Happy Birthday Alex!!

I know your morning was super hard, seeing your eyes fill at knowing the phone call that wakes us every year was not coming...   Your parents are smiling down on you today and everyday, I just bet your mom was singing you Happy Birthday at the top of her lungs this morning waking up all of heaven instead.   :0)

You are the love of my life, the rock that I cling onto and the voice of reason in my world of insanity.  It was a blessing to grow up with another big brother type, then move into the annoyance type and then plummet into the great love of my life.   I cherish all our memories from childhood into adulthood and now parenthood.

I am simply blessed for being your woman and for you being my man.

P.S. - I can explain about the cake, it will still taste wonderful I promise!!

P.S.S - The garage door is totally fixable, or so my dad is telling me...  Love you bunches!  :0)

P.S.S.S. - Do you like Twinkies by chance?  Maybe I can make you some too...

The flask...

I told you all about my last adventure with Lori at the airport and due to her being on bed rest at the moment she wasn't able to go with me yesterday to pick up my parents.  I was poking fun at her on the phone en route to the airport that I would be lonely and bored without her to get me into any trouble with security.  She found the humor in it after all these months, but just barely as she is still sore about it.  Honestly I was just a bit bummed to have to make this trip alone, but was super excited to see my parents.  Well I guess the airport is the one place I don't have to worry about being alone or bored in, as I just bring the fun by showing up!  :0)  I had my very own little adventure that I thought to share...

My parents just flew in for the holidays and I went to the airport to pick them up, I was hoping to drag Kaylee along with me but she had a class to attend.  Sigh.  Even online school doesn't work 100% of the time with our schedule, but she is doing so much better now so not going to complain.  I am usually late in just about everything I do, not sure why as one point in my life I was the one that was constantly 10 minutes early.  I mean I don't even have a job to blame things on anymore either, so you would think I could get my act together and be on time or early.. Sigh. But by some strange doing yesterday I was thirty minutes early and had to sit myself down and entertain myself until they arrived.  Not thinking about the money free guarantee of people watching being my solution, I went into one of the shops and bought a magazine to look through while waiting.  Um... Has anyone else noticed just how expensive every thing is in those airport shops these days?  I mean they kinda have you at this point if you are traveling or picking up a traveler and you want or need something right then, you are going to pay the price right!  Ugh.   So after finding the one and only magazine with people in it that didn't have Kim K. plastered on it... (I am so over her and all the naked things she shares with the public! )  I NEVER indulge in these magazines and so I was like why not, I am wasting time and now brain cells to boot... Fun stuff.

Now I have my magazine and well hey now that Star Bucks cart (Alex outlawed Star Bucks years ago when I sort of went on a coffee bender and the center of it was Star Bucks.  But this was just one and out of the norm and darn it all I was early so a reward was really necessary right!?!) is right next to the seats I was aiming for so that is just fate...  Now I have my whipped cream and some carmel coffee in the bottom some place cup of joy and my gossip magazine clutched in the other hand and found the perfect seat away from anyone else... Germs you know.  :0)   I sit myself down and get my first sip of pure joy and that is when I noticed a group of women jabbering a million miles per hour and all but running over anyone that got in their path.  They all had to be in there late sixties or early seventies and they were all decked out and each pulled a roller bag behind (around, to the side, over unsuspecting people that got too close.. they were all over the place.) and they took over the hall until they decide to park themselves right across from me.   So now I am counting silver heads and come up with eight women in all and they took the entire row in front of me and two seats on my side.

I had every intention of reading my gossip magazine and let them carry on, but I swear they were having none of that.   Even with my purse on my lap and me quickly opening my magazine to look like I was not listening or acknowledging their presence saved me...  The ring leader Betty was on me in a heart beat....

Betty: "Well now how is it a young (oh bless her heart) lady like yourself is sitting all alone in the airport at this time of day?"

Innocent question but I was shocked that she was asking me while she was surrounded by a crew of her friends and I was just trying to blend.

Me: " I came to pick up my parents, they flew in for the holidays and I actually found myself early and without anything to do for thirty minutes.  So I got myself a magazine and coffee to pass the time and a seat away from the crowd. "  (Ooops, maybe the last part was not very nice but it was the truth.)

Betty: "Oh well never fear we are here so you will have plenty to occupy your time until your parents arrive.  Isn't that right ladies?"

