Monday, September 30, 2013

Fantasy Football Spanking

Over the last several months I have been reading blogs and finding out that there are lots of different types of spankings going on.

Punishment Spankings - BUSTED, you broke a rule or crossed the wrong line!

Love this movie!

Reconnect/Maintenance Spankings - Role affirmation, reality check and checking in with each other.

Erotic/Good Girl Spankings - Let's get it on!

Not sure we broke new ground here, but it is a first for me.....

Fantasy Football Spanking - You thought it was bad when they scored points against you... Let's see how you feel now that their points help turn your bottom red.


Some background points:
1. For those not versed in Fantasy Football, it's basically where you pick players from different teams that play particular positions and how they play earns them/you points.  You play in a league and are matched up hoping your players score you more fantasy points than your opponent's players get them.  The games are on Thursday night, Sunday (most the day) and Monday night. I am in three leagues and Thursday's game was really important for my overall chances of winning this weekends match ups. 

2. I might be just a tad competitive... 
3. This is my first week with the "No cleaning Thursday night prior to the cleaning lady that is coming on Friday morning".  

This is what happen....

The family was fed, the kids were on their side of the house and my husband was in his man cave... Freedom!

I decided to watch Thursday night football in bed and really live it up...

 - Rice Chips....  (I am healthy, this is my version of junk food.. Work with me!)
 - Vitamin Waters...  (I always drink at least two, so line them up.)
 - iPad with Fantasy Football application to show me the points add up... 
 - Remotes near by to alter sound as needed...

Ok, let the game begin!

So maybe I got a tiny bit carried away, but how are the players going to know what they need to do unless I tell (yell) them instructions? Maybe if I jump around a bit that would get their attention too!  Yeah, maybe a combination of both would even work better...  During the first part of the second quarter my husband came upstairs and walked into a mess. The quilt was hanging off the end of the bed, pillows were all over the bed and maybe one or two might have ended up on the floor in front of the TV.  Rice chips were just all over and my monster puppy was madly crunching away at them.  I was on my knees in important conversation with the players on the screen, so I didn't notice his exact arrival.  But I did happen to hear the door shut and the click of the lock being turned.  (It is amazing how one becomes so tuned into that little click sound over the years.. Maybe because that is usually the sound leading up to the smack, smack, smack sound.)

I watched him calmly walk over and pick up the pillows that had jumped (seriously, how else did they get there?) onto the floor and shut off the TV. He walked over to the bed and placed the pillows against the headboard, never losing eye contact with me... Then he made his move and within seconds he was sitting with his back against said pillows with me over his lap.  Down came the pajama bottoms and undies and up goes the shirt to my shoulders.  And then.... NOTHING.  I can feel one of his hands resting on my lower back and the other on my bottom.  Usually when I am in this position he is all action, so this was scary new.. 

Let the internal struggle begin... Should I say something or would that make this even worse... A joke, that could lighten the mood, change his mind... Um...Dang I can't think of one good joke. Ugh! 

In the end I decided to lay there and wait him out...  

Minutes go by... Not sure how many, but long enough for me to relax and start down a really bad line of thinking... Just how bad the kid's bathroom looked right now, because it looked horrific this morning...Oh and I know my oldest didn't pick his dirty clothes up either... Grrrrrrr.  Now I am not certain if he felt me tense even more at this train of thought or what but right about mid growl he decided to ask me a question.

Him: "What part of the house are you mentally cleaning right now?"

Me: "Sigh. Our Son's bedroom floor is just covered in dirty clothes, I just know it!"  

Him: "Is the no cleaning rule behind the scene I walked into?"

Me: "Um... I don't think so."  (I honestly didn't know, I mean it was in the back of my mind all day that I couldn't clean that night.  But was I freaking out over it???)

Him: "So why do you feel the quarterback on the 49ers team deserved to be called that really creative string of names?" (Yeah, I am really ashamed of that string now. Not one of my finer moments.)

Me: "Well he keeps throwing to the players of my opponent and not one of mine! I mean are they suppose to play favorites or spread the wealth? I say move the ball around and be an equal opportunity quarterback. But oh no, he has to target two guys out of 10 out there and give them all the points!" (Insert a humph and dramatic crossing of my arms.)

Him: "So which two players seem to be racking up the points against you?"

Me: "Gore and Boldin... Grrrrrr!"

Him: "You thought it was bad when they scored points against you... Let's see how you feel now that their points help turn your bottom red." 

Me: "What???"

Him: "I have your iPad right here and every time an additional point is made by either Gore or Boldin will earn your bottom a smack."


Him: "You can thank Gore for those."

He has NEVER.. EVER.. EVER.. done anything like this before. I had no idea what to think and was speechless... After those three smacks he literally sat there and rubbed my back and kneaded my shoulders and would move downwards to my lower thighs and move back up... Every time the application alerted him to more points he would smack accordingly.  Now the smacks were just enough to get stingy but not like a bad sting which until last night would make ZERO sense to me. At one point I was rooting these two players on in my head!!!  

We stayed in this position for just over an hour until he was ready to remove his clothes and take some more invasive actions.  

In the end Gore had 41 points and Boldin 20!  My bottom was a lovely shade of red and I was in a very lovely place that got even better once my husband got his clothes off...  

I love Fantasy Football... Happy sigh.



  1. Sounds like someone had a good time...Or a couple of someones did!

  2. We really did! Then Sunday came around and we DID NOT! 😒 Maybe reconnects take practice or we just stink at them. Anyway or first attempt was an epic fail.