Friday, November 13, 2015

Change is good... Right?

So I disappeared right after saying that I was back and not going to .... well disappear.  :0)  I am sincerely sorry and I know that some of you sent emails to check in on me and those were not only amazing but surprising to get.  So from the bottom of my heart... Thank you to those VERY kind souls.

My absence was a decision made after an incident that happen literally days after my last post... Due to a very bad choice made by one of my in-laws, my blog was outed to a very large portion of our circle of friends at church.  Yes, at church of all places!!  Sigh.  Alex left it up to me if I wanted to continue, start over to become anonymous once more or shut it all down.  In the end I have decided to stand my ground and continue with MY blog.  Human judgement is always hard and always forth coming these days, but at the end of the day we don't care about those judgements. God's judgement and concerns from my loved ones and true friends are what matter to us and those have all (ok, we had some shock factors of course.. ) have stood by us and love the blog at the end of the day.  Some now know more of our story and our friendships have blossomed and grown and to be honest have made an impact on their own relationships.  Alex has given TONS of advice and I have been answering questions from parents, friends and people I didn't know very well that I now am happy to call friend.

This entire thing unfortunately hasn't resolved all the way, as our family has struggled to find closure... Too many hurt feelings and harsh words that can't ever be taken back were said.  It may take a very long time to bridge this gap and that is the saddest part of the entire situation in my opinion.  At least it is now...  At first it just seemed like life would never ever be the same and leaving the house was just not anything I wanted to do for weeks.  But I got out every day, even when I really didn't need to do anything just to show everyone I am who I am without any apologies.  Alex was my rock as usual and never once left me alone in a public setting for weeks until he felt all was well.

The holidays are fast approaching so only time will tell how those will go, with all of us trying to be together.  We are doing Thanksgiving down at Lori's this year, and she communicated very clearly that no drama will occur in her home that won't end with her and a rolling pin after the person that starts it.  So we are all to be on our best behavior or else!  :0)  Bless her heart.  She has been a protective Momma bear fighting in my corner since the start of all this, I can't thank her and Jay enough for all their love and support during the crazy and chaos.

Update time!!!

With the construction of my parent's new home in our backyard and my son's garage apartment, we have been super busy.  Speaking of my son, Kyle graduated from High School last May and is now working full time with Alex.  Alex has had to travel a bunch in the last month so he has brought Kyle in full speed and I have helped out as much as they needed too.  Other then a few classes here and there Kyle will work full time with Alex and one day strive to take the company from him, so we are very proud and super happy.  With this decision he also wanted to stay close to home, but not in the home because he is ready to be his own man too.  So that brought up the space over the garage could be built up into a very nice size apartment and get him technically out of our home.  The contractors working on the house were more than happy to bid out this new project and it is going WAY faster than the house build for sure!  Of course they aren't dealing with my parents on that one so they probably love that job more.  Kyle should be living in the apartment by the end of this month and my parents should be in there new home by late January if they ever stop making changes.

Have you ever seen the movie Sleepless In Seattle where Tom Hanks is an architect and he is dealing with a lady that keeps changing the layout of her kitchen and he has to keep moving cabinets back and forth.... I think our contracts would love that lady over working with my parents!  Alex just walks away and lets them deal with it, he can't even keep it together anymore either.  But the house will be just what they need for 6 months out of the year and give us the privacy back too.

I have basically been living in a construction zone for going on 6 months now.  We have picked up two nails and a metal clip in our tires so far...  Yes, just lots of noise and constant workers coming and going.  Since it gets light around 4:45am in the summer months here, that would be when I started hearing them pull up and it never got peaceful again until 4:30pm.  So the monster dog and I have been going down and spending time with Lori and her kids during the day and coming home in time to make dinner and get ready for Alex and Kyle to get home from work.  Kaylee is back in school with her friends and doing very well so far, but online school is always an option again if things change.  Kaylee also is driving and has a new part time position that keeps her busy.  My house is empty more than it is full these days, which makes me sad and wishing we had more kids left to make noise and I can't believe I am saying this.. I miss the everyday messes of having family under foot all the time.  Sigh.