At this point I was thinking oh my goodness I am out numbered but hey they looked fun so just go with it and see.   If I only knew at that point what I was getting wrapped up in...

There was a chorus of "sure" and "of course Betty" that followed her question and one of the ladies on my side of the bench slid down and asked if I would like a little extra "something special" to add to my coffee.  She had a flask (I kid you not!!!) in her hand and a huge smile on her face.

Me:"Oh well...that is very kind but I think maybe I should just keep my coffee simple today." (Yes because I often put special stuff in my coffee on a daily basis...I am so square some times.)

She patted my hand and said that was fine and if I changed my mind she wouldn't be too far to ask.

Me:"So where are you all heading today?"

Betty:"Well now we are all off for some sun and the beach down in Mexico, we go every year just around this time.  We take over a part of the beach for a week and show the young folks how to have some fun."

Now while she was stating the last part I got a bunch of giggles and cackles from the other ladies shaking their heads to agree. One of them pulled out a brochure of the hotel they were going to stay at and showed me a picture of the beach they take over every year.  A sweet little lady at the end with a really strange hat said they had their eye on another hotel just down the way and if they liked what they saw this time around they might move down to the other hotel next year.

Me:"So what do you all do with your men while you go off to Mexico every year together?"

The faces and noises made at my question should have told me I was just asking the WRONG question to this group.  But the leader of the gang was the only one to verbally respond with words.

Betty: "Well now why in the world would we want to bother with men for?  We have spent several decades without one of them messing up our group, we are just fine to stay without."

I got a few "amens" and "you tell it sister" (oh I am totally serious!) from the group following her comment.

Strange hat lady: "Do you have one of those running around making your life harder for you dear?"

Me:"Well yes in fact I do have a rather large one running around making my life more interesting. But I love him so the interesting just comes along with the total package is my thought."

That made them all think for a second and then laugh but the Betty lady wasn't having it.

Betty: "How long you been with this fellow?"  She slid so she was now sitting straight in her seat and getting to business.  I swear all the other ladies did the same after seeing her get into "serious talk position".

So now a bit nervous....

Me:"Well we actually grew up about a block from each other and his brother was my best friend growing up.  We started actually liking each other in my late teens and we got married when I was 19, so we have been together for a pretty long time now."

Strange hat lady: "Hmmm.. got her young is what he did... And you say you love him? Humph, does he have a job?"  (Oh she clearly humphed, I heard it loud and clear!)

Me:"Yes he owns his own company and does very well for us."

Betty:"Is he bossy? Does he love to tell ya how things are and how you should be doing them?  My Stan did that and about drove me to my grave until he beat me there.  I tell ya that man took several years off this life of mine before I get loose from him.  Rest is poor, sad self and soul."

Three women made the cross sign following this sentence from their leader and they all were shaking their heads sadly.  All I could think is how sad this all seemed, that all of these women were so down on men.  Poor Stan!

Flask lady: "Do you have kids honey?"

Me:"Yes, we have two.. My son is a senior in high school and my daughter is a freshman in high school".

One of the women on the end with a blue sweat suit that had bling up and down the legs decided since I raised two kids with him he might be a keeper.  But the rest of the group hushed her and rolled there eyes and turned back to Betty waiting for her next move.

Now I am not usually slow on the uptake about things, honestly I pride myself on being observant so how I missed some really good clues into what these women were all about is beyond me.  Maybe it was the sugar high that I was riding because that carmel whipped deal I was drinking was kicking in and I was shaking a bit so put the cup down to breath a bit.  (See I was out of practice and my body didn't know how to deal with the sugary fun of Star Bucks anymore! It's a sad thing for sure!) My parents finally arrived and came down the gateway so I started to pull myself together and they managed to reach me before this clutch of ladies was done with me it would seem.  As I stood so did they and before I could move they were all moving forward towards my parents with the ring leader reaching them first.

Betty:"So you must be the parents this one has been waiting for!  Well don't you fret we kept her good company while you were getting here."

My parents took in my face and the situation and bless their hearts went with it but my Dad was pretty smooth in getting us moved along to get their luggage.  It was when we were down at the luggage return waiting for the turning wheel to start it's job and bringing the luggage out that my Dad asked how I got into a circle of old women of "that nature".  My eyebrows shot up and I said of "that nature"?  Daddy they are just a group of older women that have lost men over the years and take trips to Mexico together every year.  My parents just looked at each other and back at me with blank faces and I continued that maybe the one with the flask was a bit scary but that they were nice women to keep me company while I was waiting.

