the spider encounter.  Kaylee very sweetly asked if that was because he didn't want Kyle to know he can jump on top of the kitchen table in two seconds flat when a huge spider jumps his way.   (I lover her!!)  She got slid a twenty and will be going to the mall today I am sure!   What Kyle doesn't know can't hurt anyone else's pride!!   But my blog land friends can sure have a great chuckle...