Thanks so much for all the supportive ladies that came and left me very encouraging comments on my last post. I love the insight we can get from each other and just the support of knowing others are out there and have essentially been there and done that too. I do have my sister-in-laws for support, but I find it so much easier to spill my guts on this blog some times and then regroup and talk with them. I guess it helps me clarify my feelings a bit more before I do the mental dump on them.... :0)
I don't think it was as simple as saying my trust in Alex was slipping... No woman is that simple. Wilma you were so right about that.. I read a book once that explained how women were like spaghetti noodles, we just take everything and slide right along our noodle way bringing all our emotions and situations with us.. Men on the other hand are like waffles, they have little compartments that they store/stash situations and emotions that go with them and don't blend them but jump from compartment to compartment. Going with the noodle theory, I guess maybe after a certain distance with my noodle, I eventually have just way too much emotion and too many situations I have dragged with me and I explode.. Dead noodle. Sigh.
I still worked my self up the Sunday after my post that I was struggling, but our reconnect actually went really well. Just settling in and letting the flow happen is hard, but I am working on it and last Sunday was even better. Alex has been really great, he has cornered me and really made me talk a bunch over the last several weeks. So we are on the same page more than we aren't these days, which is great with the holidays and the busy that usually comes with them.
So last Friday was my first experience shopping on black Friday!! CRAZY!!! I was not one that was out at midnight or even 5am, but the experience was still crazy even at noon. Lori, Stacey and I braved it together and got some really good deals. One of us got too many good deals and got into big time trouble and I am happy to report it was NOT me!! HA!
We are finally finishing our move this weekend and then turning right around and helping Jay and Lori move the rest of December.. So I will not be around much if at all the rest of this month.
So I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2014!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
I am struggling...
So last night I was commenting on a new friend's blog about types of spankings, you know the discipline .. You are in trouble spankings, which are NEVER fun... The I need help or am going to become just a really scary monster spankings, which or not fun but necessary. Then we have the weekly let's check in with each other and reconnect spankings, which could be no fun or fun depending on how it all works out. Maybe it is that not knowing how those are going to go that messes with me. But I commented that we are "Reconnect Challenged" on her blog and Alex was next to me and was reading over my shoulder. He didn't say anything right away but about an hour later we were settling down in bed and he asked me why I felt we are reconnect challenged. I of course giggled and said you don't? To which he moved to turn the light back on and sat up and said he thought we did our reconnects perfectly.
So once my jaw was back up off the bed and I had the power of speech back..
"Alex all but one have been failures, the rest except for the one you ended up getting a complex about your toes have ended in punishment spankings."
"I don't have a toe complex, my toes are perfectly normal and have just the right amount of hair."
"Oh my gosh.. You googled pictures of men's toes didn't you? HA! Admit it, I know you did!!"
"I might have done a bit of research, but not because I had a complex but to prove to you that my toes are just fine."
Flash back about three weeks.....
We were at our old house getting the last bit of things boxed up in the basement (We couldn't stretch this move out anymore if we tried, it is seriously been going on for a month now!!) and our kids were over at the new house. We always reconnect on Sunday evenings so we were together with no kids and it was Sunday evening so Alex called an end to the packing and pulled up a chair. We had already been talking about the week and I already knew he was going to spank me, I was just a bit quick in my responses to him that week. (Oh fine... Not quick... Grrrrr.. I was snarky and sliding close to disrespectful..) But I balked a bit at him sitting in the chair... He is usually sitting on a bed or sofa when we are "discussing" things and this chair thing was not looking very comfy for me. I mean the closest thing to him being in a chair was the time he dragged me into a family bathroom at the mall and he sat on the toilet... (He put the lid down and covered it with paper towels for all those that just got light headed from the amount of ewwwww that could be.) But I was really mad and he was really not happy so I don't remember looking around or caring about how comfortable it wasn't going to be. See, totally different mind set between punishment and reconnects!!!
After his second patting of his lap and the "get your butt over here" look, I went close enough to be pulled the rest of the way over. The problem with yoga paints being my all time favorite thing to wear, they are just too easy for him to maneuver down! So down they go and I am inspecting our new carpet VERY CLOSELY mind you and trying to get situated. Now at this angle I am either going to get to know the carpet pattern REALLY well or his feet, since they are right there. We put new carpeting in a few months ago, so we had a no shoe policy. My hubby loves his flip flops so he didn't have socks on and I usually only see his feet when we snuggle in bed and I am looking down at them. Now I am up close and personal with a side view and I am thinking... Wow, this man has REALLY hairy toes. I have one of those personalities where I sort of blurt things out without filtering them all the time.. Ugh. So in actuality I blurted it out instead of thinking it... Sigh. Alex had just gotten me where he wanted me and was now resting a hand on my bare bottom when this announcement was made.
"What? My toes are not hairy!"
"Oh I beg to differ, I have a really good side view at the moment and I am telling you them are some hairy toes you got there."
So I see his foot go up and he is moving his foot from side to side and I start to laugh..
"Oh wow, it just gets worse as you move it around from this angle, you need to shave them QUICK!"
"You are losing your mind, they are not that hairy..."
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK...
"Owe.. giggle..snort"
"Take it back...Take back the hairy toes comment."
I am trying to breath but it is super hard at this point and he starts tickling me, so any coherent response at this point was just not going to come out. He ended up picking me up like a bag of potatoes and we had really good bunny sex on the pool table.
Now back to our discussion last night.....
"Well bring on the research and let's see!"
"No, we are not talking toes right now we are talking about why you feel we are reconnect challenged."
"I just told you we only had one attempt work."
"I see it as each one was what we needed as a reconnect at that time, so I see each one so far as being successful. So this concerns me that you are seeing them differently and I want us to take a few minutes to talk about why you feel they are not working."
"Well I guess it is the thought of not knowing how each reconnect is going to go.. I mean punishment spankings are just that...The I need help spankings pretty much mimic the punishment only I feel different because I know you aren't upset with me, so it is more physical I guess then mental.. The mental release comes after..."
<insert dramatic sigh and humph back into the pillows>
"I know you like planning things, knowing how things will run.. So this is where I think our point of views are differing. You want to know going into our reconnects if you will be punished, given a few reminder/reconnect swats or we skip the spanking and end up making love. Which honey, I can tell you now that isn't going to happen. We need to let these reconnects play out in the situation we find ourselves in during that day and time. You need to relax and trust me to read the situation right and let me decide. You trust me during the other two types of spankings. You have even trusted me in our new fun spankings... Can you trust me in these re-connection moments is the question."
I was speechless.. Was I really not trusting him? How in the world could I be so blind... Or was it the personality of needing to know the absolute of how things were going to go that had me questioning things and in return making him think I wasn't trusting him. I started to cry.. The worst feeling in the world is thinking I have put that look on his face and make him feel like he lost my trust some how. He is my rock, I trust him completely... I said WE are reconnect challenged.. When it was really ME! What the heck is my problem????
He held me and we eventually fell asleep.. But I have been seriously off all day today and I can't wait to be home tonight and in his arms... I still don't have answers, but I am determined to take each reconnect as it comes!
So once my jaw was back up off the bed and I had the power of speech back..
"Alex all but one have been failures, the rest except for the one you ended up getting a complex about your toes have ended in punishment spankings."
"I don't have a toe complex, my toes are perfectly normal and have just the right amount of hair."
"Oh my gosh.. You googled pictures of men's toes didn't you? HA! Admit it, I know you did!!"
"I might have done a bit of research, but not because I had a complex but to prove to you that my toes are just fine."
Flash back about three weeks.....
We were at our old house getting the last bit of things boxed up in the basement (We couldn't stretch this move out anymore if we tried, it is seriously been going on for a month now!!) and our kids were over at the new house. We always reconnect on Sunday evenings so we were together with no kids and it was Sunday evening so Alex called an end to the packing and pulled up a chair. We had already been talking about the week and I already knew he was going to spank me, I was just a bit quick in my responses to him that week. (Oh fine... Not quick... Grrrrr.. I was snarky and sliding close to disrespectful..) But I balked a bit at him sitting in the chair... He is usually sitting on a bed or sofa when we are "discussing" things and this chair thing was not looking very comfy for me. I mean the closest thing to him being in a chair was the time he dragged me into a family bathroom at the mall and he sat on the toilet... (He put the lid down and covered it with paper towels for all those that just got light headed from the amount of ewwwww that could be.) But I was really mad and he was really not happy so I don't remember looking around or caring about how comfortable it wasn't going to be. See, totally different mind set between punishment and reconnects!!!
After his second patting of his lap and the "get your butt over here" look, I went close enough to be pulled the rest of the way over. The problem with yoga paints being my all time favorite thing to wear, they are just too easy for him to maneuver down! So down they go and I am inspecting our new carpet VERY CLOSELY mind you and trying to get situated. Now at this angle I am either going to get to know the carpet pattern REALLY well or his feet, since they are right there. We put new carpeting in a few months ago, so we had a no shoe policy. My hubby loves his flip flops so he didn't have socks on and I usually only see his feet when we snuggle in bed and I am looking down at them. Now I am up close and personal with a side view and I am thinking... Wow, this man has REALLY hairy toes. I have one of those personalities where I sort of blurt things out without filtering them all the time.. Ugh. So in actuality I blurted it out instead of thinking it... Sigh. Alex had just gotten me where he wanted me and was now resting a hand on my bare bottom when this announcement was made.
"What? My toes are not hairy!"
"Oh I beg to differ, I have a really good side view at the moment and I am telling you them are some hairy toes you got there."
So I see his foot go up and he is moving his foot from side to side and I start to laugh..
"Oh wow, it just gets worse as you move it around from this angle, you need to shave them QUICK!"
"You are losing your mind, they are not that hairy..."
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK...
"Owe.. giggle..snort"
"Take it back...Take back the hairy toes comment."
I am trying to breath but it is super hard at this point and he starts tickling me, so any coherent response at this point was just not going to come out. He ended up picking me up like a bag of potatoes and we had really good bunny sex on the pool table.
Now back to our discussion last night.....
"Well bring on the research and let's see!"
"No, we are not talking toes right now we are talking about why you feel we are reconnect challenged."
"I just told you we only had one attempt work."
"I see it as each one was what we needed as a reconnect at that time, so I see each one so far as being successful. So this concerns me that you are seeing them differently and I want us to take a few minutes to talk about why you feel they are not working."
"Well I guess it is the thought of not knowing how each reconnect is going to go.. I mean punishment spankings are just that...The I need help spankings pretty much mimic the punishment only I feel different because I know you aren't upset with me, so it is more physical I guess then mental.. The mental release comes after..."
<insert dramatic sigh and humph back into the pillows>
"I know you like planning things, knowing how things will run.. So this is where I think our point of views are differing. You want to know going into our reconnects if you will be punished, given a few reminder/reconnect swats or we skip the spanking and end up making love. Which honey, I can tell you now that isn't going to happen. We need to let these reconnects play out in the situation we find ourselves in during that day and time. You need to relax and trust me to read the situation right and let me decide. You trust me during the other two types of spankings. You have even trusted me in our new fun spankings... Can you trust me in these re-connection moments is the question."
I was speechless.. Was I really not trusting him? How in the world could I be so blind... Or was it the personality of needing to know the absolute of how things were going to go that had me questioning things and in return making him think I wasn't trusting him. I started to cry.. The worst feeling in the world is thinking I have put that look on his face and make him feel like he lost my trust some how. He is my rock, I trust him completely... I said WE are reconnect challenged.. When it was really ME! What the heck is my problem????
He held me and we eventually fell asleep.. But I have been seriously off all day today and I can't wait to be home tonight and in his arms... I still don't have answers, but I am determined to take each reconnect as it comes!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Lady Cave!
The warmth of the sun is perfect, not too hot just enough to warm the skin. The melody of crashing waves in the distance lulling me into relaxing and luring me into sleep. Even the slight breeze dancing through my hair is not enough to annoy but to calm and sooth, as I start to fall into sleep....
"Mom, hey Mom.... You awake?"
"Mom is in her happy place, please back away slowly and quietly."
"Um, Okay sure..But do we have any chips?"
"Master closet, in my sock drawer."
"Seriously Mom, why are chips in your sock drawer?"
"Why do we have chips in the middle of the week... Oh yeah, Mom hid them in her sock drawer."