Dad:"Honey did you notice the two that were holding hands by chance?  You do know what wearing those rainbow colors means to some people right?"

Me:"Oh Daddy, they are sweet old women who have been married and lost their men... Betty said her husband passed, so see she was married and not what you are thinking.  I know what the rainbow these days means and they are not a group of lesbians going to take over a beach in Mexico!"

Mom:"Is Betty the one with the flask?  Oh honey tell me you didn't drink anything they had in a flask!"

Me:"No Mom, I promise that nothing offered to me in a flask will pass my lips even while being offered up by a sweet little old lady."

Alex decided to call me just then so I answered and let him know that my parents made it just fine and we were at baggage claim waiting for their luggage to appear.  My Mom said to tell him I was not lonely and to tell him about the lady with the flask.  (Why do parents pretend to whisper things but in an even higher tone then they use to speak normally?)  So of course Alex heard every word she said and of course wanted to know all about the lady with the flask.  I told him it wasn't anything and I would fill him in at home when I saw him and that the magic luggage return wheel was now in motion so we needed to go.  Whew, that was the LAST conversation I wanted to have at that moment so was happy to skip over it.

Skip ahead to the dinner table last night....

As it was my parents first night with us the kids both made sure they were home for a nice sit down dinner, so we were all together.  We were just finishing up our meals and my Dad wanted to know what Alex thought of the nice women keeping his wife company at the airport earlier today.  I could have picked up my ice water and gladly dumped it down the front of him.  He soooooo knew what he was doing by bringing that subject up.  Grrrrrrrr..  My old man, I love him dearly.. Truly I do!  But he has always had the old fashion idea in his head that we women need a man to provide for us and protect us from EVERYTHING.  My Mom was not allowed to work outside of the home and to this day she waits to do her errands and shopping for him to be with her.  So it was just killing my Dad to see that I am still let to run what he considers wild, without Alex protecting me from myself and others in the world out to get me or any other women not protected by a man.  Sigh and double sigh.  So now everyone at the table wants to know about the women who kept me company at the airport.

Well fine then, I can get through this... Two can play at this little game old man, you are on!  :0)

Me:"I was at the airport early..."

Kaylee: "What did you just say.... early?  Like you were at a place before the time you needed to be there early?"  (Yes the smiling teenager was taking her moment to poke at me in revenge for all the times I am late taking her or picking her up.. FINE!  Grrrrr .. Just you wait my little pretty, I will get you and that monster puppy of yours too!  Jack was suppose to be her puppy, but he latched on to me and never looked back.  Which to be honest I am just VERY happy about, he is great to cuddle with and keeps my feet warm when I let him sneak up on the bed. HA!)

Alex:"Now Kaylee, as much as I like to hear your Mother was early we don't want to make it sound bad or she won't try to make it happen again."  (Ok, is it open season on me and I didn't get the notice?)

Me:"Why thank you my charming prince for so kindly coming to my rescue.  Kaylee button it!  Now where was I...  Oh yes, I was early! (I pause and make meaningful faces to those that might have taken a second shot at me to let them know it would not go well for them.)  So I decided to get a magazine and sit down to read to pass the time.   Once I got a magazine and found a nice quiet spot without anyone around I found a seat and attempted to read the magazine only to be taken hostage by a group of older women who were waiting for their flight I guess.   (Now that I am relaying the story back it occurred to me that if they were traveling why were they on my side of the gates and not on the side the actual flights leave from... Hmmmm.) They were a curious bunch of silver haired women that were traveling to Mexico to lay on the beach for the week."

Kyle:"Do old women actually layout on beaches?"

Kaylee:"Not like you are thinking, they probably bring hats that size of the state of Texas and put layers of sun block on and cover themselves from head to toe anyway but sit in chairs and read books all day."

My thoughts were ... Not this group of women!

Mom:"I am older and I still like to lay out and get some sun thank you very much and I don't even own a hat either!"

Dad:"Do you think your group of women are wearing hats and reading on the beach honey?"

He had just enough glean in his eye and smile on his face that my ice water was just screaming to be used in anyway I felt necessary...  Grrrrr...

Me:"No Daddy I don't feel like this particular group is hiding under hats and reading books on the beach.  They did have more spunk to them than that and they had experience from years of doing this outing obviously. But that doesn't mean I think they are in Mexico storming the beach and scaring little children either."

