Shift Of Control

Alex: "What we have here is a failure to communicate.... "

Me: "But honey, that is all we do around here is COMMUNICATE!!!   Seriously, I am the female in this relationship and I am saying we do nothing but communicate about everything... "  (this may or may not have been said in a really whiney voice with my lower lip hanging out very delicate and sad like...)

But not sad enough, because about two minutes later I was up close and personal with the comforter on our bed and wondering when I should change it out for the winter comforter.  Well until his hand landed on my bare bottom, then I didn't really care what comforter was on the stupid bed anymore.  Grrrrrrr...

How this mess got started:

Alex was very clear in letting me know he enjoyed Tuesday night and loved that I went through all the planning and setting up of the entire event for us.  He even commended me on my HOH look to get him back on the air mattress, he was super impressed.  (Me too, didn't know I had any HOH looks in my stock pile.. I think it was my best Mom look that got him moving more than anything close to an HOH look.)  But he also was very clear before we (he, I swear this doesn't ring any bells but he promises he said the power shift was done.) fell a sleep in the early hours of Wednesday morning that the control was now back in his court.  I think maybe I mumbled a confirmation or moaned, I was just REALLY tired and drank like three glass of wine... What ever the response was not good enough or didn't leave him feeling convinced.  This is a piece of information that I wish that I knew prior to waking up on Wednesday and bouncing around the kitchen like the ruler of the universe with a spatula to back me up.  Yes, I even gave is bottom a tap or ..... two.. or three..  Oh fine, I tapped him enough to get the raised eyebrow of doom if I didn't stop.  Grrrrr.. He was just grumpy from lack of sleep!  :0)

Off to work he went and down the street I went to help Lori for the day, she is super sick right now.  She is not doing morning sickness but more like all times of day sickness.  Poor thing is just really not having a good time with this pregnancy at all.  She called the doctor again this morning to let them know just how sick she is, but they aren't concerned yet at this point.  So she is to take it easy and keep hydrated by sipping little bits of water all day long. Well let's just say some people don't make a habit of sipping anything EVER (She is just horrible at staying hydrated when not pregnant) so she needs reminders.  Jay decided a human reminder would do his nerves better and he has missed enough work to be really backed up so down the street I went.  I spent Wednesday cleaning, making sure she sips water and talking baby names.  Lori is convinced it's a little girl, but with the ratio of boys in the family oven now... I told her it may be wise to just keep a few boy names in the hopper too.  

It was going on 7pm when I finally got them settled and came back home to "switch" with Kaylee.  She is helping Lori and Jay out so much with the little ones at night we are letting her stay down there until Lori is better.  After I watched her walk down the street I went straight up to take a long bubble bath and relax.  I had just gotten into my "happy" place when Alex came in wanting to know where in the world was dinner... So after explaining to him that I didn't realize the day had gone so quickly and so didn't call down and ask Kaylee to start anything, well he was either going to have to wait for me to be done with my bath or he was on his own for dinner.  (Looking back on this particular conversation I can see where he felt I was blowing him off.  I was tired and honestly didn't mean to forget his dinner.)

So at this point he hadn't liked my response the night before about the temporary power shift coming to an end.  He was not happy with my morning attitude or actions and now he had come home to no dinner and a wife that told him to either wait or go away.  I can see why he was upset, but can you also see that I had no idea what was building up at this point?  I mean my HOH warning signs were NOT coming through at all.  NOTHING!!

He got up without a word and went down and made us both a spinach salad and brought a tray up so we could eat in our room together.  I was shocked when I came out of the bathroom and saw what he had done.  He patted the bed and said to come eat and we could catch the Big Brother finale together. (I am a sucker for the Big Brother show, it comes on every summer and I watch them all... I even got my parents and most of Alex's family watching it now!  We are constantly talking about who is on the block and going to get evicted next, so Alex finally gave up and started watching it with me. ) We turned it on only to find out it didn't start for another 30 minutes so we muted the television and I asked about his day.  He told me about a few meetings that went really well and a new hire that wasn't working out, so he wasn't looking forward to letting them go.  I told him about Lori being really sick and not keeping anything down and that she actually looks green some times.  He asked me if I was worried, but we both agreed she has a great doctor and each pregnancy is different.  Then we watched the finale of Big Brother and my guy that I had been rooting for all session won!  Yahoo! I did a little happy dance and took our plates down and cleaned up the kitchen before heading back up for the night.