"Huh, nice Mom.. Thanks!"
Now where was I ... Oh yeah, there was warm sun... Waves crashing in the distances and a breeze dancing through my...
"Hun, where are my dress shoes?"
"Storage, first unit, left side marked with a blue sticker and labelled 'Dress Clothes'."
"Storage huh, okay no problem I am going by there tomorrow so can pick them up. Thanks baby, sweet dreams."
Grrrrrrrr... Pounding on some pillows and readjusting the angle just a bit. Deep calming breath, I can do this.
Sun.. Check!
Waves... Yeah okay.. Check!
Breeze...
"Moooommmmmm, Shelly says she has permission to go to the party this weekend! I am like the only one not going to be there and that is just soooooo not good for my social life. You gotta let me go!"
"Talk to your Father, Mom is out of service and trying to find her happy place."
"But Moooommmmm, I need you on my side when I talk to Dad!"
Alright, eyes wide open now and to heck with the blankets and semi comfortable pillows.
"Honey, I say this with pure Mommy love... There is no way on God's green earth you will be attending that party this weekend! It is unsupervised, I know that family and the parents are out of town so don't even for a second think I don't know what will be at that party. You are too young and we love you to much to let you put yourself into that type of situation."
Now I am up and shuffling her towards the intercom.. "Family meeting... Living room.. Get a move on people!"
I put my hand up to silence the teenage rant and deploy my best 'Make My Day' look and Alex strolled in from the garage. It only took him a second to read the Mommy/Daughter stand off and take charge.
"Kaylee did you just wake your Mother, you know she needs her rest?"
"But I saw you just talking to her and Kyle was just in there before you!"
Now he was starting to get a clear picture of why I now stood frazzled and no where NEAR my happy place in the middle of the living room. Kyle strolled in carry a half eaten bag of chips, plopped down on my clean and crumb free sofa and did his best "What up people?"
I had a wonderful LOL day and had so much fun with all the blog hopping, but by midnight I was in the ER. I spent most the morning and into the next day in the hospital with a very high fever and massive infection. The right side of my face was swollen, my teeth hurt... It was miserable! I had gotten the sinus infection from hell!! Ugh. So I was sent home with lots of GOOD drugs and told to rest. I am a very active person and it's hard for me to relax, let alone to a nap in the middle of the day. So it was already a challenge to rest on Thursday, but to have constant interruptions. Ugh.
Alex came and swooped me up and started for the stairs.. "Mom is officially off limits until further notice."
He tucked me into bed and got the heating pad for me to put on my face. He stayed with me until I was finally asleep and then he went down and took care of the troops. I am MUCH better this week and happy to report that Kaylee's social life has not been stunted and she had a great weekend decorating the new house. I have a new hiding place for the chips, so Kyle has some hopes of having chips later this week.... The biggest surprise... Alex is making my very own lady cave in the new finished basement!!! Wow, my very own space where I am just me and not wife, mom or worker bee... My new cave should be done by Christmas!
"Mom, hey Mom.... You awake?"
"Mom is in her happy place, please back away slowly and quietly."
"Um, Okay sure..But do we have any chips?"
"Master closet, in my sock drawer."
"Seriously Mom, why are chips in your sock drawer?"
"Why do we have chips in the middle of the week... Oh yeah, Mom hid them in her sock drawer."
"Huh, nice Mom.. Thanks!"
Now where was I ... Oh yeah, there was warm sun... Waves crashing in the distances and a breeze dancing through my...
"Hun, where are my dress shoes?"
"Storage, first unit, left side marked with a blue sticker and labelled 'Dress Clothes'."
"Storage huh, okay no problem I am going by there tomorrow so can pick them up. Thanks baby, sweet dreams."
Grrrrrrrr... Pounding on some pillows and readjusting the angle just a bit. Deep calming breath, I can do this.
Sun.. Check!
Waves... Yeah okay.. Check!
Breeze...
"Moooommmmmm, Shelly says she has permission to go to the party this weekend! I am like the only one not going to be there and that is just soooooo not good for my social life. You gotta let me go!"
"Talk to your Father, Mom is out of service and trying to find her happy place."
"But Moooommmmm, I need you on my side when I talk to Dad!"
Alright, eyes wide open now and to heck with the blankets and semi comfortable pillows.
"Honey, I say this with pure Mommy love... There is no way on God's green earth you will be attending that party this weekend! It is unsupervised, I know that family and the parents are out of town so don't even for a second think I don't know what will be at that party. You are too young and we love you to much to let you put yourself into that type of situation."
Now I am up and shuffling her towards the intercom.. "Family meeting... Living room.. Get a move on people!"
I put my hand up to silence the teenage rant and deploy my best 'Make My Day' look and Alex strolled in from the garage. It only took him a second to read the Mommy/Daughter stand off and take charge.
"Kaylee did you just wake your Mother, you know she needs her rest?"
"But I saw you just talking to her and Kyle was just in there before you!"
Now he was starting to get a clear picture of why I now stood frazzled and no where NEAR my happy place in the middle of the living room. Kyle strolled in carry a half eaten bag of chips, plopped down on my clean and crumb free sofa and did his best "What up people?"
I had a wonderful LOL day and had so much fun with all the blog hopping, but by midnight I was in the ER. I spent most the morning and into the next day in the hospital with a very high fever and massive infection. The right side of my face was swollen, my teeth hurt... It was miserable! I had gotten the sinus infection from hell!! Ugh. So I was sent home with lots of GOOD drugs and told to rest. I am a very active person and it's hard for me to relax, let alone to a nap in the middle of the day. So it was already a challenge to rest on Thursday, but to have constant interruptions. Ugh.
Alex came and swooped me up and started for the stairs.. "Mom is officially off limits until further notice."
He tucked me into bed and got the heating pad for me to put on my face. He stayed with me until I was finally asleep and then he went down and took care of the troops. I am MUCH better this week and happy to report that Kaylee's social life has not been stunted and she had a great weekend decorating the new house. I have a new hiding place for the chips, so Kyle has some hopes of having chips later this week.... The biggest surprise... Alex is making my very own lady cave in the new finished basement!!! Wow, my very own space where I am just me and not wife, mom or worker bee... My new cave should be done by Christmas!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Can you hear me now?
By request, this post is to give more insight into my "spanky family". :0)
Chase (39 yrs old) - He lost his first wife to cancer (they had twin boys (14 yrs old) and a girl (12 years old)), but has remarried (2 years ago) and I don't know yet on the DD (they have a 6 month old boy)
Jay (37 yrs old) - Married to Lori (18.5 years), 6 kids they have practiced DD for the past 2.5 years
Mark (32 yrs old) - Married to Stacey (4.5 years), 2 kids and they practice DD
Laci (30 yrs old) - Not married, but loves to be the fun Aunt
Steven (28 yrs old) - Married to Amy (2 years), they have a two month old little girl and they practice DD
Kenzie (25 yrs old) - Engaged and due to get married March of 2014
Tony (21 yrs old) - In college and a heart breaker... Sigh.
So what is most helpful is that Lori and I are the same age and have known each other for a very long time. Plus she married my best friend, so I know him some times better than she does or can give her dirt on him from our childhood. (Yeah, cause that has never gotten me into trouble...Lie detector says: WRONG!) Stacey and Amy are only a year a part in age and clicked the second they met, so they have built a really good support system between them. All four of us get along very well and we usually have a good grape vine communication between us. So if one of us lands into some trouble the other three will be there for moral support, advice or all out venting. It's when the four of us get together and have a glass or two (maybe three) of wine that we usually ALL end up in trouble. (You gotta have some fun right?)
Jay and Lori are moving only a few blocks from us in early January, so that is going to be AMAZING! Right now they live about 2 hours from us, so we still see each other at least once or twice a month. Mark/Stacey and Steven/Amy all live within an hour of us, so we see them just as often, in fact we all take turns hosting a monthly BBQ between our homes. It's an open invitation to his entire family and mine, but the majority of the time it is just our four families. The rest of his family is scattered between our state and where we grew up in the mid-west. My parents do the six month split between here and the mid-west so they avoid snow in the winter and super hot temperatures in the summer. My brother is married with two children, but he moved two years ago to the east coast. (I really miss them..)
So prior to the BBQ weekend Lori had said she got a call from Stacey informing her that Amy had landed herself over Steven's lap yet again. She has been spending a good deal of time over his knee since the baby was born and she is getting really done with the whole DD concept. Lori and I suspect it is the lack of spanking during her later pregnancy that has caused them to get out of rhythm. So we were going to find a creative way of letting her know that Steven was probably just trying to get them back into a study rhythm again. (With her you can't go straight in, you have to dance around the issue a bit.) We left the conversation with both of us thinking of how to broach this particular subject with her and regroup to see who was going to do the honors. Well, we didn't get a chance to regroup and with my move and kid's school activities I didn't have a chance to come up with anything. Lori must have similar excuses too, as we found ourselves looking at each other doing the eyes/eyebrow who is doing what communication.
The men were in Steven's "man cave", this is another tradition as all of them have one. I don't mind, in fact I love that Alex has a place to shut himself away and relax. (He makes a mess, he cleans it up.. I don't even look into his man cave.) We women were in the kitchen enjoying a glass of wine and getting dinner ready. The kids were in the backyard and the baby was sleeping upstairs, so we had time to chat and catch up. This is where Lori and I started have eye wars about what was to be said and by whom. After our first glass of wine we decided why not one more, we still were going to eat so no harm in it really... So we were about mid point into our second glasses when I noticed a Verizon bill on the counter by their phone and I had a light bulb moment. I looked at Lori in triumph and she rolled her eyes and humphed at me like it took you long enough. (We do non verbal communication REALLY well, no one will let us be partners in Charades.)
Just as inspiration struct the baby monitor went off and we could hear little Beth was now awake, so we topped off our glasses (not a full glass refill, so it doesn't count!) and all went up to see her. As Amy started to change Beth, I made my start... "Do you all remember those silly commercials with that guy that wonders all over the world and does the "Can you hear me now?" thing for Verizon." I got two yeahs and a "what the heck" look from Lori, which I shot back a "give me a minute" look in return. (I told you we are scary good at the non-verbal.) So I ventured on... "I was just thinking DD is sorta like that..." Now I had everyone's attention, even little Beth was blowing baby bubbles in my direction at this point. "I mean really if the provider doesn't offer good enough service, the reception is crappy and the customer is unhappy and frustrated."
"Just as if our husbands didn't provide strong enough direction/correction we would be frustrated and unhappy. You see we are the customers and our bottoms are the receivers if you will... If their direction/service is not strong enough and we don't get the message we need, well we are frustrated by it." You see this all started out in a very innocent way, I was being helpful and creative!!! (You can stop laughing now, cause I know you are!!!) Amy was the first to recover from my little analogy, she said "great, now every time I get spanked I will feel like the Verizon guy is watching." It all went down hill from there.... Stacey gladly chimed in and said "well maybe we all should just stick to land lines, and forget the cell phones all together." (Yeah, next time we need to bring her in on the plan ahead of time.) But then Lori of all people came in with... "Well maybe the shape or size of the receiver could impact reception.. Or better yet the service providers strength would be a factor too. Not all services are built the same right?" Which then led Amy to "Let's just admit is lady's our husbands are just spank happy and no matter the type of build or shape of our butts...They just spank!" Now you would think that Lori or I would have steered this back around at this point, being the older and more experienced wives...
Oh how I wish one of us would have been smart enough (sober enough) to sense the danger this was heading. "Oh they don't spank, they "discuss" things with us." (Yes, that was me... Sigh) We then all went on a tirade of male bashing and spank happy spouses, at one point Stacey even threw out they all need a spanking themselves. It was all giggles and they need to see our point of view once in a while or give us get out of jail free cards to negotiate with. We had quite a few brilliant ideas of how to improve our husbands and how they ran things. This went on for at least 20 minutes before Beth got fussy and pulled us back to changing her.
Guess what else gets great reception in Stacey's house?
The baby monitor, that was still on and broadcasting our conversation to all the men who had come looking for us to see about dinner. Yup, they stood there and listened to ALL of it. So when we finally collected ourselves and headed back downstairs, it was the sight of four very angry men we saw standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting on us. Dinner was pretty late that night and we are all going to do are best not to EVER male bash again... When the baby monitor is close by! HA!