So I started to relay the conversation with Betty and told them about poor, sad and bless his soul Stan.  

Kyle:"Mom, these women sound a bit scary to me.  How long were you hanging out with them?"

Mom:"Oh honey she hasn't even gotten to the one with the flask either."

She was just so quick to get that sentence out there that I secretly wondered if she was on my father's side in all this! Who you trying to fool mommy dearest that innocent and helpful look is so NOT working...  :0(

Alex:"Excuse me, did you just say flask?"  (Now he is looking directly at me, even though his question was clearly to my smiling mother on the other end of the table.. Yeah, that distance would be just great right about now!)

Me:"Well now you heard a bit about the flask on the phone earlier and I will tell you as I did earlier that it wasn't a big deal.  This nice little old woman had a flask that she was willing to share something special from with me and my coffee."

Kaylee:"Ohhhhhh.. You had Star Bucks without me?  I saw the receipt but just knew you would never do that to me.. But you did!  Did you see what was in her flask?"

Alex was really interested in this conversation now and at the mention of Star Bucks his right hand started to rub his leg, which we all know means his hand is just tickling to spank me for some reason or another.. Just not a great start for me!

Me:"It was one cup of coffee after years of not having a drop of Star Bucks and I was early which deserved a reward of some sort.  (This was all said looking directly at my husband and his itchy hand.)  No young lady I did NOT see or taste any of what was special in that flask and NEVER would from a stranger no matter what they look like.  Your face and enthusiasm for wanting to know does scare me a bit though..." (This was said to the all but bouncing teenager who all but rolled her eyes out of her head at my response.)

Alex:"Stop rolling your eyes at your mother and don't ever even say the word flask with me in ear shot kiddo if you ever want to see the out doors again.  Why exactly where you hanging out with this group of women again?"

Me:"Hey I wasn't hanging with them, they decided to hang with me!  I was there first, minding my own business thank you very much just trying to get a sugar and gossip high while waiting for my parents to show up.  I am the victim here people, they came to me... They spoke to me!  They came at me with the scary little flask and now my Daddy is going to try and tell you they were all lesbians too and they couldn't be as they were married!

(I was starting to lose it a bit, this was just getting out of hand and I just knew Alex was going to want to "discuss" a few things and my parent have just gotten her for a stay of several months.  So I didn't want our first night to end early with us going upstairs and being a big deal.)

I think my Mom noticed that I was not liking the conversation so she decided to try and help me out.

Mom:"Oh now sweetie it's alright, you know these men just worry and the rainbow means many things so we just won't worry about this anymore."

Kyle:"Um... Grandma, what do you mean rainbows can mean many things?"

Me:"They are grandparents Kyle, but are tuned into the current culture, they know what the rainbows can stand for and in this case these women were just colorful."

Kaylee:"Yeah older women do tend to wear more colors!  They even wear bold colors that most of us wouldn't dream of trying to carry off too..  I can't wait until I am older, I plan on wearing the most outrageous outfits I can find.  No one will say anything, they just pass it off as being old enough to do what you want."

Kyle:"Dude, you were hanging out with flask carrying lesbians going to Mexico to lay on the beach for a week!  Wow mom, you really  know how to get out there and mingle."

He was laughing and thinking he was just too funny... All I could think is you are not out of this house yet son and I bet given long enough I can find a way to seek revenge.

Kaylee:"Well that explains the brochure stuck in the magazine with the LGBT events all circled on the back."

That got the entire table's attention and all of us said "WHAT?" at the same time...

Kaylee is the typical teenager that will pick things up and disappear with them moments after you sat them down.  She had seen the gossip magazine and ran for her room and found the Mexico brochure that I must have gotten stuck with, I honestly have no recollection of sticking it in my magazine. (which I still hadn't read one word of by the way...)  When the lady had shown me the beach pictures and the hotel those items were all in the front and middle of the brochure but sure enough the back of the brochure was all about the week long LGBT conference they were hosting and all the events for the week were lined out.  Kaylee ran up to her room and grabbed the brochure and brought it back down so we could all see what she was explaining.