Lori has decided not to go back to teaching and will stay at home with her youngest children.  Teachers get paid next to nothing in this state and she doesn't want to miss her last baby's firsts.. I was of course sad to hear I wasn't going to get the little guy to play with but super happy to have my BFF home down the street to hang with all the time too.  Jay had the surgery to ensure that this little guy is their last baby so that really pushed it home to Lori that she didn't want to miss a second of this last baby growing up.

Now for the news that I am not very happy about.....

First, my son went and bought a "promise" ring for his girlfriend.  He hasn't given it to her nor has he mentioned anything about it to her, but he has been talking with Alex and it seems like she is the one in his mind.  I can't go and yell that he is way too young since I was engaged during my senior year and a full year younger than he is since I graduated at 17.  Ugh.  Now Alex has a leg to stand on since he was 20 when we got engaged and 23 when we got married, but he isn't freaking out like I am either.  He still thinks that it's a sign that he went with a promise ring and not a full out engagement ring and he has been sitting on the ring for several weeks without moving on giving it to her.  He thinks if we just stand back and let Kyle figure it out on his own it would be much better and less likely to push him in a direction he wouldn't have done otherwise.  So I am trying to keep calm and not say anything to him and trying to not be weird in front of HER.  Grrrrrr.    Well ok fine, I actually like this girl... In fact of all his girlfriends she has been the best and she does have a really good head on her shoulders.  She is a year older than Kyle, so she is a Sophomore at NAU major is Business Management so she can do lots of things with that degree.  But she has stated several times over that she doesn't see herself having kids, which my turn coat daughter decided had a nice ring to it too.  Which as a person that can't wait to be called Grandma... I HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM WITH THAT!!!!   :0(  What is with these younger generations not wanting to have kids?  Lori thinks they will all change their minds, she and Jay both didn't want a large family and look at them now.  So I am buying my time and waiting to pick my battles later... Sigh.  So not easy.

Whew, I think that about does it.. You are updated!  :0)

Happy LOL week.. I am sorry to have missed that this year.  :0(


  1. Hey Lucky!!!! Was so happy to see your blog pop to the top of my reading list. Sorry you've had so much to deal can be a royal pain can't they. Oh my...all that construction can be annoying can't it. Would love to have you write the saga of your parents and the contractor....would love to read that! ;)

    Please take it from a mom who's been as non-verbal as possible with your son regarding the promise ring or any other ring. It can push him to places you don't want him to go and he might not have gone if not being stubborn. My oldest has gifted me with two granddaughters so I am very blessed. My youngest DIL's mother started asking when we could expect grandchildren while we were waiting for the photographer to set up for photos after the ceremony! DIL is not even sure she wants to have children due to some childhood trauma that she is working through. I've told them it is their lives and I will support their choices while her mother keeps pressuring...guess who they visit more. Bite your tongue and vent here if necessary... ;) Hang in there and please don't wait so long between posts!

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    1. Hi Cat,

      Oh which saga shall I write, my parents have made this poor contractors life a misery. Bless his heart he has been really amazing through it all. :0) I am trying to bite my tongue, but it's just sooooo hard. When I look at Kyle I still see him as a toddler with chubby cheeks and a smile for miles, yet here he is a man ready to start his own life. Sigh. I will get there, but you may have to read several posts of venting for me to completely arrive I am afraid.

      So happy to hear from you, have missed you! :0)

  2. Hello Irish Lucky

    I was so pleased to see your post pop up amongst all the LOL parties. I have been wondering what happened to you but was unable to email. I'm glad to read your update and so sorry things got rough for you.

    Do post again soon, I nearly missed your post, others may not have seen it.

    Best wishes,

    Rosie xx

    1. Hi Rosie,

      So good to hear from you, I have missed my blog friends! Family can be a challenge, but we are working through it all. This week will be interesting for sure, poor Lori is hiding all the breakables just to be safe. :0)