Come on, it will happen again, we are only human after all. But it will be quite some time, as the service providers were very strong and the receivers all got the message very well!! In fact during our "discussion" at home later that night, Alex asked me... "Do you hear me now, or do we need to discuss this more?" with a few swats to ensure the message was getting through... Grrrrrrr.
Alex's family tree:
Alex (41 yrs old) - Married to me (17.5 years), 2 kids and we have always practiced DD
Chase (39 yrs old) - He lost his first wife to cancer (they had twin boys (14 yrs old) and a girl (12 years old)), but has remarried (2 years ago) and I don't know yet on the DD (they have a 6 month old boy)
Jay (37 yrs old) - Married to Lori (18.5 years), 6 kids they have practiced DD for the past 2.5 years
Mark (32 yrs old) - Married to Stacey (4.5 years), 2 kids and they practice DD
Laci (30 yrs old) - Not married, but loves to be the fun Aunt
Steven (28 yrs old) - Married to Amy (2 years), they have a two month old little girl and they practice DD
Kenzie (25 yrs old) - Engaged and due to get married March of 2014
Tony (21 yrs old) - In college and a heart breaker... Sigh.
The usual family tree, just not large enough!!
So what is most helpful is that Lori and I are the same age and have known each other for a very long time. Plus she married my best friend, so I know him some times better than she does or can give her dirt on him from our childhood. (Yeah, cause that has never gotten me into trouble...Lie detector says: WRONG!) Stacey and Amy are only a year a part in age and clicked the second they met, so they have built a really good support system between them. All four of us get along very well and we usually have a good grape vine communication between us. So if one of us lands into some trouble the other three will be there for moral support, advice or all out venting. It's when the four of us get together and have a glass or two (maybe three) of wine that we usually ALL end up in trouble. (You gotta have some fun right?)
I am the only one that drinks red, but I will convert one of them!!
It was our last BBQ get together that I am going to share with you.
So prior to the BBQ weekend Lori had said she got a call from Stacey informing her that Amy had landed herself over Steven's lap yet again. She has been spending a good deal of time over his knee since the baby was born and she is getting really done with the whole DD concept. Lori and I suspect it is the lack of spanking during her later pregnancy that has caused them to get out of rhythm. So we were going to find a creative way of letting her know that Steven was probably just trying to get them back into a study rhythm again. (With her you can't go straight in, you have to dance around the issue a bit.) We left the conversation with both of us thinking of how to broach this particular subject with her and regroup to see who was going to do the honors. Well, we didn't get a chance to regroup and with my move and kid's school activities I didn't have a chance to come up with anything. Lori must have similar excuses too, as we found ourselves looking at each other doing the eyes/eyebrow who is doing what communication.
The men were in Steven's "man cave", this is another tradition as all of them have one. I don't mind, in fact I love that Alex has a place to shut himself away and relax. (He makes a mess, he cleans it up.. I don't even look into his man cave.) We women were in the kitchen enjoying a glass of wine and getting dinner ready. The kids were in the backyard and the baby was sleeping upstairs, so we had time to chat and catch up. This is where Lori and I started have eye wars about what was to be said and by whom. After our first glass of wine we decided why not one more, we still were going to eat so no harm in it really... So we were about mid point into our second glasses when I noticed a Verizon bill on the counter by their phone and I had a light bulb moment. I looked at Lori in triumph and she rolled her eyes and humphed at me like it took you long enough. (We do non verbal communication REALLY well, no one will let us be partners in Charades.)
Just as inspiration struct the baby monitor went off and we could hear little Beth was now awake, so we topped off our glasses (not a full glass refill, so it doesn't count!) and all went up to see her. As Amy started to change Beth, I made my start... "Do you all remember those silly commercials with that guy that wonders all over the world and does the "Can you hear me now?" thing for Verizon." I got two yeahs and a "what the heck" look from Lori, which I shot back a "give me a minute" look in return. (I told you we are scary good at the non-verbal.) So I ventured on... "I was just thinking DD is sorta like that..." Now I had everyone's attention, even little Beth was blowing baby bubbles in my direction at this point. "I mean really if the provider doesn't offer good enough service, the reception is crappy and the customer is unhappy and frustrated."
"Just as if our husbands didn't provide strong enough direction/correction we would be frustrated and unhappy. You see we are the customers and our bottoms are the receivers if you will... If their direction/service is not strong enough and we don't get the message we need, well we are frustrated by it." You see this all started out in a very innocent way, I was being helpful and creative!!! (You can stop laughing now, cause I know you are!!!) Amy was the first to recover from my little analogy, she said "great, now every time I get spanked I will feel like the Verizon guy is watching." It all went down hill from there.... Stacey gladly chimed in and said "well maybe we all should just stick to land lines, and forget the cell phones all together." (Yeah, next time we need to bring her in on the plan ahead of time.) But then Lori of all people came in with... "Well maybe the shape or size of the receiver could impact reception.. Or better yet the service providers strength would be a factor too. Not all services are built the same right?" Which then led Amy to "Let's just admit is lady's our husbands are just spank happy and no matter the type of build or shape of our butts...They just spank!" Now you would think that Lori or I would have steered this back around at this point, being the older and more experienced wives...
Oh how I wish one of us would have been smart enough (sober enough) to sense the danger this was heading. "Oh they don't spank, they "discuss" things with us." (Yes, that was me... Sigh) We then all went on a tirade of male bashing and spank happy spouses, at one point Stacey even threw out they all need a spanking themselves. It was all giggles and they need to see our point of view once in a while or give us get out of jail free cards to negotiate with. We had quite a few brilliant ideas of how to improve our husbands and how they ran things. This went on for at least 20 minutes before Beth got fussy and pulled us back to changing her.
Guess what else gets great reception in Stacey's house?
The baby monitor, that was still on and broadcasting our conversation to all the men who had come looking for us to see about dinner. Yup, they stood there and listened to ALL of it. So when we finally collected ourselves and headed back downstairs, it was the sight of four very angry men we saw standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting on us. Dinner was pretty late that night and we are all going to do are best not to EVER male bash again... When the baby monitor is close by! HA!
Come on, it will happen again, we are only human after all. But it will be quite some time, as the service providers were very strong and the receivers all got the message very well!! In fact during our "discussion" at home later that night, Alex asked me... "Do you hear me now, or do we need to discuss this more?" with a few swats to ensure the message was getting through... Grrrrrrr.
I really don't like that Verizon guy at all.....
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Loving Me Some Lurkers!
This post is dedicated to all the lovely lurkers that come by and read but for whatever reason shy away from saying hi....
I love to hear from people and so this is my plea to you... Come out of hiding and say a quick hello.
I love to hear from people and so this is my plea to you... Come out of hiding and say a quick hello.
Well, I can help with that!!!
De-Lurk Question List:
Take a look at the questions below, if you want to answer only one... That is great or if you get into it and want to answer more, then go with it!! I will start out with super easy and get more personal so you have lots to pick from. You don 't even have to tell me your name!!! :0)
1. What is your most favorite movie character (not the actor/actress playing the character) and why?
2. What is the best introduction to a character you have seen in a movie and why do you feel it is the best or remembered?
3. What movie have you watched the most times and could continue watching over and over?
4. Wine or beer or other?
5. Night out or night in?
6. Gym or Ice cream shop?
7. How many blogs do you currently follow?
8. Are you a spankno or spanko?
9. Do you practice in a DD relationship or just interested in reading these types of blogs?
10. If you could pick a subject for a future blog post what would it be?
Ok, there now you have a variety of things to get you started...
But even if you don't de-lurk, I would still like to say:
For coming by and reading my little blog!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Have you ever asked to be spanked?
I am a complete water snob! There, I am out.. I have confessed to my water snobbery.. I have water delivered, have had since I got pregnant with my son. I don't trust the city water and I know that not all water bottled is a good thing either, but I trust this company. The new house we are moving into has a super techie water filter on the entire house and a private well, so no more water jugs! The jugs are 5 gallons and the water unit is pretty tall, so you have to lift the jugs and turn them over just right or water is on the walls...floors.. you. It can be a mess. I had an accident earlier this year and my back will just never be the same, so I was outlawed from touching the jugs. If one needs to be changed it is my son or Alex and no one else is to mess with them. The last two times that I have messed with the water jugs I was super stressed out. I have a lot going on with my new position at work, selling our home and getting ready to move into our new home. Plus the lovely daily adventures that teenagers bring to life and our monster puppy that eats anything that can't out run him. I just have had a lot going on... So when I came home the other night and I couldn't get my nice cold glass of water because the jug was out.... Grrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrr! I am getting that water one way or another it WILL be mine.
I softly announced we are out of water and could one of the strong men of the house please come fix the situation. (Oh fine, I bellowed we are out of water and was some one going to fix it before I did it myself!) My only response was my daughter yelling down that the guys were not home and could I keep it down she is on a very important call and her friend is crying so she needed her full attention. Well then by all means honey girl go on back to your teenage drama cause I am about to create a full on adult drama of my very own thank you very much.
The one on the right is almost the exact one we have...
I went to the closet we keep the jugs.. I rolled one over to the kitchen and up to the dispenser and went to remove the empty. It's almost like the jug was trying to help me out.. Seriously it wouldn't come off! Maybe the jug thought if I was given more time to rethink this situation I would come to my senses and all would turn out well. Poor sweet water jug...I was just way past coming to my senses at this point, I was going to have my victory... Oh yes, I was. I finally got the jug off and made a decent mess with it, so I took it to the closet and grabbed a dish rag to clean up. Now if I was thinking more clearly I would have waited to clean after I got the other jug on because there is just no way I am going to not make a mess doing this. Alright we are dry (yes we, the dispenser is in this with me now), the floor is dry and I am prying the lid off the new water jug. Just as I am bending down to lift the water jug I hear a gasp from behind me... My daughter must have wrapped up the teenage drama and was now wondering into my adult drama and she didn't want any part of mine. She said as much and ran back up the stairs to be sure she had the distance to stay out of trouble. (Well fine you little trader, just wait until you want another pair of designer shoes!!!)
I GOT THIS....
I got the jug on... Water was literally dripping from my arms, but it was on the dispenser and I did it!! HA!! Victory is mine....And that was the front door that just shut and here comes the guys. I just have to marvel at how my husband always shows up just in time to catch me in the act. My parents don't know a third of the junk I got into as a child, because they didn't have the knack of timing like Alex. That is my theory anyway.
I have had several people ask me if I have ever asked Alex to spank me, for stress release or guilt. I can honestly say I have never verbally asked him to spank me. Have I gotten him to spank me to release stress or guilt? Well, I had never thought about spanking as anything but a punishment until recently. This water jug incident just happen last Friday so this question made me stop and really think.. I have never verbally asked for a spanking but I sure as heck have made sure I got one. Sigh.
Alex and I had our re-connection meeting on Sunday and we talked about this question and what I had concluded from the Friday incident. He agrees, I haven't lost my mind but I definitely need to lower my stress and if that means asking for help or him keeping me closer for a while it needs to happen. I think in the end we agreed to both, but I am just happy he is going to keep a closer eye on me, as I am not sure I have the guts to ask for a trip over his knee.. Now if it was for a fun spanking..... Totally different answer!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
How We Got Together & Started DD - Part 4
Thanks for all the wonderful support on these posts sharing the beginning of our story! Alex and I have had a blast with these, me writing and him telling me everything I left out (maybe some of my more colorful moments) or that he is not as romantic as I am making him sound. To that I say BLAH.. ARE TOO, ARE TOO! :0)
In order to deliver on my word of 4 parts, this post is super long.. My apologies, grab a drink and get comfy.
I should start with a incident that occurred over Spring Break, as that actually was a factor in us ending up in a ditch... I guess. :0)
I am convinced that every neighborhood has that one person/couple that deems themselves the cop or watch guard of the ENTIRE neighborhood. They start of course with anything concerning THEIR yard first and then branch out to "What is best" for the neighborhood in general. (Yeah, you all know who I am talking about!)
