I had a lovely surprise on Friday afternoon...My husband called and told me to try and get off work early, as he and I were heading out alone this weekend! Of course following the call all my work related focus was shot all to heck, so I pretty much shut everything down and ran for the exit. HA!
He had our teens tucked with friends for the weekend and his bag was by the front door when I got home... So he had this planned early in the week, sneaky ... I love my man, but spontaneous and sneaky he is not...So that made this all the much better to me. I pretty much danced up the stairs and I did some amazing twirling motions in the walk-in closet... I even briefly wondered why I never took ballet, maybe I would have been good at it. :0) Yes, dancing on air pretty much at this point.
We live where it is super hot 8 months of the year, so we went to a cooler climate. I forgot how fun it is to be cold and wear layers. We ate way too much, drank just enough and cuddled (G rated word, I am working on the courage to get more detailed) more than we have in months.
Another thing we did tons of...talking. He and I are usually really good at reading each other, so we sort of get lazy in the communication between us. We are not perfect by any means either so some times our reading of each other can be totally wrong too. I think lately we have been lazy and just TOTALLY WRONG! Sigh.... He and I both felt the disconnect, but he was calling us on it. So we spent lots of time going back over some topics/events that have come up over the last few months... Wow, we were really on totally different pages. I can't remember a time where we were so broken. :0( Honestly, this scared me once we got so far into our conversation and we started to see just how far we were from each other.
I also confessed to finding this wonderful blog world and how we sort of fit in as a DD couple. His eyes got big when I delved into the topic of blogs I had been reading. Interesting enough, he knew it has a name... So I was not amused he had not shared that with me before. His come back was he didn't think I would care or was interested in "it" having a name...It is what we do, how we work as a couple. Period.
I have been absorbing as many blogs and details I could in the last few months.. Worried maybe we were doing "it" wrong and freaking out about should I tell him or not.. I mean what if I did that and he wanted to change how we did things, would I be open to that... We have been married for 17 years, so this would be introducing some change... We aren't broken, so should we be even thinking of fixing anything.. You see I say we a lot in that paragraph but it was only me doing all this worrying and thinking, because I was too chicken to talk to him. Ugh..
So this is our problem.. We are not openly communicating on things, big or small any more. We are single minded when we should be double minded. (That was what he said this weekend) I could have just smiled and said you got it babe, cause I knew what he meant. But I have this problem where I take everything really literally.. So I was like how in the world would we ever finalize a decision if you had two minds to make up.. Honey it takes you forever to make up your first one. :0) Yeah, I had to go there... I am a fast thinker, fly by the seat of my pants in the moment lets move it type of gal.. He likes to look at all the angles, mull it over, make glue, knit a blanket... Ooops, ok maybe went a bit far there.. He likes to really think some thing through before deciding. So this double minded thing just really had me stuck. HA!
So once he was done not being amused with me about the glue thing... :0) We came up with some ways to make sure we check in with each other more and really communicate. If we are reading signals we still need to check in with the other person and make sure we are right and not assume anything.
Oh and he wants to read some of these blogs I told him about. Gulp. Then he said we should sit down and talk about when and were I thought we were maybe not doing things right.. I told him we should probably just stick with his theory that how we do things is how we work.. Period. But he said that I must have some doubts or I wouldn't think we are not doing it right and maybe those points should be addressed. To that I said maybe I am not sure how I would feel if we changed things and he said we would worry about that later, but he wanted to take a look.
So after I post this I am going to start sending him some blogs to read... Double gulp.. I guess time will tell where this leads us.