So there you have it.. I had hung out with a bunch of older lesbians that didn't need nor want men messing with them and their group and just wanted to hang out in Mexico and take over a beach.  My father was gloating very openly at the end of the table mumbling something about know what rainbows meant.  I was thinking he and Stan would more than likely have gotten along.  Alex was staring at me in what I like to think as amazement, because I don't go looking for interesting it just seems to find me and makes his life therefor just as interesting.  My kids were doing the high five thing over the table and saying they just didn't know I had it in me.  (What?)  So the only one left to look at was my mom.. She looked confused but looked at me and said: "I now really would LOVE to know... What exactly was special and in that flask?"

If you are wondering if Alex and his itchy hand got over the Star Bucks thing... Yes and my bottom didn't take the fall out either, well not in the way you are thinking any way.... I was up all night with major stomach issues so I am pretty sure that lovely sugary drink will be my LAST!  Ugh.

My mother is now down the street catching up with Lori's mom and seeing how she can be of help.  My father has drug Kaylee out in the backyard with a measuring tape as he has declared we need a green house.  Kyle zoomed out of here after killing three stacks of my mom's famous chocolate chip pancakes, so he was a happy guy.   I am about to call Alex and inform him that we will have a green house by the time my parents leave and hopefully he hid all his tools he didn't want my dad to break. The next couple of months are going to be GREAT!!  :0)

The closet adventure...

Lori: "Eventually we will have to talk turkey you know..."

Me: "That just sounds complicated, I don't have the energy to be talking turkey today."

Lori: "You know we could always throw this situation back to them to decide, they are the ones making this hard when it could be oh so simple."

Me: "I think we should change things up completely and put the men in the kitchen this year and we ladies take over the television!"

Lori: "No now they aren't watching television, they are watching the kids to make sure no harm or mess gets out of control while we cook."

Me: "Oh please, they aren't even in the same area of the house half the kids are in while we are cooking.  You know we completely rely on your informant to keep us up to date on the kid activities."

Lori: "Well that could prove to be an issue this year since she has up and decided to play on the kid team and leave the parents to their own devices."

Me: "What?  When did this happen?"

Lori: "Jay and I just noticed a few weeks ago that she hasn't been giving us her usual reports and so we have each taken a shot at getting an update... NOTHING!   Fort Knox is that one now.  Ugh.  We knew it would happen, but we don't have a junior trainee this time around to take her spot.  I guess by the time this little guy gets hatched it will be too long for him to become my new informant and all the action will be gone. We worry he won't get all the fun the other kids had growing up in such a large family, as he will be so many years behind them all."

Me: "Are you kidding, this little guy is going to be soooooo spoiled by all his much older and wiser siblings and cousins.  This kid will be trying to get some privacy when it's all said and done and just think of all the little mothers he will have to endure with all the girls in the house.  He won't get picked on by his much older brothers, so the kid totally dodge that and he will have the joys of having his own bedroom for a period of time. "

Lori: "True enough... I guess we just worry because we didn't see this little guy coming. "

Me: "So then hurry up and get the little guy out and go for another to keep him company!"

Lori: "Oh bite your tongue!  This is definitely the LAST time that I am putting my body through this baby making process thank you very much.  If Jay wants more he can carry and deliver himself, I am done. "

Me: " I don't blame you, having kids in my twenties was hard so watching you do this pushing forty is just really giving you major bravery points in my book girlfriend."

Lori: "Yeah, I don't even want to think about what shape this last adventure will leave my rear end.  But I am more than sure Jay will have plenty of interaction with that end once this is over, so that can only help in whipping it into shape... Literally!"

Me:" Now Lori we talked about this, Jay is not keeping a running toll of your transgressions while you are on bed rest.  He has been with you through six other pregnancies, so he is not surprised by anything you have said or done so just relax and forget about your conspiracy theory."

Lori: "I swear he is writing down things and will just be waiting for the time to bring out the list when I least expect it!  I am not crazy he is writing stuff down all the time and it's in a book in the closet over there.  If you want to prove me wrong go take a look for yourself!"

Me: "Are you inviting me to snoop in Jay's closet right now?  I mean if I do and you can finally relax about him not keeping a running journal of your pregnancy crazy, that will be helping you mentally which will then help you emotionally right?  So I am doing you a favor here which would out weigh any say maybe guilt about snooping into Jay's stuff right?"

Lori: "Um, yeah and sure that sounds about legit to me.  So it's on the shelf to the right as soon as you walk in and the book looked brownish or dark reddish maybe...."