Mrs. Seeders lived in the corner house on the end of my street right where the bus stops for all the schools, elementary through high school. That was also the only corner that had a stop sign in the entire neighborhood. There was a lot of speculation among the youth in the neighborhood and even a few adults that she had the sign put in and not the county. We just had very little traffic and the traffic that did pass through were parents or knew that we had lots of children on bikes and in yards so they went really slow. Mrs. Seeders would decorate this stop sign for every season and make a big production while doing it too! (Who does that???)
She would sit out on her front porch with her lemonade and notebook and just wait for something to report. If any children even got close to stepping off the sidewalk into her front yard, it was IN the book. By the end of the week she would tally her notes and start the phone calls so that each parent had a good account of their children and probably an ear full about some others. I swear that if the phone rang on a Sunday night people in the neighborhood cringed in fear. I think she had called my parents at least twice to inform them my brother should sign up for NASCAR as he surely didn't know how do drive anyway but fast down our street.
Lori and I had wanted to make some money so we offered to watch a few kids during Spring Break while their parents were at work. We had about 8 or 9 kids, which wasn't too bad and for the most part it was an easy week. There was a bit of bribery, as we had promised the kids if they were good all week on Friday we would walk them down to the store and buy them some candy. Everything was fine until our return trip and kids juiced up on sugar decided to cut across Mrs. Seeders yard. Now to be fair some of these kids were from other neighborhoods so they didn't know and we had neglected to tell them about this fun lady. So when she came running outside screaming about respecting property and crying her flowers would never recover.... Well she scared two of the little girls into tears and I lost it. I ran over and picked the youngest one up (right through her yard and flowers) and turned on her.. "Your flowers are not in any danger and these two don't know the pleasure you bring to this neighborhood and how to avoid it. They were being kids and running, they didn't mean any disrespect... Good day!" I turned and grabbed the hand of the other girl and once Lori saw me in motion she gathered the rest and on we marched. We made it almost half way down the street before we all started laughing hysterically. Which I am sure just fueled the situation even further, but we were teenagers mind you and that lady would drive a saint crazy.
Mrs. Seeders didn't wait until Sunday night to call, she actually got dressed in her best and invaded us during dinner. I knew the second I saw her at the door what was coming and just wanted to slide under the table and disappear. Had I been smart, I would have told my parents what happen and to avoid the phone on Sunday night at all costs. But I hadn't think she would march herself down the road for a direct report of what happen earlier. Well after it was all said and done, I was told to apologize and put on restriction of one week. Both my parents were sure that Mrs. Seeders had over reacted but that my response to her overreaction could have been better and more respectful. Grrrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Skip forward two months..
A few of us were together trying to figure out the ultimate senior prank, as we wanted to go out with a bang. Not sure I have mentioned this or not, but Lori and Jay.. Water and oil, they didn't get along at ALL!! Having any kind of normal conversation with these to involved was a major challenge and this time wasn't any different. I don't remember now how they got around to the day of my encounter with Mrs. Seeders but they did and I guess maybe I had forgotten to tell Jay what had gone down. He was NOT happy, but I was able to get him back to senior pranks. I just knew in the back of my mind that this wouldn't be the end of it... Oh how right I was. Sigh. The guys wanted to flood the court yard and show up in bathing suits with rafts. But the girls thought maybe we could one up that so we decided to do our own thing. So we split and Lori and I brainstormed for days... Until one afternoon she went with me to feed Max, he was the laziest bull dog I have ever met. I would dog sit for him when his family went on trips and they paid me to come "play" with him for thirty minutes a day. Lori and I were sitting on the back swing while Max ate and brilliance struck...
Lori: "You know Max looks just like Buddy."
Me: "Buddy, as in the school mascot and principal's dog Buddy?"
Lori: "Yeah, like the one no one has ever been able to steal as a prank."
Me: "Oh girl... We are going to go down in history for this!"
So our plan was to take Max around town and take pictures and then post them up all over the school.. Buddy's senior prank field trip would be our theme and just let them try to top that! Three days later we borrowed Jay's truck and went to get Max. It only just occurred to us when we picked him up that Buddy might have been just a bit darker. So in yet another moment of brilliance, I went and got into my father's shoe polish and we added a bit of brown to Max. We got in the truck and were on our way only to find out why the family didn't travel with Max along. He hated being on the road, he was all over the place and Lori was having a hard time keeping hold of him. I managed to drive one block down and over and then Max got loose and he knocked the stick shift and I freaked and started to swerve just when another truck was coming out of the other cross street. Now this wouldn't have been a problem a few hours earlier, as the other truck would have had a stop sign. The one and only stop sign that Mrs. Seeders dearly loved.... WAS GONE! Well Lori and I ended up in the ditch and the other truck... Of all the luck, was Alex and Jay. So one minute I was doing the girl freak scream and the next I was being pulled out of the truck into Alex's arms. I don't know who was shaking more at that point, but Max decided to do a duty on the floor to show he was right there with us.
Alex took Max out and put him in his truck and came back and marched me to the back of his truck only to notice he was covered in brown. I could tell from the look on his face he thought the dog had done an extra duty on him so I quickly told him not to worry it was shoe polish not pooh. Not sure that really helped at the moment, as his face seemed to get even redder and wow... I think this was the first time I ever saw his eyebrow go so high into his hair line. (I really know that look now, but then this was new to me.)
Alex: "I suggest you start telling me why you were all over the road and eventually ended up in that ditch!"
At that comment he swiveled around to Mrs. Seeders yard and scratched his head...
Alex: "Where is the stop sign?"
Then he turned back to me with hands on his hips and started to advance. I started to back up and explain very quickly what had happen..
Me: "Well you see... Lori and I were going to pull the best senior prank ever... I mean EVER! See Max looks like Buddy, only not brown enough so we put shoe polish on him and now he is super brown. Then we borrowed Jay's truck to take Max around town and take picture of his senior field trip so we can put them around school and show everyone we did the ultimate prank. Only Max doesn't travel well and Lori lost her grip... Maybe the shoe polish was a bad idea. But it was all almost under control until you didn't stop and I saw a truck and swerved even more into the ditch."
At the look on his face clearly that last part wasn't said very well... He was still advancing and I had pretty much almost circled his truck at this point.
Me: "Oh nooooo.. I am not saying it was your fault, I mean the stop sign was clearly gone. So why stop right? And you obviously didn't know Max was going nuts or anything, I mean why would you?
At this point I looked over to Jay and Lori for moral support, as things were just not going very well for me. Only they were not interested in us at all, they were too busy making out at the front of Jay's truck!!! Oh yeah, they are getting along GREAT now. This also got Alex's attention so he became the alpha male and people started to scramble. I was put into his truck and told not to move. He and Jay got Jay's truck out of the ditch and they exchanged a few words. Lori was told she would be getting a ride home from Jay and I would talk with her later. Alex and I took Max home, gave him a bath and some extra bones to keep him silent... (Yeah, like he was going to rat us out!)
Then Alex decided a walk up to the pond was in order and off we went, minus bread so I just knew this wasn't going to be as fun as our last pond experience. When we got into the clearing, the stop sign in all its glory was there, with another sign posted below it...'Unless you have bread, then keep coming!' I couldn't help it.. I had to laugh, it was super funny and I knew right away Jay was behind it all. But that was just really not the right time to laugh. He grabbed my arm and marched me to the first log he found and over his knee I went...
Smack, smack, smack....
Alex:"Woman... You are going to give me gray hair. I told you if you ever put yourself in harms way again you would be over my knee. Well here we are and you will remember this for a long time coming. I don't even want to think of what could have happen to you. If I find out you had anything to do with that stop sign..."
This went on for a VERY long time.. I went from confusion to shock and straight forward to remorse and LOTS of tears by the time he was done. He held me and rocked me for a good thirty minutes before I could mumble around his chest..
Me:"You actually spanked me! That really hurt....(Hiccup) I didn't think you would."
Alex: "Oh didn't you little one?"
<Insert long dramatic sigh here.......>
Me:"Yeah, fine. I guess in the back of my head it was always a possibility you are just that alpha you might actually do it. Plus you usually do what you say you are going to do, you are stubborn that way."
Alex:"You really want to throw stones right now?"
Me:"Um... You are stubborn in a really HOT kinda way...."
We had a very long talk about his grandparents and their marriage and how he wanted to model our relationship after them. He would clearly be the head of our relationship and together we would work through anything as long as we had the trust in each other that each of us would do our part. I knew his grandparents and it was very easy to see the love they had together and so I was sure that this was a good idea. I also trusted Alex, because even though I was sitting on his lap with a very sore/hot bottom, I also felt loved and safe. It was almost 4 years later that I finally told anyone what happen that day by the pond... My sister-in-law, Lori.
Jay and Lori married one year before us and have six children... Yes, six... Four girls (Jay so deserves that) and two boys. Their oldest is graduating from high school this year, so I am now thinking Lori and I need to watch for any plans on a senior prank!
In order to deliver on my word of 4 parts, this post is super long.. My apologies, grab a drink and get comfy.
I should start with a incident that occurred over Spring Break, as that actually was a factor in us ending up in a ditch... I guess. :0)
I am convinced that every neighborhood has that one person/couple that deems themselves the cop or watch guard of the ENTIRE neighborhood. They start of course with anything concerning THEIR yard first and then branch out to "What is best" for the neighborhood in general. (Yeah, you all know who I am talking about!)
Mrs. Seeders lived in the corner house on the end of my street right where the bus stops for all the schools, elementary through high school. That was also the only corner that had a stop sign in the entire neighborhood. There was a lot of speculation among the youth in the neighborhood and even a few adults that she had the sign put in and not the county. We just had very little traffic and the traffic that did pass through were parents or knew that we had lots of children on bikes and in yards so they went really slow. Mrs. Seeders would decorate this stop sign for every season and make a big production while doing it too! (Who does that???)
She would sit out on her front porch with her lemonade and notebook and just wait for something to report. If any children even got close to stepping off the sidewalk into her front yard, it was IN the book. By the end of the week she would tally her notes and start the phone calls so that each parent had a good account of their children and probably an ear full about some others. I swear that if the phone rang on a Sunday night people in the neighborhood cringed in fear. I think she had called my parents at least twice to inform them my brother should sign up for NASCAR as he surely didn't know how do drive anyway but fast down our street.
Lori and I had wanted to make some money so we offered to watch a few kids during Spring Break while their parents were at work. We had about 8 or 9 kids, which wasn't too bad and for the most part it was an easy week. There was a bit of bribery, as we had promised the kids if they were good all week on Friday we would walk them down to the store and buy them some candy. Everything was fine until our return trip and kids juiced up on sugar decided to cut across Mrs. Seeders yard. Now to be fair some of these kids were from other neighborhoods so they didn't know and we had neglected to tell them about this fun lady. So when she came running outside screaming about respecting property and crying her flowers would never recover.... Well she scared two of the little girls into tears and I lost it. I ran over and picked the youngest one up (right through her yard and flowers) and turned on her.. "Your flowers are not in any danger and these two don't know the pleasure you bring to this neighborhood and how to avoid it. They were being kids and running, they didn't mean any disrespect... Good day!" I turned and grabbed the hand of the other girl and once Lori saw me in motion she gathered the rest and on we marched. We made it almost half way down the street before we all started laughing hysterically. Which I am sure just fueled the situation even further, but we were teenagers mind you and that lady would drive a saint crazy.
Mrs. Seeders didn't wait until Sunday night to call, she actually got dressed in her best and invaded us during dinner. I knew the second I saw her at the door what was coming and just wanted to slide under the table and disappear. Had I been smart, I would have told my parents what happen and to avoid the phone on Sunday night at all costs. But I hadn't think she would march herself down the road for a direct report of what happen earlier. Well after it was all said and done, I was told to apologize and put on restriction of one week. Both my parents were sure that Mrs. Seeders had over reacted but that my response to her overreaction could have been better and more respectful. Grrrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Skip forward two months..
A few of us were together trying to figure out the ultimate senior prank, as we wanted to go out with a bang. Not sure I have mentioned this or not, but Lori and Jay.. Water and oil, they didn't get along at ALL!! Having any kind of normal conversation with these to involved was a major challenge and this time wasn't any different. I don't remember now how they got around to the day of my encounter with Mrs. Seeders but they did and I guess maybe I had forgotten to tell Jay what had gone down. He was NOT happy, but I was able to get him back to senior pranks. I just knew in the back of my mind that this wouldn't be the end of it... Oh how right I was. Sigh. The guys wanted to flood the court yard and show up in bathing suits with rafts. But the girls thought maybe we could one up that so we decided to do our own thing. So we split and Lori and I brainstormed for days... Until one afternoon she went with me to feed Max, he was the laziest bull dog I have ever met. I would dog sit for him when his family went on trips and they paid me to come "play" with him for thirty minutes a day. Lori and I were sitting on the back swing while Max ate and brilliance struck...
