Thursday, August 7, 2014

Pride before spiders...

I was minding my own business cleaning up the kitchen yesterday afternoon, singing my heart out to the counter top along with my Pandora. (I turn this app on and let it play most the day, really like music in the background.)  My son had left a bag of tortilla chips that was all but gone, so I went to pick it up and a HUGE  (I am talking army boot wearing, hair raising and ugly jumping) spider jumps up and out at me!!!  It seriously jumped straight up and then flew right at me and I was just able to well of course let out a very loud girlie scream as I jumped back away to safety.  The spider lands right at my feet and then I run screaming with dish towel in hand for the closest furniture to climb up.     Kaylee came running downstairs at the sound of my screams and sees the spider jumping around the floor and she in turn screams and jumps up on the kitchen chair next to me.   Now we are both watching this big spider (seriously, it was huge!!) jump and then turn and run straight for the kitchen cabinets and disappears.  We both just gasped as it happened and just stand there watching the empty space like it will return any moment...

So after a few minutes I couldn't help it, I just started laughing... I am talking stomach deep chuckles and can't believe I am up on a chair with my teenage daughter right next to me.  She started to laugh too and it took us forever to stop, it just seemed super funny.  Eventually we got down and put the chairs back up to the table and Kaylee said we should NEVER tell anyone (Oh I am sorry this is sooooo going on my blog) as we would never live it down.  I am not big on bugs... AT ALL!!   When we moved I had to get comfortable with the idea that more bugs would be involved in our day to day as we are now out in the desert that hasn't been developed at all.   (We have had two rattle snakes removed from our backyard so far, which Kaylee enjoys since our local firemen do that for us...)  Last week Alex killed two scorpions inside the house, so we are actually thinking a cat would be nice.  But not nice enough to sway Alex to let another four legged critter into the house... Sigh..

The next question was how to finish cleaning my kitchen with this crazy huge combat boot wearing spider in my cabinets just waiting to eat me...  (See, don't do bugs!!)   Kaylee has decided we are in this together and suggests that we get the broom and poke at the under part of the cabinets to spook it out.  That is a great idea honey, but what exactly would you like us to do once said spider is spooked and runs at us????   Will you be killing it then? Hmmmmm? Yeah, she didn't really think that through very much..   So in the end we decided the kitchen looked pretty darn good and Alex could do the protector thing of hunting the spider and removing it when he got home.  With that decided we went to the game closet and brought enough board games to entertain us while we watched the kitchen for huge angry spiders until Alex came home.  So we sat at the kitchen table with our feet up on chairs for the next two hours until Alex came home and found us.  We explained the entire situation to him in great fashion with screams and all and he rolled his eyes and said and I quote ladies around the world.... "Females!" and went upstairs to change.   (Oh don't worry, either the spider was a female and decided revenge was in order or maybe even karma kicked him in the butt later)

Alex came back down about ten minutes later and starts to poke around the cabinets we pointed at and we watched from the safety of the kitchen table.   NOTHING!!!  He even opened the cabinet and took all the pans out and went to the next cabinet and took all my tupperware out... NOTHING!!!  So then he decides we have lost our minds and is telling us so as he puts each and every item back and closes the cabinet doors... He turns around to make further fun of us and BOOM the darn thing comes out from the cabinet he had just gone through and he seriously jumps right at Alex!!  I have never seen Alex move so fast... He literally juggled the spider because it flew up at him and he pretty much caught the thing only to throw it at the wall and he ran and jumped .... Yes my fellow females, he is now on top of the kitchen table... Not in a chair with us, but the man has jumped on top of my table!  He didn't stay long, he jumped down and grabbed the broom and killed the spider.  But I would have loved to have a picture of the manly man on top of  my kitchen table, especially after he delivered his eye rolling female statement earlier.  