When I got into our room everything was cleaned up for the night and the bed was turned down, but Alex wasn't in the bedroom.  I called out to him and heard his voice from the bathroom that he would be out in a minute and to please sit on the end of the bed and wait for him.  Now that had me wondering what was up, why was I not just sliding into bed and waiting there?  So I plopped myself on the end of the bed and let out a slightly dramatic sigh before flinging my body back and laying down.  (No, for the record that was not sitting respectfully at the end of the bed and waiting for my husband.. I know!! But I didn't know that I was already working on trouble, I was still basically completely clueless.  I really pride myself on knowing Alex and being able to tell when I have started to push buttons that shouldn't be pushed...all at the same time or close together.  :0)  You ladies know what I am saying here.)

Well I did hear him come down the hall, but again didn't know that moving to a sitting position would be REALLY good right about then.  So it took me by surprise when I was lifted and turned right over his lap with a rush of cold air swooshing onto my bottom as he pulled away all the barriers.  Now I am on my game at this point as this position is all too familiar and so now I am anticipating a stinging hand at any moment to land on my bared bottom... Only that doesn't happen.  What does happen is I feel him opening my cheeks and smear something wet, cold and goodness this is NOT good on my backdoor.  I am very much a firm believer that the backdoor was meant for out going things and NEVER meant for ingoing objects, items or heck just anything EVER!  Exit only would be the sign I would post back there...if well signs were posted back there. :0)  

Alex was using vaseline on my bottom and the thermometer he was then going to stick in said EXIT, to ease the way.  When I squirmed to try and see what he was up to I was given a really hard swat and told not to move and submit or this was not going to end well for me.  I was really thrown at this point, why was he doing this??  You would think that would have just been the perfect thing for me to ask right about then... Oh man, I wish that is what I had said at that point!  Really if anyone has a time machine on loan that I could borrow, I would go back and just ask the why question....  Instead I very calmly informed him that if he stuck that thermometer where I think he was going to it wasn't going to end well for him either.   I did the best twist and roll of my life and when my foot hit floor I bolted as fast as I could... He is big and fast so I didn't make it but a few steps and he had me up against him with his arm around my waist holding me to him.  You would think I would have found some sanity by this point, but sadly I had not...

Me: "I hope you are wearing a good amount of vaseline after all this."

Alex:"Oh little one I wouldn't be worried about me right now.  I suggest you calm down and decide if you are going to submit with or without my help. This is going to happen, but it doesn't have to be a huge deal. "

Me: "This from a man that couldn't even stay on a air mattress for two seconds last night!"

Alex: " I think you said it yourself that submitting can be tricky right?"

Me: "Let me go and explain why you feel it necessary to shove that thing up my butt and call it a test of submission!"

That got his attention, as I might have (oh heck I did!) stomped on his foot while delivering the let me go part.  But he did let me go and he sat on the bed and I backed up to the wall putting a bit of distance between us.

Which then brings us to the start of this post....  What a mess!

I deserved the spanking for disrespect and well stomping on his foot wasn't very nice either.  Sigh.  The rest we both decided that even if it seems like we are constantly communicating, it doesn't cover all the bases if you aren't doing the right kind of communicating.  Alex should have been more direct with me and I should have paid attention or at least been respectful enough to ask the right questions to defuse the situation.  I didn't realize my seduction was going to throw the balance of power off either, but seriously he is and always has been the leader in or relationship so I never thought to try and switch it at all.  Alex needed to know I was switched back and had zero ideas about things changing and we just skipped over all those things and ended up in a mess.  We did talk it all out and he was sweet enough not to use the thermometer, but said it was in the bathroom if ever needed.   Alex took me to bed after it was all talked out and he took me very slowly and very throughly to a very HAPPY place together.

He also mentioned a shopping trip this weekend to get some much needed supplies.. He gave me a wink at the end of that statement, which can only mean that I won't have to search for socks the next time I want to tie him up!!  Or wait... Maybe he will be putting the knots in this time.  Gulp!  :0)