Lori: "You know Max looks just like Buddy."
Me: "Buddy, as in the school mascot and principal's dog Buddy?"
Lori: "Yeah, like the one no one has ever been able to steal as a prank."
Me: "Oh girl... We are going to go down in history for this!"
So our plan was to take Max around town and take pictures and then post them up all over the school.. Buddy's senior prank field trip would be our theme and just let them try to top that! Three days later we borrowed Jay's truck and went to get Max. It only just occurred to us when we picked him up that Buddy might have been just a bit darker. So in yet another moment of brilliance, I went and got into my father's shoe polish and we added a bit of brown to Max. We got in the truck and were on our way only to find out why the family didn't travel with Max along. He hated being on the road, he was all over the place and Lori was having a hard time keeping hold of him. I managed to drive one block down and over and then Max got loose and he knocked the stick shift and I freaked and started to swerve just when another truck was coming out of the other cross street. Now this wouldn't have been a problem a few hours earlier, as the other truck would have had a stop sign. The one and only stop sign that Mrs. Seeders dearly loved.... WAS GONE! Well Lori and I ended up in the ditch and the other truck... Of all the luck, was Alex and Jay. So one minute I was doing the girl freak scream and the next I was being pulled out of the truck into Alex's arms. I don't know who was shaking more at that point, but Max decided to do a duty on the floor to show he was right there with us.
Alex took Max out and put him in his truck and came back and marched me to the back of his truck only to notice he was covered in brown. I could tell from the look on his face he thought the dog had done an extra duty on him so I quickly told him not to worry it was shoe polish not pooh. Not sure that really helped at the moment, as his face seemed to get even redder and wow... I think this was the first time I ever saw his eyebrow go so high into his hair line. (I really know that look now, but then this was new to me.)
Alex: "I suggest you start telling me why you were all over the road and eventually ended up in that ditch!"
At that comment he swiveled around to Mrs. Seeders yard and scratched his head...
Alex: "Where is the stop sign?"
Then he turned back to me with hands on his hips and started to advance. I started to back up and explain very quickly what had happen..
Me: "Well you see... Lori and I were going to pull the best senior prank ever... I mean EVER! See Max looks like Buddy, only not brown enough so we put shoe polish on him and now he is super brown. Then we borrowed Jay's truck to take Max around town and take picture of his senior field trip so we can put them around school and show everyone we did the ultimate prank. Only Max doesn't travel well and Lori lost her grip... Maybe the shoe polish was a bad idea. But it was all almost under control until you didn't stop and I saw a truck and swerved even more into the ditch."
At the look on his face clearly that last part wasn't said very well... He was still advancing and I had pretty much almost circled his truck at this point.
Me: "Oh nooooo.. I am not saying it was your fault, I mean the stop sign was clearly gone. So why stop right? And you obviously didn't know Max was going nuts or anything, I mean why would you?
At this point I looked over to Jay and Lori for moral support, as things were just not going very well for me. Only they were not interested in us at all, they were too busy making out at the front of Jay's truck!!! Oh yeah, they are getting along GREAT now. This also got Alex's attention so he became the alpha male and people started to scramble. I was put into his truck and told not to move. He and Jay got Jay's truck out of the ditch and they exchanged a few words. Lori was told she would be getting a ride home from Jay and I would talk with her later. Alex and I took Max home, gave him a bath and some extra bones to keep him silent... (Yeah, like he was going to rat us out!)
Then Alex decided a walk up to the pond was in order and off we went, minus bread so I just knew this wasn't going to be as fun as our last pond experience. When we got into the clearing, the stop sign in all its glory was there, with another sign posted below it...'Unless you have bread, then keep coming!' I couldn't help it.. I had to laugh, it was super funny and I knew right away Jay was behind it all. But that was just really not the right time to laugh. He grabbed my arm and marched me to the first log he found and over his knee I went...
Smack, smack, smack....
Alex:"Woman... You are going to give me gray hair. I told you if you ever put yourself in harms way again you would be over my knee. Well here we are and you will remember this for a long time coming. I don't even want to think of what could have happen to you. If I find out you had anything to do with that stop sign..."
This went on for a VERY long time.. I went from confusion to shock and straight forward to remorse and LOTS of tears by the time he was done. He held me and rocked me for a good thirty minutes before I could mumble around his chest..
Me:"You actually spanked me! That really hurt....(Hiccup) I didn't think you would."
Alex: "Oh didn't you little one?"
<Insert long dramatic sigh here.......>
Me:"Yeah, fine. I guess in the back of my head it was always a possibility you are just that alpha you might actually do it. Plus you usually do what you say you are going to do, you are stubborn that way."
Alex:"You really want to throw stones right now?"
Me:"Um... You are stubborn in a really HOT kinda way...."
We had a very long talk about his grandparents and their marriage and how he wanted to model our relationship after them. He would clearly be the head of our relationship and together we would work through anything as long as we had the trust in each other that each of us would do our part. I knew his grandparents and it was very easy to see the love they had together and so I was sure that this was a good idea. I also trusted Alex, because even though I was sitting on his lap with a very sore/hot bottom, I also felt loved and safe. It was almost 4 years later that I finally told anyone what happen that day by the pond... My sister-in-law, Lori.
Jay and Lori married one year before us and have six children... Yes, six... Four girls (Jay so deserves that) and two boys. Their oldest is graduating from high school this year, so I am now thinking Lori and I need to watch for any plans on a senior prank!
Friday, October 25, 2013
How We Got Together & Started DD - Part 3
Sit back and hold on to something, this post is going to cover a LOT of ground (6 months).
September:
One week before my senior year started, we were contacted by the school offering me the opportunity to attend high school in the morning and college in the afternoons. Basically they started a new program with the community college down the street and those students that had only 3 credits left to earn to graduate and have a high GPA would be qualified. So I would start college the following year as a sophomore instead of a freshman. I wanted to do it the second I heard the offer, but my Dad was not going with it.. I knew Alex was graduating in December and he had made it pretty clear we were an item by this point. A slow item, as he was dating me in group outings and he had only kissed me the one time... Grrrrr. But I wanted to fast track my college education and not miss the Alex bus. I love my Dad, but he is the old school, women should stay home and raise the kids kind of guy. Men go out and hunt and gather, they support the family..
(I kid you not, he said hunt and gather!!!)
My Mom and I rallied and won, but it took several weeks for my Dad to come around. So my senior year started out a bit bumpy. I think Alex ultimately brought my Dad around, he wasn't happy my senior year was going to be more hectic. But he knew it was what I wanted and so he was supportive. He was also of the thought that if I was busier, I would stay out of trouble. Whatever!
Everyone in the program was assigned a buddy, so we could help each other and cover for each other if one of us was out sick or missed a class. My buddy was Lori, my polar opposite in just about every way possible. Cheerleader, never seen in anything but a dress and perfect make up every day.. She ran school fundraisers, organized activities and dances.. I avoided them like the plague. So we knew of each other, but didn't really know each other. So this experience threw us together and I think it shocked the both of us how well we got along. She even talked me into attending the Homecoming dance in October and we doubled.
November:
Alex invited my family to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family, so that was the first of many LARGE celebrations with his family. My brother made it home and ate everything in sight... He was different and it took us a few days to find our rhythm but it was a great time and when he left again I felt much better. But he did bring home a huge bag of dirty clothes, so my Mom and I worked on that together.
December:
Alex graduated from college and got offered a really good position in a large company. He was going to be sent out of town for several weeks in January for orientation and training. So I was happy for him, but had really mixed feelings about him being gone for so long. Plus, I always had in the back of my mind he would go and fall head over heels for some classy business lady that was closer to his age. But he spent as much time with me over the holidays as he could and on New Years... I got my second kiss...and my third.. and my forth... Yes, it was a long night and the start of regular kisses! FINALLY!
January:
Alex was gone for three weeks..... He called me daily and sent me flowers often. We would lay in bed on the phone together and listen to each other breath.. I fell asleep like that several times, drove my parents crazy. I think he spent most of his first paycheck paying for the phone bill. :0)
February:
Alex was back but we didn't have much time together right away, so he promised me a very special Valentines date. So in preparation of our date, I gave Lori her dream.. She got to make me over and help me find the perfect dress.. Our one battle was over heels, I didn't want to fall on my face on Valentines. She spent the better part of a weekend helping me pull it all together and in the end I wore the heels. Alex is 6'4 and I am only 5'7, so heels help bridge that gap a bit for us. Plus they do wonderful things for my legs and I was going for it with this outfit. The look on Alex's face when I came down the stairs was priceless, my Mom got it on camera.. I have a copy in my scrap book, one of my favorite pictures ever.
Alex took me to a really nice Italian restaurant for dinner, that was an hour out of town. We had a booth tucked back in a corner, with runny candles and everything. I was super impressed and in awe of it all, Alex even ordered for both of us. We had a great meal and shared a chocolate dessert and laughed over who got more. After dinner Alex got me settled back in his car and said he knew of a park that had a pond with many hungry ducks and he whipped out a bag with several loaves of bread. It was perfect... I had heels on. Sigh. He said the ducks wouldn't mind if I went bare foot and neither would he for that matter so off we went. The path to the pond was a bit rough going so a quarter of the way Alex scooped me up and carried me, which had me thinking this night couldn't get any better.. I was wrong!
We came around a bend in the path and by the pond both our families were gathered and a big cheer went up as they saw us. It took me a few minutes to understand what was happening, by then he had me on my feet and he was digging into his pocket and going down on one knee in front of me. I cried through the entire proposal and I am certain he said really nice romantic things.. But I was just really a mess and could just shake my head yes and watch him slip the ring on my finger. He gave me a heart shaped diamond, because I had taken his heart. (I still have my original diamond, but it comes out of the setting all the time. I think it is due to the shape, but I will never part with it!)
To be continued...(But a sneak peek)
A few months later... Jay's truck, a borrowed bull dog (maybe stolen, depends how you look at it) and a ditch would prove to be the perfect combination to land me over Alex's knee for the first time... He includes the stop sign thing too, but I think the first three were enough. I will tell you the sad details of how it all went down in my final part 4 post.
Have a great weekend!!!
September:
One week before my senior year started, we were contacted by the school offering me the opportunity to attend high school in the morning and college in the afternoons. Basically they started a new program with the community college down the street and those students that had only 3 credits left to earn to graduate and have a high GPA would be qualified. So I would start college the following year as a sophomore instead of a freshman. I wanted to do it the second I heard the offer, but my Dad was not going with it.. I knew Alex was graduating in December and he had made it pretty clear we were an item by this point. A slow item, as he was dating me in group outings and he had only kissed me the one time... Grrrrr. But I wanted to fast track my college education and not miss the Alex bus. I love my Dad, but he is the old school, women should stay home and raise the kids kind of guy. Men go out and hunt and gather, they support the family..
(I kid you not, he said hunt and gather!!!)
My Mom and I rallied and won, but it took several weeks for my Dad to come around. So my senior year started out a bit bumpy. I think Alex ultimately brought my Dad around, he wasn't happy my senior year was going to be more hectic. But he knew it was what I wanted and so he was supportive. He was also of the thought that if I was busier, I would stay out of trouble. Whatever!
Everyone in the program was assigned a buddy, so we could help each other and cover for each other if one of us was out sick or missed a class. My buddy was Lori, my polar opposite in just about every way possible. Cheerleader, never seen in anything but a dress and perfect make up every day.. She ran school fundraisers, organized activities and dances.. I avoided them like the plague. So we knew of each other, but didn't really know each other. So this experience threw us together and I think it shocked the both of us how well we got along. She even talked me into attending the Homecoming dance in October and we doubled.
November:
Alex invited my family to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family, so that was the first of many LARGE celebrations with his family. My brother made it home and ate everything in sight... He was different and it took us a few days to find our rhythm but it was a great time and when he left again I felt much better. But he did bring home a huge bag of dirty clothes, so my Mom and I worked on that together.