Yeah, we ordered pizza and Alex decided that Kyle doesn't need to know about the spider encounter.  Kaylee very sweetly asked if that was because he didn't want Kyle to know he can jump on top of the kitchen table in two seconds flat when a huge spider jumps his way.   (I lover her!!)  She got slid a twenty and will be going to the mall today I am sure!   What Kyle doesn't know can't hurt anyone else's pride!!   But my blog land friends can sure have a great chuckle...

11 comments:

  1. That is hysterical and I love the bribe. I hate spiders too.

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    1. Hi Leigh,

      Glad you got a laugh! Alex has already called this afternoon upset that it is PUBLIC knowledge now... I told him he forgot to slip me a twenty too! HA!

      Hugs,
      Irish Lucky

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  2. ROFLMBO at all of you! Sheesh...I can understand being startled when something big jumps out at you but then once you see it...you stomp the snot out of it! I am very good at killing spiders...have put a few holes in the walls while smashing spiders with my heels! :D Oh and FYI...spiders hate peppermint oil! ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat,

      I know, it is very sad and we are all bigger than the spider but yet knowing that and bravely stomping the snot out of it.... I CAN'T DO IT! :0)

      Honestly, moths make me run the other way if that tells you just how bug challenged I am... Ugh.

      So spiders hate peppermint oil huh... Guess who is going to invest in the LARGEST container she can find? Oh yeah, that would be me.

      Hugs,
      Irish Lucky

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  3. YES!!! And I am so glad you are back.. and I do NOT do spiders.. or critters... Yeah.. that is Karma right there... I giggled... and giggled...

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    1. Hi Dana,

      So very happy to be back! :0)

      Oh good another NO BUG lady... I swear it felt like bugs were crawling on me for hours after this all went down. Glad you got a laugh! Karma can be really fun to watch, unless it's biting me in the butt... Then not so fun. :0)

      Hugs,
      Irish Lucky

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  4. Hey, he was retreating to plan his attack! How crazy to have a spider jump into your hand so you end up juggling it. Smart man!

    And absolutely hilarious story :-). That will be a fun one to tell forever. That $20 is going to buy only so much time....

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    1. You should have seen him washing his hands after it was all over... I had that "thing" in my hands, can't imagine all the places it's been. Then two minutes later he is back washing his hands again. HA... Guess he imagined himself into another washing. Yeah, the twenty didn't really work for him either. My sister in law read the post who then told her husband which is Alex's brother... So you can guess at the jokes going around the family.. Next time he might want to slip me a twenty as well and just maybe... maybe... it wouldn't of ended up on my blog. (Yeah, who am I kidding it was totally going on my blog no matter what!) :0)

      Hugs,
      Irish Lucky

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  5. Oh, I am soooo not a bug person, at all!!! But jumping attack spiders? Rattle snakes in the back yard? Scorpions INSIDE the house? It's time to move. Like, today! Alex, move your family again. (I'm kidding.........sort of.) :)
    Irish, I'm so sorry. That is just plain awful!
    Just today I was walking into a building and I had my hand on the door. I felt this movement under my finger. It was a spider!!!! I took my flip flop off and beat it many times. That was a couple of hours ago. I can still feel it under my finger. It's gross, just gross I tell you and it wasn't wearing combat boots. Move, that's the only answer. Wait, get rid of the cleaning lady and have an exterminator come instead. That's the only solution to staying there. (I said all of is dripping with sarcasm and a smile on my face.)

    This was a great post hat had me and my hubs laughing!!!

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    1. Hi Sarah,

      Alex and I had a great laugh reading your comment! :0) Yes, we are in bugville out here and it's going to take me some time to adjust. We have put salt all around the house, as all the sprays are not good for our dog. Even some of the pest people have come right out and said as much, so we decided to try the salt route for now. My parents are coming for a visit next month and I swear my Mom is freaking out already. Ugh. :0)

      Hugs,
      Irish Lucky

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    2. I just read on FB that if you mix Peppermint Essential Oil with water in a spray bottle - that will ward off critters. You could google that and find out exactly what the mixture is. Good luck with that. :)
      (PS I'm glad you had a good laugh reading my comment. It was meant to be funny. :)
      ~Sarah

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