Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The balance goes both ways...

We arrived in Hawaii mid-day on Wednesday, put our thing away in our hotel room and went out to enjoy the beach and a tropical drink.  The usual scouting around and where shall we eat for dinner followed and then we settled in our room, opened our patio door to listen to the waves crash and cuddled in for the night.  Alex mentioned that he had read my last post earlier that morning and he really thought we should talk about the balance this dynamic gives to both of us.  He knew that I felt bad about getting into so much trouble lately and that I felt ... well off in our dynamic since last year.  So much change has occurred with the moves, our children getting older and family situations that it would be a challenge for us not to feel "off".  Alex pointed out that he was proud of us for keeping up with everything and that our dynamic helped us along the way when we needed it to bring us back together.  He didn't want me to feel badly about seemly being in more trouble lately, because he said that it helped him gage how we were handling the changes and it helped him center himself.

Me: "Um... Center yourself?  How is your wife not being able to stay out of trouble and constantly push at you and our rules helping you center yourself?"

Alex: "Being able to focus on you and us in that physical way helped me put all the change into perspective.  You allowing me to continue leading our family and giving me the physical connection that comes with our dynamic outside of our bed helped me through it all.  I need you in this dynamic just as much if not more some times than you need me."

Well now that took a bit of time for me to even start to wrap my brain around...

Me: "So you are saying that you NEED me to get into trouble?"

Alex: "No, I am saying that the intimacy and trust you have given me over and over allows me to focus on my family more fully and it centers me."

Me: "I read a blog a few weeks back, where the wife knew her husband needed the contact and moment of leadership in order to feel better about something he was struggling with outside of the home.  The wife picking up on that actually went to him and asked for a spanking to help him get back on track.  That blog made me stop and think, did I ever see you needing to spank me for you rather than my actions warranting the outcome of a spanking.  My answer was that I never looked at it that way so along the way I could have missed that you need this dynamic past how it helps our marriage. With everything that has been going on I never came and talked to you about this and honestly just remembered it now.  Wow.. I am really sorry honey do you need a magnet to flip too?"

Alex: "You have nothing to be sorry about.. I think we have learned a lot about ourselves these past few months and the blogging community has opened both our eyes to the amount of people that have some form of what we practice in their relationships.  Some of those blogs have influenced us in ways we are just now starting to understand, because we are questioning our dynamic more than ever before.  I see Jay and Lori watching us more closely than ever and our kids have us in a fish bowl 24/7.  But here the two of us are together and honey I have to say that for all we have been through in the past few months I feel closer to you than ever before."

Me:"Do you ever feel like spanking me would help you when you are upset about something outside our marriage?"

Alex: "I think spending time alone with you in any intimate setting would help me forget about anything upsetting me.  It doesn't need to be spanking, but I can't say that our fun spankings aren't a huge turn on for me. As they say in blog land, I am definitely classified as a spanko."

Me: "Well then we may just be in trouble here, cause I have started craving our fun spankings.  I would have been on the floor laughing a year ago if some one told me I would be craving you spanking me. I only wish we could have brought some new implements to try out, as we finally have time alone to make noise and have some fun."  (My lower lip actually came out as I said this...)

Alex: "Well then worry no more little one, I have brought some surprises and one of them is about to come out."

He went into the closet and returned with a wooden ruler, plastic hanger and oh my goodness his belt!!  Now if you follow my blog at all you know that the belt is a HUGE fear of mine.  I don't have any idea why it freaks me out so much, but I was losing my playful feelings at the sight of that in his hand.  But being the smart and very observant man that he is, once he saw me zero in on the belt and start to panic he put it on the table across the room and said maybe another time.  Whew...

Back into bed he came and over his lap I went and fun we did have.... But the man didn't stay inside the lines!!!  My bikini lines that is... The next day I had to wear a cover up as parts of my bum was still red and marked from our fun the night before.  I told him as much over breakfast and his response made me choke on my coffee...

Alex: "Well then I should definitely practice more, but maybe for now we should just find you a red bikini so it all blends."

Um, yeah.. I have a new red bikini that I will forever keep even when I can't (shouldn't) wear it anymore, it will always be a keep sake from this trip together.


  1. A year ago we went to Hawaii. Barney stopped all spankings a week or so before. Some how I don't think I would get that option this year. More, " Well then you should just behave and there will be no problem" is more likely what I would hear.

    I hope you are having or had a wonderful time! I know it is always almost jaw dropping when my husband talks about what he gets out of Dd/spanking. Who would have thought? LOL


  2. It is just so awesome when both realize that this dynamic is needed. The Man and I have had a similar conversation. I admire you for your openness. I am also one that learns from blogs. Oh and the belt? Yeah, I am right there with you Sista...

  3. Love that you are having so much fun. Good on you.

  4. What is so lovely about TTWD is how it opens communication between you and allows you to meet each others needs so well. One time June wrote about when Ward came home extremely stressed, she would go get the hairbrush and lay herself over his lap. She knew he sometimes needed the stress release of spanking just as much as she sometimes needed the stress release of receiving a spanking.

    Congrats on the new bikini! :D

    FYI...the belt is really nothing to fear. You might have Alex start with just lightly stroking your skin with the smacking/hitting...just let you get used to the feel of the leather on your skin.


  5. You guys seem to communicate so well, and its sweet :-) I'm glad you are enjoying your fun spankings!