December:
Alex graduated from college and got offered a really good position in a large company. He was going to be sent out of town for several weeks in January for orientation and training. So I was happy for him, but had really mixed feelings about him being gone for so long. Plus, I always had in the back of my mind he would go and fall head over heels for some classy business lady that was closer to his age. But he spent as much time with me over the holidays as he could and on New Years... I got my second kiss...and my third.. and my forth... Yes, it was a long night and the start of regular kisses! FINALLY!
January:
Alex was gone for three weeks..... He called me daily and sent me flowers often. We would lay in bed on the phone together and listen to each other breath.. I fell asleep like that several times, drove my parents crazy. I think he spent most of his first paycheck paying for the phone bill. :0)
February:
Alex was back but we didn't have much time together right away, so he promised me a very special Valentines date. So in preparation of our date, I gave Lori her dream.. She got to make me over and help me find the perfect dress.. Our one battle was over heels, I didn't want to fall on my face on Valentines. She spent the better part of a weekend helping me pull it all together and in the end I wore the heels. Alex is 6'4 and I am only 5'7, so heels help bridge that gap a bit for us. Plus they do wonderful things for my legs and I was going for it with this outfit. The look on Alex's face when I came down the stairs was priceless, my Mom got it on camera.. I have a copy in my scrap book, one of my favorite pictures ever.
Alex took me to a really nice Italian restaurant for dinner, that was an hour out of town. We had a booth tucked back in a corner, with runny candles and everything. I was super impressed and in awe of it all, Alex even ordered for both of us. We had a great meal and shared a chocolate dessert and laughed over who got more. After dinner Alex got me settled back in his car and said he knew of a park that had a pond with many hungry ducks and he whipped out a bag with several loaves of bread. It was perfect... I had heels on. Sigh. He said the ducks wouldn't mind if I went bare foot and neither would he for that matter so off we went. The path to the pond was a bit rough going so a quarter of the way Alex scooped me up and carried me, which had me thinking this night couldn't get any better.. I was wrong!
We came around a bend in the path and by the pond both our families were gathered and a big cheer went up as they saw us. It took me a few minutes to understand what was happening, by then he had me on my feet and he was digging into his pocket and going down on one knee in front of me. I cried through the entire proposal and I am certain he said really nice romantic things.. But I was just really a mess and could just shake my head yes and watch him slip the ring on my finger. He gave me a heart shaped diamond, because I had taken his heart. (I still have my original diamond, but it comes out of the setting all the time. I think it is due to the shape, but I will never part with it!)
To be continued...(But a sneak peek)
A few months later... Jay's truck, a borrowed bull dog (maybe stolen, depends how you look at it) and a ditch would prove to be the perfect combination to land me over Alex's knee for the first time... He includes the stop sign thing too, but I think the first three were enough. I will tell you the sad details of how it all went down in my final part 4 post.
Have a great weekend!!!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
How We Got Together & Started DD - Part 2
Oh my goodness the pressure.. I know it took me a few days to get more out, but I promise to not leave you all hanging as long between this post and the next. My goal is to get this done in two more parts.. But I seem to be getting a bit wordy, so let's see what happens. :0)
Most of that summer was spent with Alex showing up for dinner or showing up on the weekend to help my father with his many projects. Not sure how he made the time, he was working and attending college classes that summer, but he would always find a way to pop in a few times a week. My birthday is in the end of summer and I remember how sad I was, as everything was getting ready to change. My brother was packing and getting ready to move a few hours away into a dorm to start college. I was having a hard time with him not being there everyday and my parents kept telling me to enjoy my last summer as a kid. I was thinking... what, after my senior year I would magically become an adult? I wanted to get a job over the summer but my parents wanted me to enjoy my summer and spend time with them. I didn't understand then but looking back they knew I was going to be leaving them at the end of the year and this was truly my last summer really being with them as a minor. Another thing I didn't know at this time is that Alex had spoken to my parents and laid out his intent on courting with the goal being marriage.
As most young people do, I had a go to spot.. The place where you go when you want to be alone to either think or lick your wounds, depending on the situation. I had a small family celebration for my 17th birthday and being unsettled about all the change I went to my go to spot. My spot was a pond that was tucked back in a wooded area a few blocks from my house. I would load up with bread and dryer sheets (the mosquito population was heavy) and head out on foot. The pond was home to several generations of ducks, it was fun to watch them be little one season and then return the next and start their own little family. Those return ducks were use to me from the previous year, so when they would hear me trudging up from the woods they would start swimming to the bank knowing food was on its way. I spoiled these ducks, my Mom would buy the cheapest bread and freeze it for me, so I would always have a supply for my trips out to the pond.
I had just gone through all my bread and was sitting on the grass watching the ducks swim when I heard the snapping of twigs in the woods. Now this spot was not just mine, it was well known by the neighborhood kids..but I was annoyed to hear that some one was working their way up to "my" spot when I had gotten there first. Sigh. My annoyance swiftly turned to shock when Alex came into the clearing with another loaf of bread and a huge smile. He also had a present tucked under his arm, so if the extra bread didn't melt away the annoyance completely that pretty present did. He had stopped by the house and my Mom had loaded him up with bread and sent him my direction. She had also told him that for a birthday girl I wasn't very happy today and could he cheer me up...
He made his way over and flopped down next to me...
Alex: "You should know that I might need a blood transfusion from the amount of blood I have lost getting here to wish you a happy birthday."
Me: "Well since you did bring bread and a pretty present, I suppose I could share my dryer sheets with you."
He spent a few minutes rubbing dryer sheets on his arms and clothes making a big production out of it to make me laugh. But the ducks didn't want anything to do with him, so he had to hang back while I went down and fed them more bread. Once the greedy little ducks had downed another loaf of bread I came back and sat down next to Alex.
Alex: "Present now or after you tell me why you are not happier on your birthday?"
Me: "What? I am the perfect picture of all that is happy...."
One second I was on the grass and the next I was lifted up on his lap and cuddled into his chest. I think my thought process at this time was something like... OHMYGOSHIAMONHISLAPANDHEISHUGGINGMEANDHESMELLSREALLYGOOD!!!!
Alex: "What ever it is you can tell me about it, I am pretty good at listening and even helping solve problems. I am the oldest of 8 remember, so give me a shot."
It took me a few minutes of internal struggle, but after a long dramatic sigh I went for it...
Me: "He is leaving and I am suppose to magically poof from a kid to adult in the next 9 months and everything is changing...." (Insert another dramatic sigh here)
Alex: "You are worried about your brother moving out and going to college?"
Me: "Yes, he will be gone. Only coming home for holidays and nothing will be the same! Plus he can't even do laundry, how is he going to get clean clothes? Or better yet he is horrible at getting up in the morning, it takes me and my Mom both to wake him up.. He will miss all his morning classes and that can't be good."
Alex: "I know you love him and you are worried for him, but this is his time to grow up and be his own man. He needs to learn to do laundry, wake up on time and manage his class schedule. That is part of starting his own life and pushing towards his future and being successful."
I had to giggle a bit at that...
Me: "You lost me at man... Did he magically poof and I didn't see it happen?"
After a quick squeeze and a few chuckles...
Alex:"I think when he comes home for Thanksgiving you will notice a big change in your brother and maybe you wont worry as much as his leaving this first time. He is not a kid and neither are you for that matter... You are a beautiful young lady and you will naturally change quite a bit in the next 9 months, so you don't need to worry about a magical poof moment to happen."
My head whipped up at the word "beautiful" and I think my jaw dropped down a bit too.. So it took me a few minutes to respond, but when I managed to find my voice...
Me: "You think I am beautiful?"
Alex:"Yes, I do."
He put his left hand on my cheek and slowly leaned in and kissed me.. with his eyes wide open. I remember my heart was racing so fast I thought he has got to be hearing it too.. It was short but VERY sweet.
Alex: "Want to open your present now?"
Me: "Um, not sure anything is going to beat what just happen."
With a chuckle he lifted me back off his lap and on the grass next to him and handed me my present.
Alex: "I'm very glad you think so, humor me and open it anyway."
He gave me a scrap book to document and keep things from my senior year in high school and any thing else I felt important enough to record. My name was engraved on the front cover and on the back was engraved "Much love, Alex."
My scrap book did record a few school events, but the major theme.... Alex. I actually kept the wrapping paper in the scrap book from that day at the pond. The book records from that day all the way to our engagement. Then I needed another book!
My kids, especially my daughter enjoy going through the book and asking me about things taped to the page or entries of my thoughts on events. This scrap book will always be dear to me and to him, we pull it out every now and then... normally our anniversary and revisit our courtship all over again.
To be continued...
Most of that summer was spent with Alex showing up for dinner or showing up on the weekend to help my father with his many projects. Not sure how he made the time, he was working and attending college classes that summer, but he would always find a way to pop in a few times a week. My birthday is in the end of summer and I remember how sad I was, as everything was getting ready to change. My brother was packing and getting ready to move a few hours away into a dorm to start college. I was having a hard time with him not being there everyday and my parents kept telling me to enjoy my last summer as a kid. I was thinking... what, after my senior year I would magically become an adult? I wanted to get a job over the summer but my parents wanted me to enjoy my summer and spend time with them. I didn't understand then but looking back they knew I was going to be leaving them at the end of the year and this was truly my last summer really being with them as a minor. Another thing I didn't know at this time is that Alex had spoken to my parents and laid out his intent on courting with the goal being marriage.
As most young people do, I had a go to spot.. The place where you go when you want to be alone to either think or lick your wounds, depending on the situation. I had a small family celebration for my 17th birthday and being unsettled about all the change I went to my go to spot. My spot was a pond that was tucked back in a wooded area a few blocks from my house. I would load up with bread and dryer sheets (the mosquito population was heavy) and head out on foot. The pond was home to several generations of ducks, it was fun to watch them be little one season and then return the next and start their own little family. Those return ducks were use to me from the previous year, so when they would hear me trudging up from the woods they would start swimming to the bank knowing food was on its way. I spoiled these ducks, my Mom would buy the cheapest bread and freeze it for me, so I would always have a supply for my trips out to the pond.
I had just gone through all my bread and was sitting on the grass watching the ducks swim when I heard the snapping of twigs in the woods. Now this spot was not just mine, it was well known by the neighborhood kids..but I was annoyed to hear that some one was working their way up to "my" spot when I had gotten there first. Sigh. My annoyance swiftly turned to shock when Alex came into the clearing with another loaf of bread and a huge smile. He also had a present tucked under his arm, so if the extra bread didn't melt away the annoyance completely that pretty present did. He had stopped by the house and my Mom had loaded him up with bread and sent him my direction. She had also told him that for a birthday girl I wasn't very happy today and could he cheer me up...
He made his way over and flopped down next to me...
Alex: "You should know that I might need a blood transfusion from the amount of blood I have lost getting here to wish you a happy birthday."
Me: "Well since you did bring bread and a pretty present, I suppose I could share my dryer sheets with you."
He spent a few minutes rubbing dryer sheets on his arms and clothes making a big production out of it to make me laugh. But the ducks didn't want anything to do with him, so he had to hang back while I went down and fed them more bread. Once the greedy little ducks had downed another loaf of bread I came back and sat down next to Alex.
Alex: "Present now or after you tell me why you are not happier on your birthday?"
Me: "What? I am the perfect picture of all that is happy...."
One second I was on the grass and the next I was lifted up on his lap and cuddled into his chest. I think my thought process at this time was something like... OHMYGOSHIAMONHISLAPANDHEISHUGGINGMEANDHESMELLSREALLYGOOD!!!!
Alex: "What ever it is you can tell me about it, I am pretty good at listening and even helping solve problems. I am the oldest of 8 remember, so give me a shot."
It took me a few minutes of internal struggle, but after a long dramatic sigh I went for it...
Me: "He is leaving and I am suppose to magically poof from a kid to adult in the next 9 months and everything is changing...." (Insert another dramatic sigh here)
Alex: "You are worried about your brother moving out and going to college?"
Me: "Yes, he will be gone. Only coming home for holidays and nothing will be the same! Plus he can't even do laundry, how is he going to get clean clothes? Or better yet he is horrible at getting up in the morning, it takes me and my Mom both to wake him up.. He will miss all his morning classes and that can't be good."