So it didn't take much more than Lori's yeah to hit my ears and I was on the move over to the closet and finding the light switch flipped it on.  I made like a cop going into a criminal's home and put my back up to the wall and yelled that I was coming in, so no funny business from anything containing  or made of cotton would be tolerated.  That got Lori spitting tea around the room and I decided the clean up could wait until I found this mystery book Jay has been writing so made my way into the closet.  The setup in their master bedroom gives them each their very own walk in closet, so they don't share closet space at all. That being said, Jay has got to be one of the most unorganized people I know!!  I mean the man didn't even hang all this shirts together or pants they were intermingled!!!  Who does this?  So of course being who I am this sort of mess was hurting my brain and eyes so as I was looking for the mystery book I might have started to help sort some of the clothes to match their neighbors.  It just all sort of got out of hand when I saw he didn't even have a break between his seasonal clothes, I mean the long sleeved shirts where totally mingling with shorts!!!  What man hangs up shorts???  Jay obviously does and that is just a totally interesting conversation to have with him at some point I am sure.

Lori: "Don't touch anything or he will know and don't tell me you aren't touching things because I can hear movement and jangling.  He doesn't even want me in there messing up his system, so I can just imagine what it looks like right about now.  Can you hear me and what was that crash!?!"

Me: "Oh Lori, this is so wrong... I mean so VERY wrong!  Who hangs up shorts for crying out loud?  Oh my gosh is that Bart Simpson this is just so 80s! This is truly amazing what he has stashed back here, who would have thought he was a closet Twinkie eater!"

Lori: "He has Twinkies in there?  Get me one.. No wait bring me two, the man wants to hold out on me he can lose two or three.. Yeah bring me three!  I just knew he was holding out on me, I bet that secret book is covered in Twinkie filling from his sneaking food and writing all my transgressions down to torture me with them later."

I brought her out the box of Twinkies and went right back in for a better search, but of course I had started on the left side and worked my way to the back.  I mean what fun would it have been to start on the side we thought the mystery book would be and miss all the other fun stuff waiting to be discovered.  The man stashed Oreo's and Skittles in shoe boxes on the back wall and has enough gum to last at least two years if push came to shove.  In a house that full of kids and a pregnant wife, I could't fault the guy too much for his stash but still made me laugh.  I did find the book that Lori had seen him writing in, but that wasn't a wonderful find for me and put me in a REALLY bad spot.  I opened the book and saw exactly what it was all about, he is most definitely keeping a journal of Lori's pregnancy but not to haunt her with but to be a present for her and the new little guy.  So as I sat there and read the first few pages my stomach totally dropped and my mind started to race.. How am I going to get out of this one?  I put the book back down and grabbed a pair of socks that were randomly laying on the shelf and decided to fold them while telling Lori that no such book was present in this fascinating closet.  So I was in the door way of the closet folding the sockets and delivering my lie about zero books being in this messy closet when Jay walked into the bedroom and saw Lori stuffing Twinkies in her mouth and I was in his private walk in closet folding his sockets with all kinds of guilt in my eyes.  That is when I decided they could deal with the situation without me and threw the socks at Jay and closed myself in the closet.   Why oh why do they not put locks on closet doors these days?  I think a master closet of all closets in a home would be considered important enough to have a lock right?

I was up against the closet door deciding my next move when I heard a thudding crash from the other side and Lori screeching that he was horrible to be hiding Twinkies from her and the baby.  I may have threw up a cheer that she must have tossed the empty box his direction and that would be the source of the crash I just heard, which then got his attention back to the fact I was in his closet.  So over to the closet he came and tried to open the door only to find me on the other side holding the knob and leaning back with all my body weight and muscles I could muster.  So he didn't get the door open very far and it snapped right back at him with a very fun and satisfying thump.  Too bad the men in this family are built so large, makes tangling with them very one sided some times.  I only held strong for maybe two attempts and had to abandon the knob and pick up more socks to defend myself against the enemy now opening the door.   I had three socks darting his way upon entry and almost made it around him and out the closet but he got lucky and had me up and over his shoulder and dumped on the end of the bed in seconds.  Dang it all...

Jay: "Start talking!"

Me: "You do know that long sleeved shirts should never mingle with shorts, they should be hung up with like minded items or chaos will happen.  Or better yet, no one and I do mean no one should really consider shorts as items to hang.  I mean that space should really be for shirts and pants and the shorts can live on the shelf or a drawer, since they are smaller and better to fold."