Alex: "I know you love him and you are worried for him, but this is his time to grow up and be his own man. He needs to learn to do laundry, wake up on time and manage his class schedule. That is part of starting his own life and pushing towards his future and being successful."
I had to giggle a bit at that...
Me: "You lost me at man... Did he magically poof and I didn't see it happen?"
After a quick squeeze and a few chuckles...
Alex:"I think when he comes home for Thanksgiving you will notice a big change in your brother and maybe you wont worry as much as his leaving this first time. He is not a kid and neither are you for that matter... You are a beautiful young lady and you will naturally change quite a bit in the next 9 months, so you don't need to worry about a magical poof moment to happen."
My head whipped up at the word "beautiful" and I think my jaw dropped down a bit too.. So it took me a few minutes to respond, but when I managed to find my voice...
Me: "You think I am beautiful?"
Alex:"Yes, I do."
He put his left hand on my cheek and slowly leaned in and kissed me.. with his eyes wide open. I remember my heart was racing so fast I thought he has got to be hearing it too.. It was short but VERY sweet.
Alex: "Want to open your present now?"
Me: "Um, not sure anything is going to beat what just happen."
With a chuckle he lifted me back off his lap and on the grass next to him and handed me my present.
Alex: "I'm very glad you think so, humor me and open it anyway."
He gave me a scrap book to document and keep things from my senior year in high school and any thing else I felt important enough to record. My name was engraved on the front cover and on the back was engraved "Much love, Alex."
My scrap book did record a few school events, but the major theme.... Alex. I actually kept the wrapping paper in the scrap book from that day at the pond. The book records from that day all the way to our engagement. Then I needed another book!
My kids, especially my daughter enjoy going through the book and asking me about things taped to the page or entries of my thoughts on events. This scrap book will always be dear to me and to him, we pull it out every now and then... normally our anniversary and revisit our courtship all over again.
To be continued...
Thursday, October 17, 2013
How We Got Together & Started DD - Part 1
I have been asked several times over to provide more details on just how Alex and I got from that moment at Jay's game to married and me over his knee.. So I will now attempt to give you just that! This could get long, so I am going to break it up into a few posts. If you haven't read "The First Time" post you will want to go read that one first!
Here we go....
What makes a twenty year old suggest or even think of putting a feisty young lady over his knee? Well that is really easy... It's a family tradition that his grandfather passed down to him and several of his other grandchildren. He basically told Alex that dating should be purposeful and not frivolous. The actions of dating should be done to find a wife and not to just have a moment and move on. But in order to find said wife a man needs to know himself, have a plan and be a leader she would want to follow. Alex said his grandfather was a really strong influence on him growing up and just witnessing the love his grandparents had was enough to make him want to know the "secret" to having that same thing. So as each grandson would start looking at girls, grandpa would start coaching them in the tradition he was taught.
Where is Alex's father in all this you ask... :0)
I should tell you that Alex's father was in an accident in his mid twenties and his mother actually met his dad nursing him back from his injuries. Very sweet story and romantic as heck, I still get teary eyed when they tell the story of how they fell in love. But this accident changed the formula of how their marriage was structured and so the family tradition skipped a generation. Their relationship and my own parents remind me that non DD marriage can work as well, but I do see bumps they struggle over that we don't. But to be fair we have some bumps too in this dynamic that they would never even imagine tackling. But I digress...
Back to that night at Jay's game...
After Alex walked away from me that night on the bleachers, boy howdy was I furious. How dare he threaten to put me over his knee, just who did the jerk think we was!!! I had worked myself up pretty good by the time Jay came off the field and I told him what a jerk of a brother he had. The look on Jay's face when I told him exactly what Alex had said to me was not what I had expected. Instead of him getting mad with me and verbally bashing his brother as only expected of a best friend he turned white as a ghost. I thought he was sick, maybe got over heated so I ran for water. Only when I got back I found him with a silly grin on his face and a quick "I can't help you on this one, I agree with him". Which had me stomping off to find another ride home because at that point I was done with the Smith boys! Grrrrrr...
Jay spent the next several weeks making sure Alex and I crossed paths as much as possible.. If he promised to pick me up from some place, Alex would show up instead. I got a flat tire and called Jay only to have Alex show up and save the day. It was the flat tire incident where I stopped seeing him as a nosy older brother type and really looked at him. When in the world did Alex, older brother to Jay and all around pain in my tush growing up get... well GORGEOUS!! I mean it really happen that fast, I went from irritated that Jay sent Alex, to oh my goodness this is not a boy but a man changing my tire. At this point I became tongue tied and just sat back and watch him take over the situation and change the tire. I also took the time to rethink my feelings where one Alex Smith was concerned. I definitely peg that as the day where I started to see Alex as a man and started treating him with more respect. Alex started showing up at my house, offering to help my dad on projects. (My father to this day always has "projects", drives my mother batty.) So of course my mom would invite him to stay for dinner or lunch since he was ever so helpful and there. Eventually he was just there in time for meals once or twice a week and it was normal, I just set the place at the table knowing he would be there.
To be continued... :0)
Here we go....
What makes a twenty year old suggest or even think of putting a feisty young lady over his knee? Well that is really easy... It's a family tradition that his grandfather passed down to him and several of his other grandchildren. He basically told Alex that dating should be purposeful and not frivolous. The actions of dating should be done to find a wife and not to just have a moment and move on. But in order to find said wife a man needs to know himself, have a plan and be a leader she would want to follow. Alex said his grandfather was a really strong influence on him growing up and just witnessing the love his grandparents had was enough to make him want to know the "secret" to having that same thing. So as each grandson would start looking at girls, grandpa would start coaching them in the tradition he was taught.
Where is Alex's father in all this you ask... :0)
I should tell you that Alex's father was in an accident in his mid twenties and his mother actually met his dad nursing him back from his injuries. Very sweet story and romantic as heck, I still get teary eyed when they tell the story of how they fell in love. But this accident changed the formula of how their marriage was structured and so the family tradition skipped a generation. Their relationship and my own parents remind me that non DD marriage can work as well, but I do see bumps they struggle over that we don't. But to be fair we have some bumps too in this dynamic that they would never even imagine tackling. But I digress...
Back to that night at Jay's game...
After Alex walked away from me that night on the bleachers, boy howdy was I furious. How dare he threaten to put me over his knee, just who did the jerk think we was!!! I had worked myself up pretty good by the time Jay came off the field and I told him what a jerk of a brother he had. The look on Jay's face when I told him exactly what Alex had said to me was not what I had expected. Instead of him getting mad with me and verbally bashing his brother as only expected of a best friend he turned white as a ghost. I thought he was sick, maybe got over heated so I ran for water. Only when I got back I found him with a silly grin on his face and a quick "I can't help you on this one, I agree with him". Which had me stomping off to find another ride home because at that point I was done with the Smith boys! Grrrrrr...
Jay spent the next several weeks making sure Alex and I crossed paths as much as possible.. If he promised to pick me up from some place, Alex would show up instead. I got a flat tire and called Jay only to have Alex show up and save the day. It was the flat tire incident where I stopped seeing him as a nosy older brother type and really looked at him. When in the world did Alex, older brother to Jay and all around pain in my tush growing up get... well GORGEOUS!! I mean it really happen that fast, I went from irritated that Jay sent Alex, to oh my goodness this is not a boy but a man changing my tire. At this point I became tongue tied and just sat back and watch him take over the situation and change the tire. I also took the time to rethink my feelings where one Alex Smith was concerned. I definitely peg that as the day where I started to see Alex as a man and started treating him with more respect. Alex started showing up at my house, offering to help my dad on projects. (My father to this day always has "projects", drives my mother batty.) So of course my mom would invite him to stay for dinner or lunch since he was ever so helpful and there. Eventually he was just there in time for meals once or twice a week and it was normal, I just set the place at the table knowing he would be there.
To be continued... :0)
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Anonymous
Anonymous.. This is your five minutes, after this you get no further acknowledgement from me. From my third post you have been leaving me your comments, spewing your negativity and sarcasm. What I find interesting is your vigilance to follow each post so closely, within minutes of my publishing you are putting in your comment. Why troll around DD blogs if you are so against the concept? You are so quick to deduce things about me and those that practice DD, yet your comments are very telling...
Your creativity with foul language is truly astonishing and points to your lack of education. I often tell my children that those that resort to cursing either lack the intelligence to stick useful adjectives together or lack the imagination to create their own string of thought. Another thing that jumps out at me is that perhaps you doth protest too much... Perhaps you want and crave this life style but it is unattainable to you for what ever reason, so this is you lashing out at someone that has it. Like a child pouting over a toy another has and you have yet to get or will never have. You come across as a spoiled child that has never been given the gift of discipline or the simple concept of treating others as you would be treated.
I suggest you find another blog to follow, maybe a self help blog of some sort... Educate yourself. Only you can create the positive you are so badly lacking in your life. Life is way to short to be so negative!
I can be apathetic to a point, but then my Irish temper takes over... So let me make this as simple and clear as possible for you...
MOVE ON! Get over yourself...
Your creativity with foul language is truly astonishing and points to your lack of education. I often tell my children that those that resort to cursing either lack the intelligence to stick useful adjectives together or lack the imagination to create their own string of thought. Another thing that jumps out at me is that perhaps you doth protest too much... Perhaps you want and crave this life style but it is unattainable to you for what ever reason, so this is you lashing out at someone that has it. Like a child pouting over a toy another has and you have yet to get or will never have. You come across as a spoiled child that has never been given the gift of discipline or the simple concept of treating others as you would be treated.
I suggest you find another blog to follow, maybe a self help blog of some sort... Educate yourself. Only you can create the positive you are so badly lacking in your life. Life is way to short to be so negative!
I can be apathetic to a point, but then my Irish temper takes over... So let me make this as simple and clear as possible for you...
MOVE ON! Get over yourself...
Friday, October 11, 2013
Sunny's MeMe
I think this went around over the summer, it looked like a fun Friday adventure! :0)
1. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? Nothing... I sleep so much better without anything on and my husband loves that.. :0)
2.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PET NAME FOR YOUR SO? Babe.. Hun..
3.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING TO DO ON A RAINY DAY? Read a book, sip a glass of red wine and relax.
4.YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK FOOD? Rice chips (pico de gayo is my favorite)
5.DO YOU CRY AT SAD MOVIES? Yes!!! It doesn't even have to be really sad to get the tears going. Ugh. When I was pregnant even commercials made me cry.
6.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE IMPLEMENT TO BE SPANKED WITH? TBD, we are going to experiment.. So stay tuned! :0)
7.IS YOUR HAIR LONG OR SHORT? Long
8.WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? King
9. DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE LIGHTS ON OR OFF? Either, if they are on we don't usually take the time out to turn them off.. :0)
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE AROUND THE HOUSE OUTFIT? Yoga pants and tank top..
11. HOW DO YOU DRINK YOUR TEA OR COFFEE? I don't like tea.. Coffee is once in a while and it has to have a flavored creamer.. Caramel or French Vanilla.
12.ARE YOU A BARGAIN HUNTER? Oh heck yeah!
13.DO YOU THINK BALD MEN ARE SEXY? Depends on the shape of their head. :0)
14.ARE YOU A GOOD DRIVER? Well since I am answering this and not my husband, I will go with yes.
15. IN A 24 HOUR PERIOD HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND WATCHING TV? Unless it is football season, practically none. Now if we are including Netflix and watching old stuff, maybe an hour or two when I have the time.
16.NAME THE LAST BOOK YOU READ: The Perfect Hope, Nora Roberts
17. WOULD YOU RATHER BE HOT OR COLD? Cold, I like big sweaters and Jeans.
18.HOW MANY HOURS A DAY DO YOU SPEND ON THE INTERNET? 15 hours, but I am on all day for work too! So it is not as bad as it sounds... (Yep, that is my story and I am sticking to it!)
19.DO YOU LIKE FACIAL HAIR ON A MAN? NO NO NO, hate it
20.ARE YOU A SMOKER? Nope!
2.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PET NAME FOR YOUR SO? Babe.. Hun..
3.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING TO DO ON A RAINY DAY? Read a book, sip a glass of red wine and relax.