Jay: "You messed with my system didn't you?"

Me: "Um... system, I saw no system!  Perhaps we should start back at the definition you have for a system because that might explain a lot about what I found in there."

Jay: "You shouldn't have been in there to find anything that is my personal closet and not a play ground for you two women while I am not here.  Don't you even start all your crazy talk about systems and cleaning either because the word is already out on you lady and you are a nut... There I said it, a certifiable cleaning nut that should never be let loose on unsuspecting normal people."

Me: "Oh yeah cause normal unsuspecting people always hide Twinkies, cookies and Skittles in their closet.  Don't even get me started on your undies, that is just a disgrace!"

Jay: " You didn't touch my underwear..  If I so much as see one article of clothing out of place in that closet I am going to know exactly who to have a talk with and it won't be fun for you. "

Me: " Oh chill out, I didn't go near your underwear at all I was just kidding.  I had just gotten to all the good sugar when you came in and caught us, it's not a major deal."

That is when my cell phone went off and my lovely son saved my day and told me he needed my help at home.  So I made a big show of telling him I was on my way and ran for it as the running was good.  I was at least half way home before I pulled the smooched Twinkie from my pocket and had fun munching it down.  Oh the years of fun and entertainment alone that I will have with Jay over the state of his closet... It's those little things in life!  :0)

Jay came down later last night and outed my little closet adventure to Alex, but he did it more to find out if I found the book than to make trouble.  I told him that he was driving Lori nuts and that she thought he was writing down all her pregnancy crazy to haunt her after the baby is born and that is what led us to the closet adventure in the first place.  So he is going to be more on the down low now that he knows she is on to him and I am going to distract Lori from catching on to him capturing her pregnancy for her in this cute little journal.  He also made me promise to never set foot into his closet again, but that he maybe liked some of the re-arranging that I did for him so it was not a total loss.  Alex wanted to know what I found in Jay's closet that made it such an adventure, so I told him if we kept to the traditional oven baked turkey instead of deep frying the world this year I would tell him.  He agreed and I let him know that his brother still wears Bart Simpson underwear.... (Oh please, like I was not going to use that information for evil!)

Win/win situation all around if you ask me!

I called Lori this morning and we finally talked turkey and it's all worked out!  :0)

What DD is to us, the benefits and how to introduce the idea....

I have had several emails from women wanting to know how this DD thing works and how they could go about introducing the subject to their partners/spouse in the last few weeks.  So in an effort to help I thought to paste one of my responses and post it out.  But before the comments start to barrel in, please note this is MY perspective and not the end all be all of what DD could our should look like for everyone.  Whew,  now that my disclaimer is in place....  :0)

Thanks so much for reaching out!  :0)  So I can give you my thoughts, but if I have learned anything over the last year or so reading blogs, it’s that every relationship is as different as the people in them.  So what works for one couple may not work or make any sense to another.  But I can give you my point of view to at least see if that helps at all.

So Alex and I differ from many of the couples in blog land in that we didn’t introduce the DD concept after many years of marriage, it was part of the foundation of our relationship from the start.  We are very old fashion in this, as we both grew up as Christians and follow what God tells us is the intended roles of marriage in the bible.  The man was meant to lead the family and is held accountable to God for his leadership, just as the woman is to submit to her husband in all things and provide care for her husband and children.  Does the bible say that the man should spank his wife, nope it sure doesn’t but it is a very good tool in keeping the peace and reinforcing authority.  Alex was given the advice from his grandfather who practiced DD within his marriage and they had a wonderful love that was plain to see by all.  What are some of the advantages that we get from using DD:

- We don’t have the power struggle that some marriages have, as we both understand that Alex has the final say in all things… 

- If we do have a disagreement we both know it will not last, as Alex will do what is needed to move us past it before it starts to hurt our relationship.

- Once we “discuss” something, it is DONE… No one harbors ill feelings or brings it back up months later.  It makes things so much easier when both people have an outlet to remove bad thoughts or feelings that can add up and eventually start tearing away at a relationship.

- We both have a common set of values and are committed to our roles in the relationship. (Some people have such different up bringings and values it's hard to meet in the middle, so setting them for both people is often the best course or things could get messy.)

- Because I am willing to submit to Alex so intimately (physical and emotionally) we have such a connection or chemistry between the two of us it’s WONDERFUL!  We constantly have friends that want to know why after 18 years of marriage does it look like we are still in the honeymoon period where it’s a struggle to keep our hands off each other.  We love to be together and are constantly touching each other in some way, it’s just a connection that is truly amazing.