4.YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK FOOD? Rice chips (pico de gayo is my favorite)
5.DO YOU CRY AT SAD MOVIES? Yes!!! It doesn't even have to be really sad to get the tears going. Ugh. When I was pregnant even commercials made me cry.
6.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE IMPLEMENT TO BE SPANKED WITH? TBD, we are going to experiment.. So stay tuned! :0)
7.IS YOUR HAIR LONG OR SHORT? Long
8.WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? King
9. DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE LIGHTS ON OR OFF? Either, if they are on we don't usually take the time out to turn them off.. :0)
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE AROUND THE HOUSE OUTFIT? Yoga pants and tank top..
11. HOW DO YOU DRINK YOUR TEA OR COFFEE? I don't like tea.. Coffee is once in a while and it has to have a flavored creamer.. Caramel or French Vanilla.
12.ARE YOU A BARGAIN HUNTER? Oh heck yeah!
13.DO YOU THINK BALD MEN ARE SEXY? Depends on the shape of their head. :0)
14.ARE YOU A GOOD DRIVER? Well since I am answering this and not my husband, I will go with yes.
15. IN A 24 HOUR PERIOD HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND WATCHING TV? Unless it is football season, practically none. Now if we are including Netflix and watching old stuff, maybe an hour or two when I have the time.
16.NAME THE LAST BOOK YOU READ: The Perfect Hope, Nora Roberts
17. WOULD YOU RATHER BE HOT OR COLD? Cold, I like big sweaters and Jeans.
18.HOW MANY HOURS A DAY DO YOU SPEND ON THE INTERNET? 15 hours, but I am on all day for work too! So it is not as bad as it sounds... (Yep, that is my story and I am sticking to it!)
19.DO YOU LIKE FACIAL HAIR ON A MAN? NO NO NO, hate it
20.ARE YOU A SMOKER? Nope!
Thanks Sunny for starting this, it was lots of fun!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Re-connection Spankings
First..
My husband has been named.... Alex.
Second... Re-Connection Spankings!
So if you read my last post at the end I vented a bit about the amount of spanking going on over here and the need for re-connection spankings. I might have whined a bit about Alex being overly HOHish, which was not fair. Sigh..
I was pushing at him and he was reacting to my pushing. Totally see that now, but at that point of venting I wasn't seeing that at all. So thank you to those that left me comments, you all made me see this from another point of view and you have the experience to tell me what the heck I am doing... I haven't felt myself with all this change and that is driving me batty too.
My husband has been named.... Alex.
Whew.. That was not easy.
Second... Re-Connection Spankings!
So if you read my last post at the end I vented a bit about the amount of spanking going on over here and the need for re-connection spankings. I might have whined a bit about Alex being overly HOHish, which was not fair. Sigh..
I was pushing at him and he was reacting to my pushing. Totally see that now, but at that point of venting I wasn't seeing that at all. So thank you to those that left me comments, you all made me see this from another point of view and you have the experience to tell me what the heck I am doing... I haven't felt myself with all this change and that is driving me batty too.
Lots of competition between these two..
Alex has clued into what I am doing too, bless his heart and has been very patient. Of course I didn't see that either until we had a "discussion" last night and he showed me just how easy he had been on me. Ugh.
I am happy and amazed to say that I am feeling so much better this morning and slept really well for the first time in weeks last night. I was out the minute my head hit the pillow and didn't move until the alarm went of this morning. I am a very light sleeper and usually get up once or twice to check on things, but last night was just total exhaustion. The kids are on Fall break from school and out of town with the Grandparents, so we had the entire house to ourselves this last week. Which is good because we needed all of last night to "discuss" all this line testing..
I can push, put my toes all over the line and even hint at crossing the line and he will be right there pulling me back. Would have been nice to get that through my thick head before he set my bottom on fire, but that's just me. Alex has got me, always has and that will never change. We are trying new things in our relationship, one that has been going strong for 17 plus years. He just seems to handle the change better, maybe that is why he is HOH! I am very glad not to hold that position.
Re-connection will happen on Sunday as planned and will continue for now.. Of course he suggested I try to stay out of trouble until then so it will be easier on my bottom. Grrrrrr..
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
The Name Game
As suggested by Wilma, I am trying to name my hubby for this blog.... Sounded easy, but is proving a bit difficult.
My options so far:
Alex - I gave him this name in my "The First Time" post. It is actually his middle name, so not very creative.
Captain - He is forever asking me "Just who is the captain of this ship?" (I was a bit spunky once and broke into the 'Oh captain, my captain' poem...Didn't end well.)
Yoda - I told Wilma she was my blogger Yoda and he pouted that he was the one keeping me strong with the force. (Think he is missing the connection of "his" force and "the" force, but didn't point that out.)
That is it....He is a tough one. Iron man was in the running, but he totally balked at it. My reasoning was his hand feels like iron and he really looks a LOT like Tony Stark... Only way taller. He growled and said I need glasses... What ever!
Any votes?
On another topic...Reconnection (some call them maintenance) spankings, what the heck are these for again? Should they really be weekly... I am getting spanked more than ever in our relationship! Not so sure these weekly ones are needed....We haven't had a break to get unconnected! Plus the two we have attempted have turned into punishment spankings. Grrrrrr...
I was/am super happy and surprised at the new "fun/sexy" spankings that came with all this change. But now we have more than doubled the punishment ratio, which I am not happy about. He says I am pushing and I say he is being overly HOHish. Maybe this is just a normal adjustment period and we both need to chill out a bit, because this could become a battle at some point otherwise.... One I won't win! :0(
My options so far:
Alex - I gave him this name in my "The First Time" post. It is actually his middle name, so not very creative.
Captain - He is forever asking me "Just who is the captain of this ship?" (I was a bit spunky once and broke into the 'Oh captain, my captain' poem...Didn't end well.)
Yoda - I told Wilma she was my blogger Yoda and he pouted that he was the one keeping me strong with the force. (Think he is missing the connection of "his" force and "the" force, but didn't point that out.)
That is it....He is a tough one. Iron man was in the running, but he totally balked at it. My reasoning was his hand feels like iron and he really looks a LOT like Tony Stark... Only way taller. He growled and said I need glasses... What ever!
Any votes?
On another topic...Reconnection (some call them maintenance) spankings, what the heck are these for again? Should they really be weekly... I am getting spanked more than ever in our relationship! Not so sure these weekly ones are needed....We haven't had a break to get unconnected! Plus the two we have attempted have turned into punishment spankings. Grrrrrr...
I was/am super happy and surprised at the new "fun/sexy" spankings that came with all this change. But now we have more than doubled the punishment ratio, which I am not happy about. He says I am pushing and I say he is being overly HOHish. Maybe this is just a normal adjustment period and we both need to chill out a bit, because this could become a battle at some point otherwise.... One I won't win! :0(
Monday, September 30, 2013
Fantasy Football Spanking
Over the last several months I have been reading blogs and finding out that there are lots of different types of spankings going on.
Punishment Spankings - BUSTED, you broke a rule or crossed the wrong line!
Love this movie!
Reconnect/Maintenance Spankings - Role affirmation, reality check and checking in with each other.
Erotic/Good Girl Spankings - Let's get it on!
Not sure we broke new ground here, but it is a first for me.....
Fantasy Football Spanking - You thought it was bad when they scored points against you... Let's see how you feel now that their points help turn your bottom red.
Punishment Spankings - BUSTED, you broke a rule or crossed the wrong line!
Love this movie!
Reconnect/Maintenance Spankings - Role affirmation, reality check and checking in with each other.
Erotic/Good Girl Spankings - Let's get it on!
Not sure we broke new ground here, but it is a first for me.....
Fantasy Football Spanking - You thought it was bad when they scored points against you... Let's see how you feel now that their points help turn your bottom red.
What???????
Some background points:
1. For those not versed in Fantasy Football, it's basically where you pick players from different teams that play particular positions and how they play earns them/you points. You play in a league and are matched up hoping your players score you more fantasy points than your opponent's players get them. The games are on Thursday night, Sunday (most the day) and Monday night. I am in three leagues and Thursday's game was really important for my overall chances of winning this weekends match ups.
2. I might be just a tad competitive...
3. This is my first week with the "No cleaning Thursday night prior to the cleaning lady that is coming on Friday morning".
This is what happen....
The family was fed, the kids were on their side of the house and my husband was in his man cave... Freedom!
I decided to watch Thursday night football in bed and really live it up...
- Rice Chips.... (I am healthy, this is my version of junk food.. Work with me!)
- Vitamin Waters... (I always drink at least two, so line them up.)
- iPad with Fantasy Football application to show me the points add up...
- Remotes near by to alter sound as needed...
Ok, let the game begin!
So maybe I got a tiny bit carried away, but how are the players going to know what they need to do unless I tell (yell) them instructions? Maybe if I jump around a bit that would get their attention too! Yeah, maybe a combination of both would even work better... During the first part of the second quarter my husband came upstairs and walked into a mess. The quilt was hanging off the end of the bed, pillows were all over the bed and maybe one or two might have ended up on the floor in front of the TV. Rice chips were just all over and my monster puppy was madly crunching away at them. I was on my knees in important conversation with the players on the screen, so I didn't notice his exact arrival. But I did happen to hear the door shut and the click of the lock being turned. (It is amazing how one becomes so tuned into that little click sound over the years.. Maybe because that is usually the sound leading up to the smack, smack, smack sound.)
I watched him calmly walk over and pick up the pillows that had jumped (seriously, how else did they get there?) onto the floor and shut off the TV. He walked over to the bed and placed the pillows against the headboard, never losing eye contact with me... Then he made his move and within seconds he was sitting with his back against said pillows with me over his lap. Down came the pajama bottoms and undies and up goes the shirt to my shoulders. And then.... NOTHING. I can feel one of his hands resting on my lower back and the other on my bottom. Usually when I am in this position he is all action, so this was scary new..
Let the internal struggle begin... Should I say something or would that make this even worse... A joke, that could lighten the mood, change his mind... Um...Dang I can't think of one good joke. Ugh!
In the end I decided to lay there and wait him out...
Minutes go by... Not sure how many, but long enough for me to relax and start down a really bad line of thinking... Just how bad the kid's bathroom looked right now, because it looked horrific this morning...Oh and I know my oldest didn't pick his dirty clothes up either... Grrrrrrr. Now I am not certain if he felt me tense even more at this train of thought or what but right about mid growl he decided to ask me a question.
Him: "What part of the house are you mentally cleaning right now?"
Me: "Sigh. Our Son's bedroom floor is just covered in dirty clothes, I just know it!"
Him: "Is the no cleaning rule behind the scene I walked into?"
Me: "Um... I don't think so." (I honestly didn't know, I mean it was in the back of my mind all day that I couldn't clean that night. But was I freaking out over it???)
Him: "So why do you feel the quarterback on the 49ers team deserved to be called that really creative string of names?" (Yeah, I am really ashamed of that string now. Not one of my finer moments.)
Me: "Well he keeps throwing to the players of my opponent and not one of mine! I mean are they suppose to play favorites or spread the wealth? I say move the ball around and be an equal opportunity quarterback. But oh no, he has to target two guys out of what...like 10 out there and give them all the points!" (Insert a humph and dramatic crossing of my arms.)
Him: "So which two players seem to be racking up the points against you?"
Me: "Gore and Boldin... Grrrrrr!"
Him: "You thought it was bad when they scored points against you... Let's see how you feel now that their points help turn your bottom red."
Me: "What???"
Him: "I have your iPad right here and every time an additional point is made by either Gore or Boldin will earn your bottom a smack."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Him: "You can thank Gore for those."
He has NEVER.. EVER.. EVER.. done anything like this before. I had no idea what to think and was speechless... After those three smacks he literally sat there and rubbed my back and kneaded my shoulders and would move downwards to my lower thighs and move back up... Every time the application alerted him to more points he would smack accordingly. Now the smacks were just enough to get stingy but not like a bad sting which until last night would make ZERO sense to me. At one point I was rooting these two players on in my head!!!
We stayed in this position for just over an hour until he was ready to remove his clothes and take some more invasive actions.
In the end Gore had 41 points and Boldin 20! My bottom was a lovely shade of red and I was in a very lovely place that got even better once my husband got his clothes off...
I love Fantasy Football... Happy sigh.
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