Also I think this is a huge benefit of DD too… Attention.

Let’s face it, we want our men to pay attention to us…  This world is chalk full of things to keep people focused on anything and everything but their partners or family.  But in a DD relationship the man must focus on his wife and family as he is charged with leading.  The woman must pay attention to her husband to ensure she is following his lead and taking care of him and the children.  They must keep focused on their partners and that takes time and energy that they will both give where other relationships will get lazy and miss things.  Relationships take lots of time and energy from the people in them and today in our society and world of electronics and broken families it’s very easy to fail.  So adding the attention needed for DD to work, helps both people in the relationship feel even more loved and connected by the mere fact that they are being given the attention they want and need from their partner.

If this is something you really want, keep the talking going…  Keep letting him know how much you want this and how/where it would work from your point of view.  I would even challenge you to start showing him how much you want this by showing him submission in places you wouldn’t have before.  (Without him having to do or say anything!) If he likes that and wants to see more he can communicate and see you change and progress is made.  It may take a bit of time, but once he is seeing how it works it may then build up into him trying to introduce more things such as rules and consequences. 

Please give this concept time to take hold, change takes time and new concepts are not easy for everyone.  Humans make mistakes, so you will need to be VERY patient and open minded about all parts of DD.  Habits generally take 8 weeks to form, so even if you get to start straight away don't be disappointed if consistency doesn't happen right away... Don't be disappointed if it takes months down the road to even find the start of consistency.  If you both meet in the middle and agree to do this together then you will only grow closer, but you have to commit to communicating WAY more than you ever have in your relationship before.  :0)  

One suggestion that I will highlight is that if you do get to the point of committing to try this dynamic, please set a trial time or decide it is a permanent fixture in the relationship.  I have seen this happen in our family tree, where couples will start then stop and then start and then stop and it builds soooooo much frustration and mistrust in the relationships.  Give it long enough to work out the bumps and survive the human aspect of it as we are all flawed and need some extra time to get it right some times.  My point is that perhaps when you sit down and decide how DD will work for your relationship, set the recheck point for 6 months to a full year.  Honestly, we just put it in place as part of our foundation and have never once talked about removing it.  Permanent things just seem to work better in some people's minds better than temporary or trial periods, as they are seen as loop holes or easy outs.  (That was actually what one of my sister-in-laws said she felt when they tried it for a few months and stopped.  They put it back in place with the agreement it was permanent and have been doing DD very successfully now for several years.)

One last point from your email about introducing various implements to hurt their wives…  So Alex has a paddle that he pulls out for times he feels very strongly about a subject, but he usually just uses his hand. The only time we use implements other than his hand is for intimacy purposes and it is not to beat me but provide that extra sting to build more passion/pleasure.  Again, just what our relationship looks like as others may like pain as part of their dealings/activities.  Most couples agree to the implements that could be used in a given situation or some women give their men complete control on picking them.  Again, each couple is really different so the DD exchange will look different depending on what works for them.

I hope some of this helps!  :0)

Hugs,
Irish Lucky

Peek A Boo... I See You!

Hello out there....

It's that time of year again, when all the blogging community does their level best to bring the lurkers out.  

Bribes...

They seem to work, who doesn't like a reward for doing something that is out of our comfort zone right?  I mean with the help of several Girl Scout cookies, both my kids were potty trained within days.  So if it works...

Questions...

We can ask all kinds of questions to try and pull some interaction from the masses.  (Oh fine, masses aren't exactly lining up at my blog door, but still..Sounds good right?)

Gratitude...  

That is the one I am going with this year!  I want to take this year's post and thank everyone in the community that comes out and supports my little blog.  I have had some wonderful conversations, emails and comments this last year and I am thankful for each and everyone of them.  So thank you to those that have reached out, those that have just stopped by for a quick read and for those die hard readers that send me an email and poke at me to make sure I am still around when I disappear now and then.  

For those on the verge of becoming blog authors or those on the fence trying to decide... I encourage you to take that leap and give it a go, it's been one of the best experiences for me that I almost chickened out on.   If you do decide to take the leap, send me your blog link and you will have your first captive audience, as I will be your cheer leader as long as you need one.  Promise!  :0)

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day!!!!